Dealing With Pirates Frustration At Work

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There’s no question that the Pirates are providing excitement.  Night-after-night, PNC Park is sold out (EVEN WHEN THERE AREN’T  BOBBLE HEADS AND FIREWORKS) and their TV ratings are shooting through the roof, making all of the sponsors, who purchased air-time before the season, with mediocre expectations, look like geniuses.

And yesterday was almost “Steeler-Sunday” level of excitement, panic and frustration!  As I wrote on Twitter and Facebook during the game,

Today, a bunch of us are huddled around watching/listening for the end of the Pirates game on the edge of our seats.  364 days ago most of us didn’t give a #*%. This is fun.

And it IS fun but the swing of emotions of a 16-inning game, and then coming up on the losing end, brings a fair amount of frustration and utter EXHAUSTION.  So, at the request of Mary Mac of Mary Mac’s Bakehouse (via text) during the 16th inning, this work excuse for today was created.

Feel free to copy and paste it onto a document to turn into your boss if you feel sluggish at work today:

WORK EXCUSE DRAFT

Dear ____________,

Please excuse _______________ from working today. He/She was stress eating/drinking until late yesterday due to the overly exciting, and eventually, depressing, Pirates 16-inning game. ____________ is at work but probably cannot function, so please just let Him/Her alone until its time to go home. He/she will be a better employee tomorrow.

Thank you for your concern and respect.

P.S. If you don’t get sports and how they relate to my daily working abilities, ESPECIALLY as it comes to the Pirates and this season and the near-blind-hope that I have for them which caused me to loose my sensibility and go all-in yesterday and ate and drank my self to oblivion, please take today to get YOURSELF up to speed.

As stated here before, the word Jagoff can be used in a few different ways:

1) Expressing appreciation to someone, with a smile on your face and a hug, you say, “Ya Jagoff!”

2) Expressing being startled, half chuckling you say, “You scared the CRAP outta me, Ya Jagoff!”

3) And then there’s the version venting about someone that has been a jerk, with a scowl on your face, “Ya Jagoff!”

So Buccos… in the essence of definition #2 above, please pull yourselves together soon, Ya Jagoffs!

 

By the way, check out Mary Mac’s all natural bake mixes by clicking the pic below.

MaryMac

Saturday Rant – Krish Mohan

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Showcasing some of Pittsburgh’s comedy talent.

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This rant sponsored by

A website created to spread the word about comedy in Pittsburgh and be a resource to performers in Pittsburgh.

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The Grocery Store “Express Lane” Finally Gets A Post!

  (This is taken by a Pittsburgh ExPat at a Las Vegas Wal-Mart.)

The funny thing about THIS incident is, while most “Express Lanes” have a limit of 8 or 12 items, THIS ONE is 20 items – and this couple STILL went over the limit.  By the way, how is it possible to be “EXPRESS-LIKE” if you have 20 of ANYTHING unless they’re 20 of the same item and the checker-outer can scan one and hit the “Times 20″ button?

We actually experienced a local express-lane miscalculation spat between two people in line once.  The guy behind the the lady-that-had-rounded-up by a dozen items or so called her out right there in line.  She said, “Well if they’d open more lanes, than I wouldn’t have had to get in THIS line!” (Haaaaa… THAT’S IT… blame someone else vs. just saying, “I’m sorry, I screwed up.)

We’re concerned that the lady in the Vegas Wal-Mart’s definition of “1 more item” might be the whole case of Pepsi next to her!  Maybe it’s a Vegas-thing where people don’t actually recognize numbers unless they’re on a deck of cards or on a slot machine.

So Mr. and Mrs. Twenty-Something, “20 items or less” means ROUND DOWN – unless your sneaking in a 2-for-1 special (See, we’re flexible).  In the meantime, we’re glad to see you were using plastic to pay as opposed to being like those people that wait until the grand total comes up to decide to take their checkbook out of their purse and start writing OR look through 6 pockets for coins that add up to exact change, Ya Jagoffs!!!