You Paid WHAT To Go To The Concert?

Kenny Chesney is here tomorrow night!!!  In honor of that, here is a repost from LAST YEAR’s concert so that you all know what to look for at this year’s parking lot mess!

As expected, there were a few “Concert Jagoffs” at the recent Kenny Chesney show Saturday night. The local news showed a bunch of them that got arrested for fighting. (Yes, and we should sell beer at Kennywood cuz adults know how to control their liquor consumption in the hot sun around other adults, RIGHT?)

But this guy, we will call him Bucky like we do all concert Jagoff males, takes the prize!! He’s proof that, in the age of smart phones, your close friends are you close friends at least UNTIL you do something stupid enough worthy of posting on the internet!!!!

Can ya hear it?

Bucky’s Friends: “Hey, we just defended your honor.”

Bucky (Fake Name): “Oh, cool!”

Bucky’s Friends: “Yeah. Someone said you weren’t even good enough to sleep with the trash and we said, yes you are and sent them this picture to prove it .”

When you look at this picture, you think to yourself, “Wow, what ever happened to getting just-drunk-enough that you start telling everyone you love them, you started dancing alone in a corner fist-pumping and you started showing your buddy’s girlfriend how good you are at tying a cherry stem into a knot with your tounge?”

So you pay half of your mortgage payment on a concert ticket, invest in 27 bags of Doritos, pitch in for 4 kegs of beer, get the little lady a new blouse and cowboy hat, pay 1/3 of your mortgage payment to park, spend all afternoon singing “Kinny” songs getting fired up for the show and then………………..BLAM!!! Here you are in a position so compromising that your friends LEAVE YOU behind for dead or, even worse, help load your passed-out body into a random pick up truck bed AFTER and only after, they snap this pic of you sleeping on the cement!!!!

Bucky (not your REAL name), this photo is your friends teaching you a lesson through a newly approved Behavioral Change Methodology Phone App that we created called, TPE (Total Public Embarrassment).

We’re, not sure when you woke up from this but we’re guessing you had some serious gravel stuck to the side of your face when you did and enough pock marks to make you look like Bill Murray.
We’re also guessing you may have woken up with the munchies, took one look at the trash behind you, and said to yourself “Who dropped me off at the Eat n Park buffet?” as you started eating!!!

All we know is, in the future, be careful who you call a “friend.” Always be careful where you fall asleep. And, the big one is, stay away from the sissy, fruity BLENDER DRINKS the next time, ESPECIALLY if you’re wearing a plaid shirt, Ya Jagoff!!!!

 

So go enjoy the concert and for CRISSAKES keep those cameras handy!!

 

Driving Cell Phone Users

So I’m driving on I-279 toward the city.  Traffic is slow in the fast lane!  Is it a bus, is it some kind of tractor in the fast lane holding us up?  NOPE.

It’s THIS guy driving in the fast lane at 40mph just yick-yakin’ away with his hands going faster than he’s driving!!!!

Hey, I use my cell phone CONSTANTLY while I’m driving.  Sometimes even to take pictures (example here).  But one thing I can say is that I DON’T lose consciousness while I’m on the cell phone.

Big guy, if ya can’t WALK AND CHEW GUM at the same time, ain’t  no way your gonna accomplish driving and talking at the same time.  Unless yer last name is “Passing,” this lane ain’t yours so either get outta the way or go get yourself an Ohio license plate which would make driving slow in the fast line LEGAL , YA JAGOFF!

Self Serve – If Ya Know How

YJ-GasPumpsSync

 

We’ve posted some self serve gas pump stories before…people that fill their car with gas and the go inside to buy snacks, use the restroom, fix their make-up, apply for a second mortgage or whatever as well as the gas pumps that don’t have the little thingies on them to hold the pump open “hands free!”

This one is not so much bad or mean as it is entertaining.

I’m more than entertained by their jagoffery synchronization of filling their gas pumps and tugging on the hose to get more length !  (Watch yourself that one!)

I wonder if they are retired synchronized swimmers????

Word has it that they also went to put air in their rear tires but stretched the hose up over the hood, roof and trunk!!!

“More hose!”  (Watch yourself that one too!!)

Ladies good effort!!  We don’t really see a future for a Summer Olympic event for synchronized-self-serve-salsa.

But if there was, you’d be a Gold Medal pair…..and, given YOUR talent level, then USA would have YEARS of Gold Medal Domination  before China or the Rumanians could catch up to us on this one.

In the meantime, just as a reminder,  that little tiny arrow thingy near the gas pump icon on your dashboard is NOT an extra turn-signal indicator…..it actually points to the side your gas cap is on. What??  Yeppir!!!!!

Thanks for the laugh and keep searching for those left-handed gas pumps, Ya Jagoffs!!

 

Thanks to Trish (@PGHgrlnRDU) who sent us the above pic from North Carolina!!!