A Police Car- Might Be the Wrong Car to ALLEGEDLY Hijack


I almost missed this story.  I heard it on WPXI as I was getting out of the shower, knew it was perfect, but had nothing with which to make a note.  Thankfully I was able to get a memory refresher from WPXI.com and every other “Dumb Criminal” news website around the country.  I have now purchased Crayola Bath Tub markers (64 pack) to make sure I never am without the ability to take a note!

So you’ve seen the Sears Optical TV commercial where the lady jumps into a police car mistaking it for a taxi, RIGHT?  (Click the video below to see the commercial if you need a refresher.)

Well, in a “real-life-imitates-TV-commercial” story,  a woman in the Strip District jumped in a car to drive it, ALLEGEDLY, to where her own car was.  The bad news is, the car was an unmarked police car.  The even MORE bad news is, there were two undercover police officers sitting in it.

You will also be shocked to find out that this woman ALLEGEDLY smelled of alcohol.

See WPXI story HERE.

No word on if the woman had mistaken it as an UberCar or a Lyft vehicle.    Also no word on if the undercover police car  lured her in with a fake “lyft-like” mustache on its bumper!

Hey Ria-ria-mamma-mia, good to hear that there was nothing in the police report about you cracking yourself up, in the “borrowed car” with all of your “I’m-glad-those-stupid-donut-eaters-didn’t-catch-me” stories!!!  That could have gotten ugly.

Fortunately his thing has an easy fix.  First,  slow down the drinking to a point where you’re just trying sweet talk a taxi driver into hitching a free ride.  Second, and this one is REALLY novel, don’t try to drive ANY car while you’re ALLEGEDLY smacked up with I’m-all-hotted-up-for-a-big-weekend-nightout fu-fu drinks, Ya Jagoff!

Video: 2014 Pittsburgh Regatta “Parking Chair”

On July 4th, the “Floating Parking Chair” (#FloatingParkingChair on Twitter) embarked on it’s journey to win the Pittsburgh 3 Rivers Regatta “Anything That Floats Race.”  Some bystanders had reported that we had come in 7th out of 20-plus boats (unverified by Dewey, Cheatem, and How CPAs).

As you can see from the video, we didn’t win but we didn’t sink or drown!  The photo above is very Lewis-and-Clark-ish.  It’s perfect.

Thanks to Amanda from BoldPittsburgh for the video.

No prize money for the  Pittsburgh Emergency Medicine Foundation on this outing but you can feel free to find out more about the organization or donate by going here.

Here’s how to follow people on twitter if you want.

@BWolfe510 Beth Wolfe

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George Dudash on his 2002 flip phone


Couple Tries Hard But No “Best in Show”



A Washington County, Pennsylvania couple did their best to NOT embarrass the rest of us from Western Pennsylvania by moving their private activities to West Virginia but…..

BJ Geardello and her doggy “best friend,” Robert Deyell, took their kinky stuff to a busy intersection of US 40 in the Triadelphia.  He was naked crawling on all fours with her in a robe walking him on a dog leash.


Ya see.. today, everyone has a camera phone and.. well….it ended up on the internet.

As it turns out, both admitted to just being into some kinky sex.  Police actually checked over Robert to see if he had been injured from crawling and from the shackles.  He was reported to be fine other than your standard Labrador Retriever hip dysplasia symptoms.

The best part of this story was how fast the West Virginians were tossing this story back across the border like a hot potato.

(Clear your throat and read this in your best stereotypical West Virginian old uncle voice) “Wazn’t one of ahrs!”

Despite BJ and Robert’s best efforts to cloak this activity in West Virginia any-thing-goes lore,  the West Virginia big-wigs were FAST to point out that these two were from Pennsylvania.

BJ and Robert… God bless ya on your desire to stay active and have some fun.  But paleeeeze, if you’re gonna do that again, could you please take it inside a Florida or West Virginia WalMart where that kind of stuff is standard practice and nobody would even THINK about taking your pictures or turning you in, Ya Jagoffs?