Quotes On The Bus

Every Saturday this spot is dedicated to things overheard on one of the Port Authority buses of Allegheny County.  Thanks to the AWESOME Michael Nac, creator of QUOTES ON THE BUS for his posts each week!

“My boobs used to be bigger than my stomach. Now my stomach is bigger than my boobs. And that’s bad. That’s bad.” 51

Follow Quotes on the Bus on Facebook HERE and/or Twitter HERE

If you want to contribute your own quote overheard on a bus, send to michaelcnac@gmail.com

Jagoff Parking All Around.. 2 More

 

What in theeeeeeeee hell are we all doing?  Jagoff Parkers, other wise known as #PeterParkers still come in… multiple times per week>  What are we all missing??????

We think the answer is COURTESY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like at this guy.. he has that special rack on the back…. it looks pretty clean soooooooooooo wondering if he’s like those I.T. execs that buy hoopty-doo 4-wheel drive  pick ups that are so decked out with chrome that they look like a parade wagon and never REALLY go four-wheeling….. only getting REAL dirt on them when they run over the horse droppings along the parade route!!!

Here’s the Facebook note that came with the pic:

as if it weren’t hard enough to get a parking place at Ikea on a Saturday you have people like this…

Oh wait!!! Maybe they put that PERTY LIL’ cage on the back so that they could load up with 5 or 6 Slurfingggibuker’s from IKEA.  Of course we made that name up but so does IKEA!!  And, it is our impression, that a Slurfingggibuket is probably an IKEA night stand or a full dining room set.. it just depends on how many of those cool screws and clips you purchase in aisle 3, bin #4.

And then we have MERCY, MERCY Mercedes….

Tons of spots all over but nope…. they have to park right on the line… not a care in the world.  It came with a tweet that said,

You are an a$@!hole…

Well Mercy-Me.. you may indeed be one of those but you are also clearly a #PeterParker Parking Jagoff tooooo!!

Perhaps you needed this space to unload the kids’ combo-playstation-X-Box-Ninja-Turtle-StarWars-expandable-Lego-life-sized-bridge kits to take into the restaurant to occupy them during dinner so that they don’t bother anyone, OR YOU, during eating.  Orrrrrrrrrr you coulda just parked correctly AND, correct your kids and make them actually sit still during dinner like our parents did!!!!!!

As you know, when it comes to posting people here we believe in “Don’t hate, EDUCATE!”  But all of the potential education sessions we have offered seem to be ineffective.

The bottom line Mercy-Me and Hummer-Bird… we’re just going to pitch that all parking lots be installed with REVERSE GUILLOTINE’s along all of the parking lines.  Basically, if your car is left parked over a line for more than 120 seconds… BOOM.. the REVERSE GUILLOTINE shoots up and cuts your car in half… long ways, cross ways…(if parked like the hummer over 4 spaces.. basically, the REVERSE GUILLOTINE slices and dices your car!!!!)

The message is pretty simply.. LEARN HOW TO PARK, Ya Jagoffs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Any of you have ideas for RE-education or punishment?  leave a comment below.

Special thanks to @MikeDarnay@mikeyp3258, and Sandie Mackintosh, (Facebook) for being Honorary Jagoff Catchers for today’s blog post!!!

 

Click the pic below to print of your very own Ya Jagoff Parking Tags.

Click the Pic For Info on How to Get This Hoodie.

Bike Racks – Pittsburgh Airport

 

Photo Credit:wtae.com

 

What you are seeing is a bicycle rack that has been installed at the Pittsburgh Airport.   More specifically, you are seeing an EMPTY bike rack at the Pittsburgh Airport.  We have had a friend on Facebook documenting this bike rack and.. the lack of it’s use since last July!!!!

Our JIU (Jagoff Investigative Unit) has done it’s best on this one.. checking out rules for cycling on the highways leading do the airport as well as searching for really, really good reasons for installing a bike rack at the airport.  As it turns out, you really ARE allowed to ride your bike on the the Parkway going to the Airport AND the Montour Trail actually, kind of, does lead to the airport.

As an additional note.. the JIU staff saw absolutely ZERO people riding their bicycle, toting Pierre Cardin matching luggage bags OR even a backpack, trying to catch a plane to ANYWHERE!

While we doubt that the bike rack was a budget-buster of any kind, we do wonder what in theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hell is a bike rack doing at our airport which is located waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there in Findlay Township?  Is this perhaps a crazy scheme to get more people to ride their bikes to the airport and therefore petition to have the airport moved to the Pittsburgh South Side???

Is this a prop eventually to be used in yet another movie to be shot in Pittsburgh… where Bruce Willis will ride a Huffy Bike with a banana seat and a 5-foot Sissy Bar and a Stargell Baseball card taped to the spokes along side a 747 taxiing down the runway and he jumps from the bike to the cockpit and stops the plane????

Hell, the Bruce Willis movie theory is just about as plausible as seeing a husband and wife come home from their 10-day Carribean Cruise, unlocking their bikes and cycling home to Verona.

Can someone PA-leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze explain to us why County money and employee time were used to put in this bike rack, Ya Jagoffs???

 

Click the pic to see how to order your own hoodie!!!