Justin Beiber’s REAL Crime

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Who didn’t see THIS coming…. Justin Bieber in trouble.  (CNN Report)

Normally, this blog doesn’t post things that are unrelated to Pittsburgh.  But, as you can see above, our SJU (Special Jagoff Unit) investigators, found the real story.

The Biebs, or, as above, the Miley Cyrus doppelganger, was allegedly drinking and racing a car… not just a normal 19 year-old’s 1982, two-door-piece-of-#@$@… but a Lamborghini.  At 19 he yelled at the cops and then, with no shame, smiled for his mug shot.  But the real crime, as it turns out, Bieber was wearing a Cleveland Browns t-shirt when the police pulled him over!!!

No confirmation yet, but we hear that the Miami prosecutor hopes to move the venue for Bieber’s hearing to Pittsburgh for possible death-penalty considerations or, at least, long term imprisonment in an east Cleveland neighborhood after we tell the locals in the neighborhood that Bieber’s hero is Art Modell.

He Bieb’s… yeah, I feel comfortable calling you that cuz I think we might be buds… there’s no fun in watching a 19-year old kid implode, EXCEPT when that kid is a smart-mouthed-spoiled-take-advantage-of-everyone-cuz-my-mother-chose-sell-me-out-to-make-me-famous-and-make-her-rich-instead-of-teaching-me-manners-and-respect-by-spanking-my-ass-when-I-deserved-it, Ya Jagoff!!!!

Hot Dog Work-Lunch Jagoff

This Facebook post came across and I honestly laughed out loud (LOL for you NON-Initial-buffs).

“Today was Hot Dog Thursday at work. One of my co-workers had 5 dogs. I didn’t have a chance to get any and I didn’t bring lunch.”

The subsequent posts included:

“I posted a pic on your wall. It’s damn close to what he actually looks like. If there was any food left I would have been glad to include that pic. Sadly there is nothing left. Nothing. I think he might have shot the condiments right from the bottles directly into his yap……. I am freaking starving right now!!

The submitted photo (above) was PERFECT since I have a rule that I won’t post people’s actual faces unless their famous.

Who DOESN’T know that person at work that will eat 4 helpings of the free buffet, bring their kids in for the company cookout, takes a doggie bag home from the employee cover-dish or even eat someone else’s food out of the work fridge??  Unfortunately because of this, John, our Facebook friend was relegated to  walking around his work place trying to figure out who might have a stick of gum or, even worse, trying to figure out who might have a bag of 2013 Halloween candy hidden in the bottom of someone’s desk drawer.  All because his coworker thought he was in the  Nathan’s Hot Dog eating trials!!!

Five Hot Dogs at work??  Hey Mr.Takeru Kobayashi “wanna-be,”  the Pittsburgh Pirates have an All-You-Can-Eat section that includes hot dogs.  Take some of your First Communion money, get a ticket and go eat everything in site so that our man John can get a morsel or two from the work lunch.  We all hope you had a helluva NITRATE HEADACHE at your desk, YA JAGOFF!

 

Thanks to Honorary Jagoff Catcher and Facebook Follower, John R for his tip!!

Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff – Norman Childs, Eyetique

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Welcome to another “Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff!” segment.

We are yakkin’ with the President of Eyetique, Norman Childs about eye glass fashion, fashion eye wear Jagoffs, Wiz Khalifa glasses, me modeling his eye wear in a thong and then, I want him to make me a singing star!!

Watch the video below.

Follow Eyetique on Twitter @Eyetique and @NC_Eyewear

Click the logo to find the Eyetique Website

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THANKS TO:

For the production!

Check out the Eyetique ad gallery.

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