Sammy The Simple Scion Driver



What else has to be said?

This guy, pulls into the Wendy’s, the wrong way, then sits there whiles someone from the car runs into the Wendy’s and gets some food!!!!!!!!!!

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm hello?  This is like that Sesame Street song:

One of these things is not like the other.   One of these things just doesn’t belong!

Sure you can use the excuse that the driver is a little confused since we see a double-yellow line which SHOULD indicate two-way traffic but SOMEHOW indicates, for Wendy’s, side by side lanes heading the same direction.  But……….

Personally, I am pretty sure that this person is the SAME person that drives around most mall/plaza parking lots driving the opposite direction up and down each row and then has to make a 22-foot wide turn to get their car into one of the angled parking spots.

WAIT… perhaps we are being too judgmental… maybe this car is built the same as the Pittsburgh Subway cars… the driver simply switches the end of the car that he’s driving!!!

Hey Sammy-Scion… who seems to be Arrow-challenged..  we figured it out…. you’re in training for becoming an older man-driver that drives the wifey around all day.  You know, that  guy that pulls up to the curb in front of the store and put his 4-way flashers on “cuz I’m only gonna be a MINUTE!!!”  Yessss the famous MINUTE!

Either that orrrrrrrrrrrr, this guy is training the “ol’ lady”  for 40 years from now when he drops off the scrapbookin’ Mrs. at the front door of Michaels and then gets himself and the car into  the “Quick Response” position, where like all older guys, pull to a corner of the parking lot and  then sleep in their car while he Mrs. is shopping .. only to wake up like a firefighter and speed to the front door, like they had NEVER been sleeping, when the Mrs. comes out with her arms full of glue sticks and stamps!

So hey, Sammy Scion, I realize it may take ya an extra 1.5857 minutes to park how the REST OF US HUMANS DO (who also have important things to do) but, how about squeezing that future-hobby-supply-rig IN BETWEEN some of the PARKING lines  next time, YA JAGOFF!

Pittsburgh Road Construction Jagoffs


Ok, so we all know that our roads need regular maintenance.  And before anyone gets nuts, and goes all Luke-Ravenstahl-At-The-Trib on us, YES, it is understood that road construction needs to be done.. otherwise we would be calling out the politicians for not fixing the roads.  BUT…………. Does anyone actually talk to anyone else on these construction projects other than the two people with the walkie-talkies holding the SLOW/STOP switch-a-roonie signs?

Is there some GRAND POO-BA of Road Construction?  If not, WE WANT NOMINATED!!!  What’s that old phrase about “the right hand knowing what the left hand is doing?

Vin’s Facebook post above then had THIS comment added to it:

Mary McAnallen Sure! And then lets put traffic cones up for places we think we’ll get to but may not just incase we have time to do them at a later date, thereby blocking all supply lines!

(Haaaaa.. SNORT…. HAaaaaa… pee trickle… snort.. HAAaaa)

Here’s a sample of what some of the road construction updates seem to look like these days:

I-279 North Closed and Construction on Route 19

Liberty Tubes Closed and Construction All Over Route 51

West Carson Street Closed and Construction on Route 65

Things that are open:

That one alley in Sharpsburg that goes behind where the pizza place that used to be the donuts place is.

A one-way alley in Baldwin that, gets back-ups on Monday because the one-manned-garbage truck goes through and we watch the driver get in and out at every house to throw garbage in the back.

A few country roads in the Oakdale area that, thank God, are back to NORMAL after being slicker-than-hell from being “Oiled and Chipped”

All that I know is there is a true need for a regional Road-Construction-Head-Honcho-Son-of-A-Betcha-Thought-I-Was-Gonna-Say-Something-Else position and I nominate myself for the position!

All that I ask for, in return is that every construction project be submitted to me, in an 8-part form, 18 months in advance of commencing the work, signed by at least 7 engineers, approved by THEIR bosses and a PDF of sample road signage that will be used so that I can make sure that the signage is aesthetically pleasing to the stressed driving public!

Oh yeah, and I ALSO want a universal walkie-talkie that can communicate to any sign-turner in the area so that, when I’M in traffic so I can call ahead and tell them to turn SLOW in my direction!!!

In summary, do any road construction bosses know that there are things called SCHEDULES and that there is this awesome SHARING CALENDAR system called GOOGLE CALENDAR where everyone can coordinate schedules??  Somebody PALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE call somebody to coordinate these road construction projects, YA JAGOFFS!


Order your own “Down’t Be A Jagoff” T-shirt NOW by clicking on the picture below!



Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff – Captain Wild Bill, “The Deadliest Catch”



We are yakkin’ with The Deadliest Catch’s, and Irwin, PA native, Captain Wild Bill!

(He was in Pittsburgh for an event honoring local military veterans.)

Can I be his next greenhorn on the Cape Caution?

How did he get from Pittsburgh to crabbing?

Does he eat crab?

What’s my greenhorn test?

If you don’t see the video box below, click HERE to watch the video.

Follow Captain Wild Bill on @CaptWildBill on Twitter and Facebook


For the production!

Special Thanks to Pittsburgh’s Ducky Tours (@pgh_JustDucky) for being gracious hosts!

Click the pic to find out how to get a tour.


Click photo to get your own “Don’t Be a Jagoff” T-shirt