Porta-Beer STEALIN’ Jagoffs!!! Need Your Help

PBDrumGuide

If you don’t know what the PortaBeer is… you’re missing some good Pittsburgh entrepreneurs and beer-consuming buds!  

The other day at Stage AE, some Jagoffery took place … someone stole one of the PortaBeer units.  

Here’s the blog post from Albert, one of the owners.

On Friday, July 26th at approximately 10pm, up to four draft beer lovers successfully executed a brilliant heist at the inaugural Pittsburgh Beerfest at Stage AE, stealing a black PortaDraft from the heavily guarded venue. How? They convinced the security detail working that night that the PortaDraft WAS NOT an ultra-portable dispenser of draft beer awesome, but rather a drum that had been used by the live band playing the excellent Green Day covers. In addition to our system, they successfully made off with a not-yet-empty keg of Yuengling Traditional Lager.

Our reactions:

  1. Bravo. We couldn’t have pulled something like that off.
  2. We want to meet whoever did it. Seriously. If you’re so committed to draft beer that you’re able to sell to security what we would have assumed to be a unbelievable story, we’d like to shake your hand (though we probably won’t leave our cell phones around you unattended, no offense).
  3. We’d like to trade. You see, this is one of the units we use at events, so it is a little beat up. Plus, it’s one of our first units, so there’s some sentimental value. We’ll trade a brand new unit with the one that was stolen. That way, the folks who stole it still get to tell a great story, and we get our unit back.

How can you help?

Tell everyone you can about our story. Share our PortaDraft911 poster on Facebook and Twitter (use hashtag #PortaDraft911), send us tips atPortaDraft911@PortaBeer.com, call the hotline at 855-PortaBeer (767-8223) x804, or download and print your very own poster here. Unless you stole it, which, in that case, use any of those methods to ‘fess up.

What’s in it for you?

When we get the PortaDraft back, we’re having a party and you’re invited. We’ll pour some great local brews and have a great time and celebrate both the return of a cherished PortaDraft and the redemption of some seriously slick draft beer drinkers. What could be better?

Are we calling the cops?

No. Unless you steal our cell phones. Then it’s war.

== Albert

 

OUR NOTE: Sooooooooo if you go to a party and some dudes have a really cool beer dispenser and, when you ask them in pure Pittsburgh english, “Where’d you get that AT?” they start to sweat… stand on a table, point at them and say, “YOU STOLE THAT YA JAGOFFS!”

 

Here is an artist’s rendering (a pic from his iPhone cuz he’s now up on technology) of the stolen item.

Click it to go to the PortaBeer website.

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In Support of PA Turnpike Rate Hikes

YJ-TurnpikeMerge

 

We received this photo just in time!!!!

Yesterday the news was that the Turnpike Tolls are going to increase as of January, 1, 2014.

Usually we would say, “Hell no!” to something like that. But…..

We support the hike so that we can have access to drive on one of the worst roads to drive on in the rain that ALSO has some of the worst night-time markings of any other road ANYWHERE. We also support the raise in rates so that the Turnpike Commission can have plenty of money to put toward its legal bills regarding the former administration’s accusations of favoritism and kickbacks.

And who WOULDN’T want to pay more for the courteous service one gets at the toll booths!!! Oh wait, and the rate hike is DEFINITELY worth it when you think of the time you get to wait behind some Jagoff that doesn’t want to wait in the looooooooooooooong line to pay their toll and then scoots over into the EZ Pass lane and then beeps their horn in “Oh CRAP I didn’t realize this was an EZ Pass ONLY lane can you please let me through” fashion as they wait for an attendant to assist them WITHOUT ANY TYPE OF FINE!!!

And even more.. Turnpike-ites… we support your rate hike so that you can hire sign-putter-outter PROOF READERS, so that people don’t find pictures like the one above, Ya Jagoffs!

Thanks to @steelCityVoice on Twitter for this pic above that was taken near the Butler Exchange!

Please click the SHARE buttons below!

The Parking Lot “Scatter Drill”

YJ-BumperCars

 

You’ve been there… after a hockey game, after a Steelers game, Pitt Game, Pirates game and even after church!

ESPECIALLY church!!  All of those nice, sweet ol’ people that just said an hour of prayers… they get in their cars and become CRAZEEEEEEEEE Jagoffs as they try to beat each other to the last open table for post-church brunch at Eat n Park !

And after a big sports event.. everyone thinks they have the “special short cut” that allows them to get 2 cars FURTHER AHEAD than if they would have simply gotten in the line, like everyone else, as they pulled out of their parking spot.  Nope.. they have to zig-zag between cars and and make their OWN lanes!!!

Of course, sometimes there IS that driver that FORCES other drivers to make their own lane as they sit and sit and sit and sit….. while they let, what seems to be, the entire Steelers Fan Base in front of them because they are afraid to edge their car forward!

This ain’t Kennywood BUMPER CARS!  Some of you probably STILL don’t know how to back up… (HINT: it’s NOT by turning the steering wheel all the way to the RIGHT!)

Anyone ever heard of patience… taking your turn… or COURTESY, Ya Jagoffs??????

Thanks to @brookePGH from Twitter for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!