How Primanti’s Should Battle New Burger King FRY BURGER!

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Yesterday it hit the news!  Burger King is adding french fries to their hamburgers.    And it looks like this.  (see full story from WPXI here)

Photo courtesy of The Associated Press

Photo courtesy of The Associated Press

Now, we all know of some local restaurant that has taken liberties with their own version of fries and cole slaw on a sandwich.. calling it the Pittsburgh Sandwich, the Pittsburgher, the Yinzer and on and on and on and on and on.. (wow… just fell asleep bored writing that).  And while I don’t think that fries on the burger is really a thing about following the Primanti’s lead, I think it’s more about feeding college kids who learned, long ago, that it is AWESOME to put your fries on your burger.   Quite frankly, I think Burger King fries are some of the WORST fast food fries and I see this as a manner to use up their french fry inventory.    You don’t see McDonald’s trying to hide THEIR fries on anything!!

And while we’re at it, when is the last time you saw french fries at Burger King that looked like fresh-cut 2 x 4’s out of the lumber aisle at Lowe’s?

The Primanti’s response to the French Fry Burger was awesome… they tweeted a photo of one of THEIR sandwiches stacked so tall that UPMC almost called them to ask if they could mount letters on it.  And this was the wording on the tweet:

It’s cute that they’re trying, but here’s what a real (the original) sandwich w fries on it looks like

What if Primanti’s took the NEXT step and hired that creepy, over-sized head, currently unemployed Burger King to sell THEIR sandwiches???  Sure, it would be deja vu creepy if you saw him hanging around one of the suburban Primanti’s locations or the original store in the Strip District during normal hours.  But, after 11pm on a Friday or Saturday night, he would hardly be noticed and, might even become more revered than the Pie Man!

But let’s go YINZER and get all up in the grill of Burger King… (see what I did there.. GRILL?) cuz that’s what we do here in Pittsburgh!!

Burger King, you’re like the Avis of fast food.. trying harder but ALWAYS second to someone!!!  Get your measly-little-four-french-fry-bun-only-looks-this-good-in-advertising-photos-cause-its-usually-smashed-by-some-teenager-cook-that-hates-their-job French Fry Burger outta our house, Ya Jagoffs!

Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff – WPXI’s Rob Johnston “Vine Star”

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We are yakkin’ with Vine Star and WPXI Guy “Rob On The Run” (Rob Johnston)

75,000 + Vine Followers???????????

Who is his fav celebrity that he has interviewed?

What the HELL IS VINE you ask??

He shows me how to make a funny vine!

If you don’t see the video box below, click HERE to watch the video.

Follow Captain Rob on Twitter, Facebook and Vine

Thanks To

For the production!

Special Thanks to Chateau Cafe and Cakery (@ChateauCC) for being gracious hosts!

It’s the ONLY PLACE IN THE WORLD where you can get a Ya Jagoff Sandwich!

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Protesting The Right To Be Topless

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Just in case you missed this, members of the “Go Topless Group” had a protest in Downtown Pittsburgh.

Excerpt from WTAE:

Monday marks the 93rd anniversary of women gaining the right to vote in the U.S., but protesters said women are still not treated equally.

“The point of this is to raise awareness of this problem. We have to have equal rights for men and women. If men are going to be able to go topless, women should be able to go topless without that stigma,” said protester Judith Sherwood.

See WTAE-TV story HERE

So basically, this group believes that the priority in the great equal rights gap between men and women is, women should be permitted to walk around in public topless.  This is like a mini-bike and buying a hot tub…. it seems to be such a FANTASTIC idea at the time but… over time… you realize… WHAT IN THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HELL was I thinking?  Especially when you catch a glimpse of the older topless ladies that look like they have 2 old tube socks full of sand hanging from their clavicles.

This protest was supposed to basically go from the old Hilton-now-the-Wyndham hotel ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE POINT.. to…. THE POINT!!!!  If you are not familiar with the geography, it LITERALLY is right across the street!  (Me thinks that the organizers are trainees and interns of those who designed the North Shore Subway extension!)

And thank GAWD it was a short walk because, at least the 5-7 people that showed up could ALMOST stretch themselves in a chain across a the street, in front of the hotel, but only if they streeeeeeeeeeeeeeetched and touched finger tips!  So not much of a civil disobedience protest.

But no worries!  We have a new protest of our own!  And most of those in Point State Park that day agree…it’s a protest against the lanky, bald guy in the pic above.  And, no, it is NOT a protest of the right to BARE arms.  (I don’t even think those ARE arms.  He’s a seamstress and those are thread samples hanging from his shoulders.)

Hey Wilbur Milktoast…. because of this picture, we now have over 2,000 volunteers ready to protest that EVERYONE keep their shirts on and, as an addendum in Part 4, Paragraph 1, Subsection 5.91 of the draft law, it requires all shirts to look like baggy hockey sweaters to cover up any sun-glow ARMS, Ya Jagoff!