First, if you’re knew to here and need a definition for #PeterParkers, go HERE.
But this was cool because, one of these pics came from Twitter and one came from Facebook and they came from two completely different people. (Trust us!)
Now, barring that anything bad happened to the driver here, this may go into our #PeterParkers Hall of InFamous. As you can see, we have deployed our Jagoff-estrator to point out the driving lane.
1) Ran out of gas.. but did so in a very perpendicularly (made up that word) manner but came in about 2 ounces of getting that thing to coast 6 more feet into a spot.
2) There was a lot of snow on the ground when they parked (which makes no sense unless they were the very first vehicle to park and then everyone else chose to park like a Jag
3) This person dropped his wife off at Trader Joe’s, sneaked over to the McDonald’s, wolfed down a couple of Big Macs and then went to meet his wife in the Trader Joe’s who was in there buying things for the Kale smoothies that she thinks he likes but, for the life of her cannot figure out why he’s not losing wait.
4) This person has never experienced the senior-citizen-car-torpedo-maneuver as they randomly wonder up the down aisle or down the up aisle.
5) This person is VERY experienced the senior-citizen-car-torpedo-maneuver and is hoping to get a new car out of the deal.
6) This person is trying to get an early spot for the car cruise in May and make sure that they have enough spots for their lawn chairs and cooler.
Well, for the sake of today’s blog, let’s be presumptions and accusative (because that’s kind of what happens here on a daily basis.)
Listen you pull-in-without-regard-to-time-place-or-dimension-spatially-awareness-challenged-Peter-parker-perpetrator, I realize it may take you an extra 1.585782251 minutes to park BETWEEN THE LINES like the REST OF US (who also have important things to do) but, how about pullin’ that hobby-supply-rig into those white lines so that the rest of us can drive freely to meet OUR kale-buying spouses after sucking down MickyD’s, YA JAGOFF!
Ok… if it wasn’t for Pittsburgh’s Michael Keaton up for an award, I seriously doubt I would have made it through the Oscars show last night without some type of advanced life support.
But, then it donned on me. What if we used the Oscars rules in real life work.
1) What if we had to walk “the carpet” every day into work and someone from Human Resources was standing there checking on your desire to be there, who you rode the bus or carpooled with and then you got to mention “who” you were wearing, i.e, JC Penney. And of course, you’d have 8 out of 10 people say Target as “Tarjjjaay” and think they were funny and the first ones to every say that. The point of this would be Human Resources could scan those who were not appropriately dressed.
2) On project proposals, there is a secret vote and then the boss comes in and lists the 3 best project nominees and then opens an envelope to reveal, “The Best Spreadsheet for the Hogan 3/4″ Hopfler Coupling Satellite Warehouse On Time Delivery Model” goes to, Larry in 2nd cubicle over by the window on the 4th floor.” Then Larry tells everyone how honored he was just to have his proposal considered with all of the other talented submitters and then goes off on a tangent about his secret passion… how the curve ball should be permitted in coach-pitch baseball leagues.
3) People dress up for work! Then, EVERY day doesn’t look like “Pay $5 donation to _______ charity so you can dress casual” Day.
4) When people drone on at those meetings, you simply queue the music on your smartphone and play them off and they are REQUIRED to shut the @#@# up!! (This one is probably the best adaptation of any of the awards ceremony rules.)
See yinz tomorrow once I wake up from my Rip Van Winkle sleep cast upon me by the entertainment level of that show last night.
Onyx the crow at The National Aviary in Pittsburgh has predicted that Pittsburgh’s own Michael Keaton will win the Oscar for Best Actor this weekend. See the video. Thanks much to Russel Streiner, Board Chair of the Pittsburgh Film Office and Kathy and Onyx from the National Aviary for playing along.
So, if you’re on twitter, make sure you hit the hashtag #Pgh4Birdman all this week and weekend.