Apr 25 2012

Which Way is “Up” Ya Jagoff?

 

This might be the unique-iest (how about THAT made up word) Jagoff post so far.  This photo was sent to us by  fork lift professional that opened up the back of a tractor trailer to unload it and saw what you see in the pic!

The really cool thing is, the fork lift driver knew EXACTLY what to do with this situation.  Did he file “potential damage” forms at work?  No!  Did he report someone for doing a poor job of loading?  No!  Did he yell and scream about the people that loaded this truck?  Well, maybe for a little while UNTIL he decided to take a picture of what he was seeing and sent it to us!!!!

He also documented that, sending it to us, dropped his blood pressure AND frustration level by at last 50%!!  See?  We’re clinically proven… 9 outta 10 dentists approve us!!!  (The 10th one was a Jagoff!)

There’s not much to say about this… it is what it is.  Here’s what WE are wondering…does the person that loaded this, point left or right when they are referring to HEAVEN and/or HELL??  And are they sooooo confused with arrow use that they wear one of those, “I’m With Stupid” t-shirts and the arrow is pointing directly up at their own face?

Then we thought, what if a true YINZER was doing this box.. they might have put the arrow facing downward because, the would have thought “dn” meant “DAHN!”

We have no idea who loaded this but we sure are appreciative that it was sent to us.  The contents of the boxes, by the way, are kitchen cabinets.  And, just in case the same guys, that loaded this truck, are the some people installing the cabinets…..for the record, the granite stuff that comes NEXT goes on TOP of the cabinets.. it’s not the flooring for underneath, Ya Jagoffs!

 

This is the LAST time you’ll hear us beg… if you haven’t voted yet, Pittsburgh Magazine is having a “Pittsburgh’s Best” reader poll.  One of the votes is for Best Blog.  We would appreciate a vote before April 30th.  You can CLICK HERE to vote.  THANKS! 

 

 

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Apr 25 2012

“Peter Parker” Moved To Austin, Texas!!

We have a lot of new followers so let’s explain….it seems almost WEEKLY that people submit us photos, like the one above, of Pittsburgher’s poor parking talents.  We call them “Peter Parkers.”  Why “Peter Parkers?  Well, this is a family show, there’s a nickname for ”Richard” that we could use to describe how these people park BUT Peter seems like  better word since it goes with Parker so you get,  ”Peter Parker.” It just seems to settle much better with us in case someone turns us in to our mom!

But this photo was NOT taken in Pittsburgh… it’s Austin, Texas.  But the pic was taken by Pittsburgh’s very own, Olga Watkins (of the Olga Watkins Band.) 

Any thoughts on why this person parked like this?  Well, we have it…. it’s in that famous song:

The CARS at night, are big and bright!  (clap, clap, clap) Deep in the heart of Texas!!

So the cars in Texas are soooooo big that they need double spaces, maybe?  Then maybe this car WAS bigger and someone washed it, right there in that spot, AND IT SHRUNK (therefore its not the driver’s fault that they look like they can’t park.)

Ok..no!!  This person is simply a .. well.. wait for it.. it comes at the end.

Seriously, Peter Parker-Texas-Ranger, what in theeeeee hell were you looking at when you pulled in that spot.  It’s not like your car’s a prized trophy and you don’t want that guy on the left opening that door and putting a Montgomery DENT-try in your door.  (How about THAT country music reference?)

As a side note, if you’ve ever flown into Dallas/Fort Worth Airport, you know why it’s called, Dallas/Fort Worth Airport….because you land in one city and then spend 20-minutes on the plane driving on runways to the OTHER city where you exit the plane.

In the picture above, we think you can fit Dallas on ONE side of the white car and Fort Worth on the OTHER SIDE!!

Yes, we KNOW everything is “bigger” in Texas but, for parking spots, we think you better go a little more like a CHINA-Bigger for this parker, Ya Jagoffs!

Thanks to Olga Watkins for the pic and for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher!!! 

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By Jagoff Catcher • Parking Lot Jagoffs • 3 • Tags: , , ,

Apr 24 2012

“We’ll Save YOU a Lot of Money!” (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)

(Click here if you are from aht of tahn and NOT familiar with this TV commercial)

This one’s a little rocky cuz it involves what looks to be a nice family havin’ some fun.  Just like havin all of your kids being a part of the outgoing voice mail message at home: “HI!  This is John, Amy, Little Jack, Rita, Elizabeth and (someone says in a dog voice) Spot.  We’re not able to take your call so…..”  You get it. Cute but NOT ALWAYS enjoyable after the first 10 listens!

