The Neighborhood HONKING Jagoff!

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Got this story about one of those lazy-freaks that can’t get outta their car so they honk incessantly…

Check this out, its 9PM tonight, just put the kids down for the night and they have school tomorrow. I’m in the process of attempting to unwind when I hear urgent incessant honking from outside. Not one tap, not two, but for 15 minutes, over and over and over again.

I finally get out to the porch and there’s a cream colored Quaker State Chrysler PT Cruiser vehicle out there with someone waiting and trying to get a neighbor’s attention. Here’s what dumbfounded me, her face is lit up in the darkened car because she’s got a CELLPHONE!

She couldn’t figure out that maybe she could’ve called, or gasp, walked up to the door?!?!

She said she was ”dropping off some keys”. Jagoff was keepin’ it classy, for sure.

There are veterans that have no legs or FAKE LEGS that have more energy than you. You have a $400 phone that you can even use as a $100, 1992 text pager!!!  Get the “Soapword” outta the car and knock on a damned door, Ya Jagoff!!!

 

Thanks to Jun Z. for being the Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.  Be sure to send us your Jagoff stories to post.

“That Shoeless Guy” (or Girl) On The Airplane

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Seriously????  When did plane rides become so casual and all about “me.”  Do these people NOT get any “me” time at home?

What is it with people thinking it’s OK to get on a flight, that lasts and hour and forty-five minutes, and get comfy like their in their own living room….shoes off, socks off, blanket, neck-pillow thingy?

(By the way, those neck-pillow thingies look really silly on you when you keep them on walking to the airplane bathroom.  Ya look like you’re wearing a head-only life preserver in the event you get sucked into the blue water!)

But seriously, you can’t go two hours without kicking off your shoes?  Do ya have a Fireplace App on your phone that you can run and maybe some wood-burning-scented hand cream that you can bring out too??

I think I have to find another way to travel other than flying!!

But, then again, I would miss sitting in the middle seat of an airplane pinned between someone who feels that they are in their own living room and has to take off their shoes and someone who requested a window and has to get up an pee 3 time an hour!!

Keep your shoes on… you’re on an airplane not at home on your iced-tea-stained-potatochips-and-pretzels-and-poptart-crumb-between-the-cushions couch, Ya Jagoff!!

Grandma Lectures Robbers

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This is an awesome story about two Jagoffs!

The lady in the pic is Margie.  She lives in Jeanette, PA.  She was cooking some dinner and heard a crash… turns out, to guys broke through her window air conditioner.

My air conditioner was kicked through the window, and two guys were jumping through my window all dressed in black with guns,” she said. “I said, ‘What the hell are you guys doing here?’ They proceeded to tell me I had a safe, they wanted the money, they wanted the jewels I had and they’re waving a gun in my face.”Margie said instead of complying with their demands immediately, she told them what they were doing was wrong.”I’m just fed up with being taken advantage of and seniors being taken advantage of, and I started lecturing them like I do my son,” she said. “I think they were a little shocked.”After a few minutes, Margie said one of the suspects pointed a gun at her head. Police later discovered it was an Airsoft gun.

Read more on WTAE.com

This is one of those events that turns out funny but really could have been a lot worse.  Margie was so fed up with these guys that she just gave them a good ol’ fashioned scolding.

Yes boys… smile for a mug shot!  You just go lectured by a grandma in you ninja suits, with your airsoft gun for trying to take stuff that you didn’t earn!

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Look at these two guys…. right out of Central Casting for Home Alone Sequel #31.

Oh, and what made it so easy to catch you?  Sitting in a car a few blocks away from the house… brilliant boys!

Gotta tell ya, you grandma-robbers are lucky she didn’t pull out a paddle with holes in it and also give them a good ol’ fashioned ass-whooping… Sister Anecita Catholic Grade School style.  And as she would say, “That’ll wipe that smile right off of your faces,” Ya Jagoffs!!