Quotes On The Bus

YJ-QuotesOnTheBus3

Every Saturday this spot is dedicated to things overheard on one of the Port Authority buses of Allegheny County.  Thanks to the AWESOME Michael Nac, creator of QUOTES ON THE BUS for his posts each week!

“Dude, I’m gonna pee sitting down, all weekend. That’s how lazy I want to be.” Male Passenger, Red Line

Follow Quotes on the Bus on Facebook HERE and/or Twitter HERE

If you want to contribute your own quote overheard on a bus, send to michaelcnac@gmail.com

Punxsutawney Phil – Sayin’ What Needs To Be Said!

Yep.  I did it.  It seemed too easy but it HAD TO BE DONE!

I know it’s Pittsburgh not Charlotte and not Orlando.  But on February 2, 2013, Punxsutawney Phil and his band of cult-like merry men of the secret society of Punxsutawney-isms said it was gonna be an early Spring!

It’s now 4 weeks into the “6 weeks” and we’ve had snow, rain, sleet and freezing rain with not much of an end in sight!!

Sure, I know that Phil doesn’t really predict the weather but…. once again, I got fooled by that whole “early spring” thing  just like when my uncle would pretend to pull a coin out from behind my ear (when I was in my 20′s).

Ok Phil-ma-boy, everyone’s thinking it but I’m gonna say it!!  The ONLY reason we haven’t shown up at yer house and trashed it like we were a bunch of Pitt students at a G-20 Summit is cuz gas prices are through the roof.  How about you get yourself one of those “Certified Meteorologist” thingies like our buddy Scott Harbaugh!!  He says they grade on a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge curve!!!

What’s yer next prediction, “Pittsburgh Pirates Advance to First Round of MLB Playoffs” Ya Jagoff?????

 

You can get FREE “Jagoff” ring tones and phone screensaver.

Click the pic and see how to download it for free!

 

Public Restroom Jagoffs – Comedian Greg Parks

Time for a ”guest blog” 

as we give some Pittsburgh Comedians a chance to express themselves!

By Greg Parks (Pittsburgh Comedian)

We have become so lazy that we no longer even do the simple things. Perhaps I really mean the decent thing. I speak of today’s modern bathrooms that are being used in businesses around the country. The new technology being used in the toilet, sink and hand drying, is leading to a new generation of lazy, inconsiderate people.

Have you noticed that a bathroom that does not have the new technology you are often greeted by a yellow puddle in the urinal, or a poop blanket party in the toilet? My friends, if you do not hear a swoosh sound; chances are that YOU may have to actually flush the potty yourself. Here is another clue for you. If the sink has handles on either side of the spigot, the water will not turn on no matter how long you hold your hands under it. YOU must actually turn it on, and knowing your luck with the ladies, this may not happen.

There is a similar process with the soap. There are times when YOU actually need to press the dispenser to get soap on your hands.

Finally, there are things called paper towels, and yes, sometimes you have to turn a handle or push a bar for them to come out. Shaking your wet hands to dry them off, and spraying me with dirty water, is poor form. While we are on the subject of hand dryers, just a warning to the great unwashed, everyone in the place can hear them blowing, so everyone knows if you actually washed your hands.

It would be nice if you would exert at least the same amount of energy you use taking a dump, to cleaning up after yourself. Ya jagoff!!

You can follow Greg Parks on Twitter and his own blog HERE

Also follow the website Pittsburgh Comedy to see when he and other comedians will be performing live. 

 

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