Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff! – Bryan and Mike (The Cell Helmet Guys)

Welcome to our weekly “Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff!” segment.

We’re yakkin’ with Bryan McHenry and Mike Kane of Cell Helmet Fame!

(They’re gonna be on ABC’s Shark Tank this Friday night, 9pm!)

What in theeeee hell is a Cell Helmet?

What was the result of the Shark Tank show?

How did the company start?

What was the result of the Shark Tank show?

Is it true that Mark Cuban made his BILLIONS from Cuban Cigars?

What was the result of the Shark Tank show?

You are all welcome to attend the viewing party this Friday night.

Pizza and wings and BEER!!!!  OH MY!!!!

Rick’s Sports Bar & Grill in Murrysville (click the logo for directions)

Click here for the Cellhelmet Website

THANKS TO:

For the production!

Don’t forget to subscribe to our Ya Jagoff  YouTube Channel.

If you need to get caught up, here are some previous episodes (Click the Pics to watch)

 

Parking Jagoffs From Perth to Pittsburgh!

 

While the “Head-up-your-arse“ parking issues continue here in Pittsburgh, it is great to know that we are not alone!!  We call these people “Peter Parkers.

The photo at the very top comes to us aaaaaaaaaall the way from Perth, Australia.. via a Perth-based-Pittsburgh-fan.  And the second photo comes from the Cranberry area, which takes about as long to get to as Perth, from Downtown Pittsburgh, during the evening rush hour and more than 14-19 snowflakes fall on Interstate 279.

So in the top photo, our Aussie friend seems to have found a person that is under the impression that their TRUCK is a SMALL CAR!  Since it was not apparent to this driver that the wall clearly “Small Cars Only,” we chose to highlight it with our Jagoff-estrator technology. Gawd knows, those dark letters on a light wall are pretty hard to see.

We think this driver needs to get an appointment with our favorite optometrist, Dr. I. Lidd, for one of those tests on the machine they put up against your face then mess with your mind by sliding all the lenses in front of your eyes at a rapid fire pace and asking, “Which way is better? This way? Or THIS way? Number 1 or Number 2?

Then the Cranberry Character…. just in case the issue is as unclear to YOU as it was to this driver.. we pointed out his “Trifecta of Jagoffery,” once again, with the Jagoff-estrator.

Hey Mr. Down-unda, otherwise known as Mr. I-don’t-really-Four-wheel-As-a-matter-of-fact-I-hate-it-when-my-shiny-truck-even-gets-a-little-bit-dirty-But-I-bought-it-to-overcompensate-for-OTHER-small-things-in-my-life, no fair considering your kids’ Hot Wheels toy cars, that are jammed underneath your seat, as a reason to park in that spot, Ya Wanker!!! (Australian term = to Jagoff!)

And Cranberry Character, those lines underneath your car are supposed to be a point of reference… and we don’t mean as a CENTERING LINE like 747!

Put your car in ONE SPACE unless your a stepladder sales rep and had to leave room for unloading your 10, 12 and 18 foot step ladder samples, Ya Jagoff!!! (Pittsburgh term  = to Jagoff)

 

Thanks to @Beaup33p From Australia and @Patrick D for being our Honorary Jagoff Catchers. 

Patrick D just happens to be the Editor for the The BroCouncil Website . Check ‘em aht!

Get your hoodie!

Click the pic to see how to order yours!!!

 

Organ Burglars – (Not The Kidney In The Bathtub Urban Legend But Close)

Yep… an entire 150+plus pipe, 10-foot tall pipe organ… GONE!!!

(For reference, the thing was probably about as heaving as a whole Gullifty’s chocolate cake.)

This story causes us to pose the rhetorical question, “If a pipe organ gets stolen in the middle of the neighborhood, AND NOBODY HEARS IT GETTING STOLEN, is it STILL stolen?”

This story came up on the radar Friday.  Too late for publishing on our blog since we use the “Antiquated Catholic Grade School Mimeograph” APP to publish our blog and it takes us a while turn stories around! (The mimeograph machine APP is handy, but we still miss the SMELL of the ink of the REAL THING!)

In case you are unaware, a janitor in a closed Mount Washington Church, the other day, discovered that the pipe organ was missing.  As you would see in the KDKA-TV story by Ralph Ianotti , the thing was also on a 2nd floor balcony!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I know is that, I want to move to that neighborhood because it is CLEARLY the best Pittsburgh neighborhood for SOUND SLEEP!!

Seriously, how sound do the neighbors sleep that not a soul heard or saw ANYTHING for the entire time that it took these burglars to dismantle that thing, carry out down from the second floor, load it QUIETLY into a truck and haul away thousands of pounds of pipe-organ?

So many parodies, so little blogging space. (Hey, pssssst, over here, pssssst, pipe-organ parts, only fie-dolla!”)

By the way, there is no evidence, YET, that the tire tracks found at the scene are from a Haddad’s On-Site Snack Truck that stopped by for the thieves’ mid-evening smoke break!

Hey, organ-burglars …. turn yourself in!!!!!  We will represent you!!  We have a plea bargain that not even Jim Ecker would think of.

First, tell everyone you are demolition experts.  Use the Saint Justin Catholic Church pipe organ example as your resume.  Then, tell the Allegheny County and Pittsburgh politicians how you could have saved all those Civic Arena legal costs if they would have just hired you guys for one night, to STEAL THE CIVIC ARENA!!!! (All the hysterical-historical-protesters “It was just there YESTERDAY!!!)

Now the ONE problem you guys DO have against ya… What in THEEEEEEEE HELL do you do with thousands-pounds-of-pipe-organ  now that this has made the news?

It’s gonna be a little hard to hide those pipes in your pants on the way to the scrap yards and pawnshops, YA JAGOFFS!!!!

 

CLICK HERE FOR PREVIOUS STORY ABOUT CRAZY OLD GOAT THAT WANTED TO MOVE THE CIVIC ARENA!