Dec 20 2013
Peter Piper picked a plethora of Peter Parkers parked poorly probably pissing-off other parker people and a puppy. Yeah.. I just did that!! (Did that just become an irritating ear worm for you?)
I was going to do a catchy Robin Thicke “Blurred Lines” thingy for these Peter Parkers but, thought you might be getting tired of that song by now. (You know you want it… ya know ya want it!)
Catching “Peter Parkers” continues to spill across Pittsburgh lines. The pick-up pic is from Honolulu. One is from Scranton, PA (home of Dunder Mifflin town). And one is from the Steubenville, OH area!! We are spreading the good word but just can’t seem to get Peter Parkers to park perfectly!!!!
(You know you want it… ya know ya want it!) Yep.. that’s now stuck!
So, we ask you, do we have too stringent of rules on which we judge?
Our evaluation tools for “good parking are:”
- The car is touching the asphalt – CHECK
- All four wheels are in the same parking lot – CHECK
- The sunroof isn’t touching the ground! CHECK
- Common Courtesy FAIL!
For the KIA Soul driver with the open door like a SWAT team morning read, in your defense, I guess there WAS probably that I-need-to-get-the-very-last-Malibu-Barbie-Dreamhouse-with-working-elevator-live-Ken-sized-Christmas-tree-with-battery-operated-lights-and-train-and-real-mortgage-papers-which-registers-your-kid-up-for-a-$100K-balloon-payment-due-at-age-21.
In previous ”Parking Jagoff” posts, we have offered NUMEROUS solutions to helping people be less IG’nernt with their parking. Our favorite solution is, hire some of the guys, that manage those parking lots during sporting events, to work at these lots….those guys that charge $45 CASH for every spot you take whether or not it has a 4-foot hole full of broken glass?
At $45 per spot, we guarantee that will teach ”Peter Parkers“ how to take up ONLY one spot because, at THAT rate, EVERYONE figures out how to squeeze their Winnebago-with-an-attached-fresh-pig-on-a-spit-trailer into a spot the size of a Smart Car,
Learn how to park, Ya Jagoffs, Ya Jagoffs, Ya Jagoffs, Ya Jagoffs! (get it? 4 of em) (You know you want it… ya know ya want it!) Yep.. you hate me now!
And don’t for get the CHALK CHALLENGE!
The next time you see a Peter Parker, write YaJagoff.com on the ground near the car and THEN take the picture.