Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff! – Audrey Russo, Pittsburgh Tech Council CEO

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Another “Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff!” episode!

We are yakkin’ with Audrey Russo, President of the Pittsburgh Technology Council.

Is she technology dependent?

Does she get asked by her neighbors to fix their computers?

Does she yell at her computer like we all do?

What does high-tech biz mean to the region?

Click the photo above to watch if the video doesn’t appear below.

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How To Get A Guy To Watch The Royal Birth Coverage

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Something a little different today……

Approximately 2 billion people watched Kate Middleton marry Prince William on TV.  For perspective, 130 million people typically watch the NFL Superbowl.

Maybe a little less, but still a global majority, have been glued to TV, Facebook and Twitter awaiting the results of the Royal Birth.   My guess…. most of those were female.  A small percentage of them were senior citizen men, married greater than 45 years, who sat with their wives and PRETENDED that cared, but were secretly sleeping.  (Like they pretend to enjoy going to the grocery store and end up in the parking lot sleeping in the car.)

Here are my thoughts on how to increase the number of males interested in the Royal Birth:

Start a “Royal Uncle” Fantasy League – choose the best 8 male celebrities who you believe will be sober, bathed, shaved and available to be in London the next 3 months.

Coordinate betting on the chances that one of the groomsman, from when Kate and William  got married,  shows up to hold the baby, for the first time, with one of the Royal bachelor party strippers AS HIS FIANCE.

Full Screen ThongCam –  following Kate’s sister, Aunt Pippa, around the hospital….

Name the baby Big Ben and NOT after the iconic clock! From Jay McCullough

They plan to name the kid after a food item, like Nachos or Pizza or Beer Heather Thompson

Highlights of sideline cheerleaders and large-bellied, drunk, hairy men, lining the roads outside the hospital, that have their naked torso’s painted with “GOOD LUCK and GOD BLESS Baby Prince.”

Have all female viewers make the SLIGHTEST hint, that “Special Favors” could be available that evening if her man watches the Royal Birth coverage with her (picture Pavlov’s dog here watching the baby coverage because the dog doesn’t know she’s really lying.)  From Mary Fran Coulter

Fart monitors in the hospital maternity ward waiting room chairs and a GoPro camera mounted in the corner…..all seats wired with sensors that immediately trigger an on-screen, green-cloud graphic over the head of anyone in the waiting room that passes Royal gas.  Then take bets on “Who ate it?”

Now THAT’s how you get a guy to be interested in the Royal Baby Coverage, Ya Jagoffs!

 

What are your suggestions on making the Royal Baby reporting  “guy friendly?”  Comment below.

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Cincy Reds Announcer Says Jeff Locke Sucks – Live Mic!

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OK… if you’re gonna jump on the Pirates’ bandwagon, ya have to stick up for them when someone makes an attack!   So let’s become the band of brothers.. or… at least a band of racing pierogies.

During yesterday’s Cincy/Pirates’s game, Reds announcer, Thom Brennaman, whose dad is a Hall of Fame announcer, says “This guy sucks!” over an open mic when referring to Pirate’s pitcher, Jeff Locke who, by the way, beat the Reds!  You can see the video on a website called Awful Announcer, here.

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So far, no phony apology has been issued and we don’t expect one.  And also no word, from his dad, on whether he was going to pull the short-hairs of his neck and soap his mouth when he got home.

We fully anticipate that he will produce a statement stating that, when he said that, he was talking to his broadcast partner about his hair stylist … which is plausible because , as is apparent from the pic above, he/she still lives in the 70’s and DOES suck!!!  Oh well, between beaned batters and this, finding a way to really rank Cincy up there with Philly when it comes to class in sports.  I still won’t talk bad about the 3-way Skyline Chili!!

Hey Tom.. notice we wrote TOM vs. THOM which could easily be misinterpreted as THONG.. which is something that covers the part of the body that you seem to TALK OUT OF…  we just opened a new Jagoffds non-credit course at CCAC.  You might want to enroll .  It’s called  “I Have No Idea Why Nobody Can Figure This Out But  Always Assume A Hot Mic So Don’t Say Anything Stupid And Don’t Tweet Pictures of Your Junk Unless It’s a Picture of Your Nasty Garage 201,” Ya Jagoff!

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Thanks to these Twitter Followers @mikevukkdka@TheNotoriousJWT  and @TheKennyM  for sending over the  Thom Brennaman video  link within .o248921 seconds of asking for it last night!