Halloween Jagoffs

YJ-Halloween

Before I start, remember that kid Halloween gag:

Tell someone to hold their tongue and say, “My dad sells SHIPS down at the SHIP yard.”

Gather yer pillow cases, its time for trick-or-treating!!! A list of Halloween Jags is below. But here are some Halloween traditions from my kid days that I am glad are gone!

Bobbing for Apples
Just what I wanna do… dunk my open mouth into a tub of warm water that’s been tainted with Halloween make-up, human spit and hair grease from the nine people at the party that weren’t creative enough to think up a better costume than the standard GREASER outfit with cuffed blue jeans and a white t-shirt with rolled up sleeves.  Besides, who in the “SOAPWORD” wants an apple on Halloween? I want SNICKERS AND SMARTIES!

Hint to Halloween gag above “My dad thells THITS down at the THIT yard.”

Plastic molded masks with elastic string:
The eye holes were NEVER big enough. I had to push the mask up against the bottom of my chin to line up the eye holes so I could navigate the neighborhood steps. And when I did that, all the mouth-spit and condensation, that built up on the inside of my mask, smeared all over my face.  Then, it never failed, halfway through trick-or-treating, the stupid elastic string would BREAK right at that little staple on the side. Then my dad would try and tie the elastic string to itself IN THE DARK!

One-Size-Fits-All Pull-On Costumes:
The same costumes that came with those stupid plastic masks. You pulled them on over your legs, up over your body and tied a string behind your neck. The legs of these things were WAY too long so my mother rolled them up (cuz that’s what Batman REALLY looks like, right?) Every time my heels caught on the leg cuff walking up steps, I’d CHOKE myself!

And finally, to those 18-year olds who are still trick-or-treating, to those 15-16 year olds that only put on one of those tuxedo t-shirts or your high school football team uniform as a costume.. some go ALL out and put on the black-ey stuff, to those moms who carry a 10-month old baby around in a costume (who looks really cute) but collect a queen-sized pillowcase full of candy “for the little guy,” to those parents who let your daughters and sons dress up like hookers and pimps and to those people who pile in cars and drive around to 4 different neighborhoods got get more candy… you’re spoiling the fun…stay home and leave the trick-or-treating to the little kids, Ya Jagoffs!!!

**By the way, whomever is watching you read this is wondering what you’re doin’ holding your tongue, mumbling the words “My dad thells THITS down at the THIT yard” and giggling.

 

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Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff – Randy-land Pittsburgh

Photo Credit Shabby-maggie.blogspot.com

Michael Henninger/Post-Gazette

Today’s Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff Episode

We are yakkin with Randy Gilson of “Randyland” which is an AWESOME little place nestled in the Mexican War Streets.  He’s even been on the NBC Today Show.  His house AND him, might be the most painted things in Pittsburgh.

Make sure you stop by “Randyland” in the Pittsburgh Mexican War Street Section.

The corner of Jacksonia and Arch Streets

Special Thanks to Josh and Harry for being Ya Jagoff Extras!

THANKS TO:

For the production!

Don’t forget to subscribe to our Ya Jagoff  YouTube Channel.

 

 

US Airways Jagoffs and Hawaii Video

YJ-USAirways

 

Soooooo spent a few days in Hawaii last week.  It was great timing since an early cold-weather-rain-kind-of-sleet-kind-of thing hit Pittsburgh while I was in 86 degree weather!  It was great!  I was given the opportunity to speak at the 2013 Hawaii Social Media Summit .. talking about the blog!

Everyone was fantastic.. the Aloha Spirit was everywhere… EXCEPT for at the US Airways check-in counter at 10pm on a Saturday night.

NOTE: The staff were doing their best.. the bad news is there was not enough of them!

I arrive at the airport around 8:30pm to check in for a 10:50 flight.

Lots of people in line.

4.. yes FOUR check-in kiosks.

Oh wait, did I say that there were 2 US Airways flights checking in at the same time?

There were 2 separate, full, 757 flights departing within 20 minutes of each other and all of us were in line together to use the FOUR kiosks and be assisted by the THREE staff members.

Did everyone know how to use the kiosks?  NO!

Did one of the kiosks break while approximately 700 passengers were trying to check in on the FOUR kiosks?  YEPPIR! (Noted by the Jagoff-estrator graphics in the pic above)

Did one of the 3 staff members have to divert her attention to the broken kiosk vs. assisting customers who didn’t know how to work the kiosks?  Yeppir.. (but tough call for her make under serious pressure)

It took almost an hour to get myself to a kiosk and there were still people behind me.

So, not only were customers distressed over having to stand in line for, what seemed to be, the same length of time as it takes to actually FLY to Phoenix… but some customers were distressed over how to use the check-in kiosk.   Keep in mind, these are the same people that struggle over scanning celery at the grocery store self check-out line and you think it’s OK to leave them alone while they try to type in their name, choose how many bags they’re carrying and make a choice on whether or not they want to buy more LEG ROOM???

Did you not expect all of us that night?  Was this some kind of random #HeyLetsAllSuddenlyFlyToPhoenixAtTenO’ClockTonight Tweetup or Orbitz flash mob??

And…you do know there are these thing-a-ma-jiggers called computers where you can look up these thingies called RESERVATIONS, right?  They actually tell you how many might be coming to the airport at a certain time!!  Crazy stuff, huh??

Hey US Airways, otherwise known as “Let’s Make As Many People As Miserable As We Can Airlines,” I’m actually shocked that you didn’t have your staff of 3 doing even MORE things…. like handing out those hugely profitable US Airways Credit Card Applications, riding unicycles or juggling 3 bowling balls while eating an apple because they didn’t have nearly enough to do while 700+ people were trying to get home, Ya Jagoffs!

Watch the video from the Summit after-party: