So, I headed to the bank and actually had to go inside. It was an odd place. The best part of my journey to inside the bank is, I went during lunch hour – when I had some time to run to the bank. WOW…does everyone take lunch at the same time every day like this??? But wait, 12 people in line to do some business at the bank on their lunch hour, and, guess WHO ELSE is on their lunch hour??????? THE BANK TELLERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have used the Jagoffestrator to highlight the issue. Creating ATM machines to replace bank tellers was just as ingenious as creating EZ Pass for toll roads – ATMs and EZ Pass readers DON’T EAT LUNCH! Hey banks.. I understand the gazillion jokes about holding “banker’s hours.” On the other hand, do you not have some kind of customer survey or film from those bank-robber cameras that tells you lots of people come in….. during lunch??? And maybe you should consider a NEW more practical fee.. yes, a new fee! A, Let’s-Help-The-Tellers-Make-It-Through-Lunch-Fee. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, it would be smart use that fee to feed the bank tellers some snacks between 10-10:30am each day. Maybe like they do in kindergarten and maybe even give the tellers some “sleepy time.” Then, maybe they can actually be AT WORK when the customers need them, Ya Jagoffs!!!!
Sooooo… it’s Cinco de Mayo. Here are the top ways to be a Cinco de Mayo Jagoff!
- Make fun of the day by saying it’s named after your ex-spouse and calling it “Psycho de Mayo.”
- Calling it Cinco de MAY-yo (As if it is a day to celebrate Hellman’s). This is similar to calling the place where the Penguins play, The Con-SAWL Energy Center.
- Telling everyone at work about “the worm” in the bottom of a Tequila bottle that you SWEAR a friend ate one time and almost died.
- Buying a 12-pack of Taco Bell hard/soft tacos for the office lunch room. Those are about as authentic as a John Boehner tan.
- Using a sharpie to scratch out the O’ of of your St. Patty’s Day drinking shirt to writing an o at the end of your name to make it sound Mexican.
- Wearing your Bradshaw team jersey to the bar.
- Wearing your Bradshaw team jersey to the bar and tucking it in your jeans shorts.
- Getting drunk and telling your Mexican friends that you’re sorry that their fellow country man, “de Mayo” had to die “that way” but you like what he stood for AND you like the way that they chose to celebrate the Holiday in his honor.
So go have fun Cinco-celebrators… just remember, tomorrow at work, it’s much better to be telling the stories about the drunk idiots at the bar than to be the topic of the stories, at work, about the drunk idiot at the bar.
Happy Cinco de Mayo, Ya Jagoffs!
This week we ran a couple of contests and here are the winners.
As in all contests, all entrants names are put into a nasty, stinky, Pens Stanley Cup Champs hat (circa 2009), shuffled around and randomly selected and here are this week’s results:
The winner of the Chachi Plays contest is
He will be taking a one-hour gaming slot at the Toonseum fundraiser next weekend.
For more info on the Chachi Plays event and how to donate/participate click here.
Email us a YaJagoff At Comcast.Net for details.
The winner of the “Hang Out With the Pros” contest is
For more info on the Hang Out event and how to donate/participate go to PEMF.net.
Two comp tickets will be left at the door for you.
And, because all is good with the world, here is a random winner of a blog t-shirt.
Entry was selected from LIKES, SHARES and RETWEETS from the week.
Email us a YaJagoff At Comcast.Net with your size and mailing address.
Thanks to all for your support!