We’re not sure WHO to call out on this one – the girl and dad OR the marketing group that STOLE their money by advising them that it was a “CATCHY” thing to yell at TV viewers!!  Bottom line, to whomever’s in charge, STOP SCREAMING!!!!

Your marketing money would be better spent on a generic jingle, singing “High, high, quality at low, low prices!”  that would stick in our heads and aggravate everyone far LESS.  And lay off the high-energy-Venti, Mocha, High Caffeine, Lotta-Crappa-In-A-Cuppa’s.  And, by the way, we were afraid to look but,  is your company’s Facebook, Twitter and Web page built in ALL CAPS, Ya Jagoffs?????

 

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Apr 23 2012

The Eternal Turn Signal – CAPTURED ON VIDEO!!!

First, there was a hockey game yesterday.  Nothing needs to be said other than, we’re shocked but life has to move on.  If you’re having trouble moving on, read the pic below out loud.  You’ll feel better and be able to function in your daily life after.

Now let’s get to our eternal turn signal guy.  Dashcam guy would be proud of us.  If you’re new here, click HERE and you’ll see Dashcam guy’s fine video work that we have posted here.  He gets a post here once every month.

So there we were, driving on one of the most troubled roads in the Pittsburgh area.. the infamous Route 28.  For those unfamiliar with Route 28, if this road had the ability to feel emotions, it would feel about as well liked as Penguins defenseman Paul Martin.

So there we are passing the Millvale ramps and merging over to the left so that we are not in the “Exit Only” lane for Highland Park.  And we’re wondering, what is holding up traffic?  So we pull over to the right lane and see this Siemens truck (pictured above), sauntering along at the speed of a 5-year old on a Big Wheel, in the left lane WITH HIS RIGHT TURN SIGNAL ON.

So we get back into the left lane figuring, the funeral-like line behind the Siemens truck will move forward just as soon as the Siemens truck gets over to the right lane.  BUT…. he doesn’t move over.  As a matter of fact, for at least the next 3 miles, he CONTINUES to drive in the left lane with his right turn signal on!!!!  Here’s some video proving it.

So we stopped the video before you could see the guy’s face and you might be surprised to know that his hair was not grey!!  He was a young cat just tooling along with absoutley NO CLUE that he was holding back traffic AND riding with his turn signal on past, at least, 4 exits including Highland Park, Delafield Road, Fox Chapel and Blawnox!

Big guy, not sure what your focused on when you’re driving the Siemens truck but, one suggestion, focusing on DRIVING when you’re driving the Siemens truck might not be a bad idea for the future.  And that beeping-thingy thats going on in your truck is not on the radio, its the alarm telling you that your turn signal light has been on for over 90-minutes!

And by the way, those things on the sides of your vehicle are called MIRRORS!!!!  Those mirrors can actually be USED for driving purposes dontcha know….TO SEE THE TRAFFIC PILING UP BEHIND YOU WHEN YOU’RE TOOLING AROUND MILKING YOUR HOURLY WAGE BY NOT DRIVING THE SPEED LIMIT in the fast lane, Ya Jagoff!!!

 

Only 8 more days in the Pittsburgh Magazine poll. 

We would appreciate your vote, click below to get to the ballot.

VOTE HERE

 

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By Jagoff Catcher • Driving Jagoffs • 1 • Tags: , , ,

Apr 21 2012

Quotes On The Bus – Week 30

Every Saturday this spot is dedicated to things overheard on one of the Port Authority buses of Allegheny County.  Thanks to the AWESOME Michael Nac, creator of QUOTES ON THE BUS for his posts each week!

“Dude, I smell tortilla chips and onions and it’s making me hungry for nachos. (Pause)

No, wait a minute dude. That’s your B.O.”

Mid-Mon Valley Commuter

Follow Quotes on the Bus on Facebook HERE and/or Twitter HERE

If you want to contribute your own quote overheard on a bus, send to michaelcnac@gmail.com

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By Jagoff Catcher • Quotes On The Bus • 0

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