Post Labor Day Parking Jagoff Trio

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Have you ever heard of the “Peter Parker Trio?”  Nope, they were not a Doo-wop group on the last WQED membership  drive!  The photo above is a Peter Parker Trio and there’s no singing involved, except for the drivers whining about not having a parking space close enough to suit them so they took whatever damned space they wanted.

If you have no idea why we call these #PeterParkers, click here.  It’s been a while since we posted any.

The pic of the white SUV came to us from the Bethel Park area.  Seems this elderly woman didn’t find a space in front of the hair dresser she was going to so she decided to take both of the only two spots in front of this video business.  And don’t let us hear that she was going to only be a few minutes.  By the time those ladies get in there, get the color mixed correctly, have it applied, get under those huge hair-helmets and kibitz, by yelling back and forth, about how to change the world, it is a day-long EVENT!  In the meantime, who cares if anyone has to walk to the video store, right?  As long as the hairdo looks good for Labor Day… (which means she went home Friday night and wrapped that hairdo in toilet paper.)

Then ya have the SUV at the Richland WalMart….the tweet with it notes the fact that, while the SUV was in this spot, a handicapped vehicle was looking to park:

handicap van waiting to park. Jagoff taking up space on both rows.

Seriously??  This one is so blatant we didn’t even need our Jagoff-estrator to mark up the pic!  This person truly needs to live a week in a wheelchair with an infected bladder and an all bran diet… we would then block all access to all bathrooms for 23-ours of each day.

Then finally, not sure what to do with the cycle parking pic.  For one, we all know how frustrating it can get to be searching for that last parking spot, think you found it and, as you turn into it SURPRISE there’s a motorcycle tucked away in that spot.   But then, ya have THIS guy…..just takes a random NON-SPOT at Ross Park Mall.  Well, we did a little digging, it turns out this motorcycle-er has special status parking at this specific shopping location… his name is Ross Parkmal!!!!!!!  (Okay not really… we really have NO idea!)

The point.. people around our area still have no concept of parking and being considerate of other WHILE parking!  We have proposed numerous punishments including using one of our very own PeterParker notes that you can print yourself HERE.

Or even better, before taking the pic of the Peter Parker, take some chalk and write our website on the ground near the car!

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In the meantime, learn how to park people, before we take you over to Sycamore Street and have you learn how to parallel park with a manual transmission, Ya Jagoffs!!

 

Thanks to Sue Donaldson and Bryan R. from Facebook and @Evil Dan Bylsma for being our Honorary Jagoff Catchers for today’s post!

 

Bus Driver Jagoffery…Double Dutch Bus!

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Well…… so much for “professional” drivers huh?

Honestly, we could pay down the City debt, the City pension and the County pension and debt as well as build every high school foot ball and baseball team a stadium  if we simply hired police officers to stand on corners, in the Downtown area, to issue citations to everyone who causes a gridlock!  I can’t think of anything MORE FUN than to walk up to a car, bus, truck, whatever…. and hand over a paper ticket … the Gary The Gridlocker Award!!!!!

And, as PUNISHMENT for being a Gary Gridlocker, you have to eat Taco Bell, pierogies soaked in butter, 3 bran muffins and the drink a bottle of olive oil.  And as all of that starts to kick in and the culprit makes a run for the restroom… BOOM… we all get to block all of the cubicle passages and door way AND get to push all of the buttons on the elevator between the floor the culprit gets on and the floor where the farthest away restroom is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe THEN these people will understand the concept of GRIDLOCK, i.e. not getting to where you want/need to go due to some Jagoff blocking your way!

And as you all know, we always say, it only takes ONE BUS to screw up traffic!!!  Today, we have a double-dutch-bus situation.   Look, bus drivers, you already screw up traffic by stopping on green lights because someone put a bus stop near it and obeying the speed limit during rush hour because you have to stay on schedule… could you PALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE realize that you are not driving a smart car and STOP your bus BEFORE the light turns red and stay on YOUR side of the intersection giving the others the right of way, YA JAGOFFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to Bus Info Hotline (@PGHTransitHelp onTwitter) for the pic and for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!!! 

Bus Info Hotline is a nonprofit service/hotline offering a variety of transit information in and around the Pittsburgh Area.
Whilst unaffiliated with ANY Transit agency we offer transit info & assistance after most agencies close their customer service lines.

 

How Primanti’s Should Battle New Burger King FRY BURGER!

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Yesterday it hit the news!  Burger King is adding french fries to their hamburgers.    And it looks like this.  (see full story from WPXI here)

Photo courtesy of The Associated Press

Photo courtesy of The Associated Press

Now, we all know of some local restaurant that has taken liberties with their own version of fries and cole slaw on a sandwich.. calling it the Pittsburgh Sandwich, the Pittsburgher, the Yinzer and on and on and on and on and on.. (wow… just fell asleep bored writing that).  And while I don’t think that fries on the burger is really a thing about following the Primanti’s lead, I think it’s more about feeding college kids who learned, long ago, that it is AWESOME to put your fries on your burger.   Quite frankly, I think Burger King fries are some of the WORST fast food fries and I see this as a manner to use up their french fry inventory.    You don’t see McDonald’s trying to hide THEIR fries on anything!!

And while we’re at it, when is the last time you saw french fries at Burger King that looked like fresh-cut 2 x 4’s out of the lumber aisle at Lowe’s?

The Primanti’s response to the French Fry Burger was awesome… they tweeted a photo of one of THEIR sandwiches stacked so tall that UPMC almost called them to ask if they could mount letters on it.  And this was the wording on the tweet:

It’s cute that they’re trying, but here’s what a real (the original) sandwich w fries on it looks like

What if Primanti’s took the NEXT step and hired that creepy, over-sized head, currently unemployed Burger King to sell THEIR sandwiches???  Sure, it would be deja vu creepy if you saw him hanging around one of the suburban Primanti’s locations or the original store in the Strip District during normal hours.  But, after 11pm on a Friday or Saturday night, he would hardly be noticed and, might even become more revered than the Pie Man!

But let’s go YINZER and get all up in the grill of Burger King… (see what I did there.. GRILL?) cuz that’s what we do here in Pittsburgh!!

Burger King, you’re like the Avis of fast food.. trying harder but ALWAYS second to someone!!!  Get your measly-little-four-french-fry-bun-only-looks-this-good-in-advertising-photos-cause-its-usually-smashed-by-some-teenager-cook-that-hates-their-job French Fry Burger outta our house, Ya Jagoffs!