Public Restroom Jagoffs – Comedian Greg Parks

Time for a ”guest blog” 

as we give some Pittsburgh Comedians a chance to express themselves!

By Greg Parks (Pittsburgh Comedian)

We have become so lazy that we no longer even do the simple things. Perhaps I really mean the decent thing. I speak of today’s modern bathrooms that are being used in businesses around the country. The new technology being used in the toilet, sink and hand drying, is leading to a new generation of lazy, inconsiderate people.

Have you noticed that a bathroom that does not have the new technology you are often greeted by a yellow puddle in the urinal, or a poop blanket party in the toilet? My friends, if you do not hear a swoosh sound; chances are that YOU may have to actually flush the potty yourself. Here is another clue for you. If the sink has handles on either side of the spigot, the water will not turn on no matter how long you hold your hands under it. YOU must actually turn it on, and knowing your luck with the ladies, this may not happen.

There is a similar process with the soap. There are times when YOU actually need to press the dispenser to get soap on your hands.

Finally, there are things called paper towels, and yes, sometimes you have to turn a handle or push a bar for them to come out. Shaking your wet hands to dry them off, and spraying me with dirty water, is poor form. While we are on the subject of hand dryers, just a warning to the great unwashed, everyone in the place can hear them blowing, so everyone knows if you actually washed your hands.

It would be nice if you would exert at least the same amount of energy you use taking a dump, to cleaning up after yourself. Ya jagoff!!

You can follow Greg Parks on Twitter and his own blog HERE

Also follow the website Pittsburgh Comedy to see when he and other comedians will be performing live. 

 

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Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff – Gateway Clipper Captain Brian Krug

Welcome to our weekly “Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff!” segment.

We’re yakkin’ with 25-year Gateway Clipper Fleet Captain, Brian Krug

25 years of doing what?

What are the coolest things he sees going around the city?

Facebook follower, Mark Molinaro’s question.. what’s the craziest thing he’s seen in the river?

Does he have is own boat?

Does he know the Shirley Temple song, “The Goodship Lollipop?”

Click the pic to get to the Gateway Clipper website.

THANKS TO:

For the production!

Don’t forget to subscribe to our Ya Jagoff  YouTube Channel.

If you need to get caught up, here are some previous episodes (Click the Pics to watch)

 

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Sooooo…Hope Ya Have Your Skinny Jeans On!

YJ-Jaylene

 

Unless Mr. Pipecleaner parked the car on the right, we’re thinking the driver of the car on the left needs to be reminded that those white painted thingies on the surface of the parking are more than just parallel line segments created by the local middle school kids on a recent ”geometry-in-action” field trip. (As a geometry refresher, they would be called ”rays” if they had arrows on one end.)

Oh wait.. maybe the driver on the right is a living, breathing COAT HANGER and parked AFTER the driver on the left and had no problemo getting out of their car!!!!

What one MIGHT do in this situation is CONSIDER denting the van door with a hefty kick of the heel of a work boot.  But that would make YOU a jagoff too.

So here is our alternative: we would take a picture of the car as was done here.  We would email the photo to us THEN  we would leave one of our parking notes (see below) ON the car letting the driver know that they were about to be FAMOUS!!!

See that?  We are better than a blood pressure pill!!!

Hey Slim-Jim (haaaaa like that one??)…. seriously?  You’re parked soooo close to the car on the right that, if your car was a dog, we’d be throwing cold water on it!  After you parked, were you actually able to reach out your passenger side window and grab the loose change outta the car on the right?

Thanks to your head-up-your-ARSE parking method, unless the driver has their skinny jeans on, with 2 pair of SPANX underneath, has been on a hunger strike for the last 1,201 days and is the new Transformer character named “Hanger,” ain’t NOBODY getting in that car on the right, Ya Jagoff!!!

 Thanks to Instagram Follower, @Jaylena321 , for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!

Click the pic below to print of your very own Ya Jagoff Parking Tags.