Lyft, Uber and Pennsylvania…

YJ-Lyft

 

Just a simple pic today of where the Pennsylvania PUC has put us regarding ride-sharing.

If you haven’t had your eye on this, Lyft and Uber have come to town and have been welcomed by many.  Basically because Taxi service in the area isn’t really a SERVICE.. it’s more of a inconvenience to the customer.. expensive and down on the company’s terms (just like the airlines operate these days.)

Yeah we get it that the Uber and Lyft antagonists want to say, (use your childhood whining, I lost at ocka-bocka-soda-corcka kid whining voice) “those guys don’t have to pay what we do! It’s unfair.. blah.. blah.. blah”

Pittsburgh Mayor, Bill Peduto, has it right:

“I’m not only a supporter of Lyft and Uber being in Pittsburgh, I’m also a user of Lyft and Uber. I think they fill a critical need in transportation within the city of Pittsburgh,” said Peduto. “I’ve had conversations with the chairman of the PUC, who also believes that ride-sharing programs, such as Lyft and Uber, have a place and (he) has assured me that the PUC will adopt changes to allow it to happen.”

Peduto said the PUC is adhering to antiquated guidelines that need to change.

“What has to happen is, the rules that the PUC allows operators to create programs like ride-sharing, which didn’t exist when those rules were written, to be adopted and changed to meet the times,” said Peduto. “What they can do is put in temporary rules that allow that time period between the changes and now to happen so that ride-sharing can continue in the city, and that’s what I’ve asked the chairman to do.”

Full Story on WTAEcom

Thanks for setting us back there PUC and judges.  Appreciate you ol’ goats “saving us” from ourselves!  Who wants to be current anyway?  There’s no good in that!  Whaddaya say we just wait to adopt ANY new things until after the Amish community adopts each them, Ya Jagoffs.

 

Lines? What Lines?

We had a completely different post set for today.  But, out of no where came an email.  And it contained, not just photo of a bad parking job, but a photo of  bad parking job CALLED OUT by one of our printable notes!!! (We’re soooo excited!!)  This horrendous parking job was found at the Cinemark parking lot out near Robinson Township, PA.

But wait!!!  Remember, we try to be about looking for solutions vs. placing blame.  You see, if we wanted to, we would actually place blame on the incompetency of the line painters for putting the lines in the wrong place and then congratulate the driver of the car for proving the point and making the line painters look bad!!

So as not to place blame on the driver without getting the real story, we sent our “Hard-Hitting” Jagoff Investigative Reporter team out to look at this.  And after they were done eating at the Settler’s Ridge Market Place and getting cheap boxes of candy cigarettes and Boston Baked Beans and purchasing nostalgic t-shirts at Five Below, our investigators found out this poor driver has a major vision problem.

You see, this driver, pulled into this space and, on the way to the movies.  As they were entering the theater lobby, they walked right into the post between the two entry doors.  Then, when standing in line to purchase their tickets, was found straddling the “form line here” rope, and when they went to get a fountain drink, ended up with a mix of Pepsi and Raspberry Iced Tea and a very wet hand because they couldn’t get the cup directly under one of the spouts and, finally, when they ultimately got into the theater, they ended up complaining to the Cinemark Manager about how sore the theater seats made the crack of their butt… only to realize they had actually watched the entire movie while unknowingly sitting on an ARMREST vs. an actual chair!!

So Cinemarker-Peter-Parker, we might actually hold a fundraiser to get you some cool frames at Pittsburgh’s best Eyetique!!

But until then, please only visit car washes that have that pulling-thingy to pull your car straight in.  And, when in a lot like this, don’t even try to back-up, pull-forward, turn, back-up, turn the wheel, then pull forward between the lines (otherwise known as PARKING) cuz, all that silly backing-up/pulling-up stuff is a total waste of gasoline at $3.89 per gallon, Ya Jagoff!

 

 

Get your own printable Peter Parker notes to leave on these cars. 

Click the pic below to download.

 

Pittsburgh Cutting Edge Health Care Ideas AGAIN!!!!!!!

There aren’t many times that I act like GENIUS but this might be one of ‘em!!!

Since Pittsburgh is always on the forefront of new health care things, I started to think, how can WE solve the national health care crisis.

Our SJU, Special Jagoff Unit,  found a way to lower health care costs, promote early checkups and take full advantage of those back-scatter airport scanners that show EVERRRRREEEEE thing including your skivvies AND the skid marks that make your DER-wear look like runway 2-8 RIGHT at the Pittsburgh International Airport (Click, Save, Fly!). 

HERE’S THE DEAL, staff the back-scatter scanner units with DOCTORS!!!  Yep, professionals that can make on-the-spot diagnoses.

Picture it:

“By the way sir, we’ve verified there’s no contraband in your colon, HOWEVER, Dr. Lou Stool, our gastroenterologist see’s a few polyps in your sigmoid area.  Could ya please step over here for a quick colonoscopy?  Don’t worry that you haven’t fasted, the Taco Bell you had in the food court would have cleaned ya out better than a molasses enema.”

OR

“By the way, ya might wanna consider cycling to your destination today instead of flying ‘cause you’re WAY over weight and, Dr. A. Fib Ralation, the TSA cardiologist working our scanner today, actually saw clumps of Primanti SANGwiches floating in your right coronary artery.”

Maybe we could even cash-in frequent flyer miles for things like heart catheterizations or  bags of IV fluid instead of comp drinks or for a ”Fashion Fit Emergency Mask” or maybe an in-flight urinary catheter for the old guy in the window seat (cuz he likes to lean) that gets up to pee every 20 minutes? Why not?  Those miles CERTAINLY aren’t good for flying anywhere!!

By the way, if this airport scanner health-care thing does go through, I see the following being some ORBITZ TRAVEL SPECIAL ideas:

 Asthmatics to Athens

Prostate Checks on flights to the Finger Lakes

Kidney Function Tests on European flights (Get it? You’re a pee-in’)

Hey Highmark, UPMC, Joe’s Healthcare, Pittsburgh Airport…. SOMEONE hire us as experts.. but we want full credit… like “Life Changing Medicine and Travel, Ya Jagoffs!”  Or “Your Health Care AND Travel Partner, Ya Jagoff!” or our favorite, “Click, Save Your Life, Fly, Ya Jagoff!!!!”