Ottawa Senators Owner – Eugene Melnyk

Well, the Penguins are facing the Ottawa Senators.  And now this whole thing of the Penguins’ Matt Cooke “purposely” using his skate to cut Senators’ Erik Karlsson’s Achilles Tendon in a weird play during the regular season is a key part of the story line. The Sens owner, Eugene Melnyk has even gone to the point of personally hiring a private investigation team to PROVE Cooke’s actions were purposeful.

But no word on Melnyk’s hiring of an investigative team for HIS player’s recent knock-out shoulder placed on the Canadiens’ Lars Keller.  And why would he?  Like Cooke’s hit, it was an unfortunate part of playing hockey!

But then…..

The other day, when it was named that it was the Pens vs. Sens in the next round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, apparently a few Pens fans started some nasty-word Tweets to the Sens owner.  So, instead of chucking it off an attributing it to a couple of outta control Pens fans… who may OR may not actually be from Pittsburgh, Eugene-the-Agitator stirs the pot a little more by tweeting the following message:

Some tweets we get from fans are profanity filled. That’s classless – it’s just a game. You are embarrassing your city, team & players.

Indeed it is a GAME!  And sometimes the players get hurt which is very unfortunate.  So bring in whatever investigative teams you need to chase Matt Cooke around town when he gets to Ottawa. Feel free to be distracted.

And, let’s make one of those City-vs.-City bets…like… when the Penguins beat the Senators, you agree to call off this Witch Hunt and, since those private investigators will need something to do, why don’t ya pay to have them come to Pittsburgh and, once and for all, solve OUR mystery of the B-25 Bomber crashing into and being secretly removed from Monongahela River. Now THAT’S good use of your INVESTIGATIVE money, Ya Jagoff!

NOTE TO EUGENE:  The word Jagoff is NOT profanity.

 

Special thanks to @Pmmalinowski for suggesting today’s blog post!!!

 

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Pens Beat The Islanders Jagoff Post

Photo Credit:wtae.com

As we have said before and, as anyone from Pittsburgh knows, the word Jagoff can be confusing to those not from here.

It’s a term of endearment when we want it to be, “Oh my God! How in the hell have you been, Ya Jagoff?”

It’s a term of astonishment to someone you love, “You scared the @#$% outta me, Ya Jagoff!”

It’s also a phrase of frustration and anger, “You should shut up, Ya Jagoff!”

Given that, let’s talk about our Pittsburgh Penguins. Seriously, it took us 6 games to beat the Islanders? Do you know how many of us had puke in the back of our throats and acid reflux over these 6 games? And do you realize how much food was wasted watching these games because because we were literally in a panic?

For me, it was like golf… tension was soooooooooooooo high that some of us couldn’t even enjoy a beer during the games.. we were guzzling Pepto Bylsma.. I mean.. Pepto Bismol!!

OK.. rant over… thanks for beating the Islanders BEFORE causing a game 7 on Mother’s Day for crissakes! It could have been ugly telling Mom that she wasn’t going to be the focus of today!

So let’s get into Ottawa, give Sergei Gonchar one of those, “How in the hell have you been, Ya Jagoff?” lines. Give the Ottawa Senators owner and part-time CSI Agent, Eugene Melnyk, “You should shut up, Ya Jagoff!” salutation. And then let’s skate like a bunch of 4-games-benched Tyler Kennedies and get out of this series in 5 games, ’cause, with that Islander’s series, “You scared the @#$% outta me, Ya Jagoffs!

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Saturday Rant – Terry Jones

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Showcasing some of Pittsburgh’s comedy talent.

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Quotes on the Bus back next week.