Gridlock From the Professionals

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Today we have a double-dutch-bus post…. LITERALLY!!!

The other day, on Twitter, I posted, “We could fund the City of Pittsburgh AND the Port Authority pensions on Gridlock fines!!!” And think of what financial shape we’d be in f they charged over sized vehicles (buses ) more!! In the cases posted above, the drivers would be funding their own pension plan through their driving Jagoffery!

What? You didn’t see the light turn yellow and you SOMEHOW inadvertently got caught in the middle of the intersection? What, you drive a Smart Car at home and forgot that you don’t have it today?

I guess bus drivers can develop driver inferiority complexes from being passed in NO PASSING zones so often! Getting passed and being thrown the finger regularly can play hell with one’s psyche , lead to inferior thoughts and then, BOOM…on the way to TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION…intermittently taking small steps like being the big , bad bully and blocking the intersection.

Hey Double-dutch buses, whom we THOUGHT were the “Professionals Drivers” in the crowd but clearly not! We know you think you’re as small as a Smart Car …..Just like my 90lb yellow lab thinks he’s a lap dog.

Learn what a yellow light means, YA JAGOFFS!

 

Thanks to @Bankermom777 and @Barb (TheBitchDesk) for being our Honorary Jagoff Catchers for today.

 

 

Yakkin With Ya Jagoff – Lou (The Oyster House)

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Another “Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff!” episode!

We are yakkin’ with Lou Grippo, owner of the famous Pittsburgh Oyster House.

At 142 years old, The Original Oyster House is Pittsburgh’s oldest bar and restaurant.

Did you know that when he was a kid, he threatened to fire the owner?

Did you know they didn’t even serve salt and pepper in the past?

What are his fav celebrity stories?

A special invite from Lou’s nephew Rick.

Click the photo above to watch if the video doesn’t appear below.

Follow the Oyster House on Twitter and Facebook 

Click the logo to see about their Sunday Hours!

(SUNDEE HAHRS in Pittsburghese)

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THANKS TO:

For the production!

 

 

 

Home Run Derby Jagoff

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Last night we had our high hopes for the Home Run Derby…

First, we wanted Pedro to show everyone he shoulda been there.  Second, we wanted Chris Berman to get laryngitis.   Neither hope worked out very well and I even made a wish by tossing money into the refurbished fountain at Point State Park!   Had I known that the costs of wishes have inflated faster than the Tooth Fairy’s standard rate, I would have been sure to toss enough coins in that thing so that it reflected the sunlight at airplanes.

Unfortunately Pedro hit like he was facing left-handers all night. And Chris Berman didn’t shut up ALL NIGHT!

If you don’t know Chris Berman… thank your lucky starts.  If you had to endure his phony excitement  on every Home Run last night, screaming like it was the  five-year-old’s FIRST home run in the bottom of the 9th, with 2 outs in the seventh game of the T-ball world series…. the hit that got the entire team Fifty-Cents more than the OTHER team at the refreshment stand… then we are sooooooooooooooooooo sorry.

Every almost-home-run AND home run… the same yelling and excitement… “back, back, back….” clucking like a chicken stuff.

Hey Chris…just in case you didn’t know…. this was a Home RundDerby… which means they’re ALL s’posed to be home runs, no big surprise….so SHUT THEEEEEEE HELL UP, Ya Jagoff!!

 

NOTE: Not sure about you but I was ready to ask for Cris Collinsworth to come in and do the announcing.  (O.K. maybe not THAT desperate!)