The New BMW Construction Vehicle

 (Travel has me tied up so recycling this post. It’ still relevant.)

The above photo (minus our Jagoff-astrator notations) came to us with this caption:

Who needs a truck #jagoff ?

Haaaa… (sniff)… haaa.. that’s kind of it, RIGHT?   This is another one of those “Damn-it-I-wish-I-had-gotten-the-SUV-or-Pickup” posts. (See the previous hot-tub post here)

The first thing I thought of when I saw this pic was, “Boy that DYI Channel sure is bringing out the handyman in everyone!!”  I can just see this guy.. he gets up in the morning, goes to the spa, runs to Starbucks for a cappuccino-carmel-double-shot-of-vanilla-with-a-whole-lotta-other-crappa-lotta, has a cup of yogurt and says, “Honey, I’m gonna go put in a french drain today!!  But before I stop and get the pipe, I have to stop at Macy’s to get a flannel shirt and a pair of those work jeans, the kind that have the tool-holding-hooky-thingies on the hip.”

As an FYI, I am absolutely HORRIBLE at home repair products.  Like, if you were calling a list of people to help you with a home repair project, I would be on the list BELOW your drunken Uncle Stush who will only come over if your fridge is full of Iron City cans.

So back to the BMW…. I wondered if this was a special option for BEAMER drivers who like to smoke but don’t want the second hand smoke to blow toward their kids in the back seat.  Then I thought, maybe this is a FANTASTIC new church-pipe-organ-entertainment-center option.

But NOPE!  It is what it is.. a BEAMER hauling stuff.

And to “Steely McBeamer” (that was crafty, huh?) if ya have enough $$ to purchase that nice car, don’t ya have $19.95 to rent the Home Depot truck for an hour OR hire the “We Haul Anything Including Your Sleeping Mother-in-Law” people from the Pennysaver or Craig’s List, Ya Jagoff?


Thanks to our Virginia-based Twitter Follower and Honorary Jagoff Catcher Lowell Murray.


Don’t Forget!

You can get FREE “Jagoff” ring tones and phone screensaver.

Click the pic and see how to download it for free!

Hawaiian Walking Jagoffery


The photo above is from Hawaii.  Yes, paradise has Jagoffs too!  I’ve used the Jagoff-estrator to highlight the Jagoffery.

Here’s the tweet  that accompanied the pic:

You’ve seen these before.. walking Jagoffs.  They come in various shapes and sitches (which means “situations” in cool-kids talk from what I hear).

Walking Jagoffs #1: Walk down a street despite the fact that there is a fully accommodating, capable, available sidewalk.

Walking Jagoffs #2: Walk down a street or cross in a crosswalk in front of our car, texting and walking slower than a turtle comedian trying to overemphasize how slow turtles walk.

Walking Jagoffs #3: The person in a shopping center parking lot that you considerately give the “Royal Wave” to cross in front of your car and then they walk diagonally to their destination vs. walking a straight line to cross in front of you, getting past the front of your car, and THEN turning toward their destination.

Walking Jagoffs #4: People that you let cross in front of your car and then they do that, “I’m making it look like I’m running but I’m not really running” routine.

Walking Jagoffs #5: People that you let cross in front of you but don’t acknowledge a “Thanks.”

So to the happy paradoxical paradise pedestrians (yeah.. I did that all by myself), get on the sidewalk before a car creeps up on ya and beeps a horn making you SHART in your paradise pants, Ya Jagoffs!



Thanks much to Melissa Chang for the Tweet and for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher.

Melissa (1)

You can follow her blog (all about Hawaii eating and stuff): Frolic Hawaii: Urban Mix Plate and on twitter and Instagram @Melissa808

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The Thermostat Jag


I mean…66 degrees is the same as 66 degrees, right?  Excluding of course any humidity or wind chill factor.

And mind, you these are the same kids who, despite it being less than 30 degrees on some days, chose to wear shorts and sandles to the school-bus stop!

If 66 is a good enough temperature in the summer, why can’t we put the thermostat on 66 in the winter?

Quit messin’ with that thermostat YaJagoffs!