A New Twist To a “Peter Parker”

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It’s been a while since we’ve posted a unique “Peter Parker.”  Don’t know what we mean by “Peter Parker”, go here.

This pic was taken on Smallman Street in the Strip District and, it may not be what you think it is.  We sent out our SJU (Special Jagoff Unit) investigators to look into this.  They seemed to indicate that, in the words of Curly from the Three Stooges, this driver is a “victim of soy-cim-stances.

And while this story seems to be far fetched, here’s what REALLY happened.  This very responsible utility truck parked in the Strip District.  And, like seems to happen all too frequently these days, landscapers came and installed a curb, mulch and a Guest Parking sign, right underneath the truck while it was innocently sitting there.  And to top it all, they didn’t even install all of that straight, so it looks like the driver of the truck didn’t know how to park.

And if, they scratched the truck by installing the signage too close to the truck, there will be hell to pay, I assure you.

By the way, utility truck driver, you should probably work on getting a few more jobs. Nobody in construction, that is actually working, has that clean of a truck.  Are you just carrying rows of tubes and utility boxes on a vehicle to look , cool!

And to the ig’nernt people that sneaked in and installed the random landscaping under this truck to make the driver look bad, please come to my house.  I don’t care if you install things crooked or not.

In the meantime, hey Pittsburgh…… can we pallllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze learn how to park or, at the very least, park so we’re not ruining someone else’s stuff?  For some reason, you can jam a Winnebago into space too small for a min-cooper at a Steelers parking lot tail gate but, the local store or hotel parking lot, we get more outta control than a drunk Jeff Reed fist.  Learn how to park Ya Jagoffs!

Thanks to @PapaSendro412 for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.

Download your own copies of our Jagoff Parking notes here.

 

Guy and Date Steal Fire Truck for Joy Ride

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So when you read, “Guy and date steal fire truck for joy ride,” how old where you thinking the age of “guy” was… 16? 19? College fraternity-stunt age? How about 46 years old!

Randy Davidson, 46, is accused of stealing the keys to the fire department rescue truck and taking the vehicle on a 30-minute joyride with a female friend last week.

This story was initially filed by our Jagoff-catching buddy and un-official Beaver County Jagoffery Bureau Chief, Kristen Doerschner.  Her link at the Times On Line is blocked behind a subscription thingy but here’s the KDKA-TV story.

So Randy sneaks into the fire department late at night, knows where the keys are and heads out for a little jaunt in the fire vehicle with his honey-boney.  No word on her age but clearly, since she didn’t stop Randy from this bad decision, her I.Q is about the same as his.

I’m guessing that most of the high-end flea markets were closed at that hour so grabbing a fire truck was the next most exciting thing to do that night.  I wonder if he put the windows down, leaned into the center for a low ride and BLASTED the bass on the emergency dispatch radio to look REALLY cool.

Check me aht babe!  I’m dope as a Fahr Chief boy! Whoop! Whoop! (then he fist pumps her) as he makes fake siren noises driving down the road.

Then they get all crazy into a domination thing and the starts yelling at her, “Hit that hydrant probie!

Damn.. what a date!

I wonder if, after they parked the fire truck,  he took her to the Brighton Hot Dog Shoppe or if he went all kinda crazy and treated her to a high-end Hoss’s Steak House buffet?

Let’s eat like REAL fire fighters Bae! <—new term for “babe”

Of course, maybe they continued the crazy-kids-kinda-night and he splurged on a McDonald’s Dinner Box.

Hey Fireman Randy….I hope the night didn’t end in an embarrassing way with your date belittling you by yelling, “You need more hose.. more hose!”  Good luck on your next joy ride to court in a real police car, Ya Jagoff!

 

Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff! – Comedian, Terry Jones

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The weekly “Yakkin’ With Ya Jagoff!” segment.

We’re yakkin’ with Pittsburgh Comedian Terry Jones about

Being a chubby kid growing up in Garfield and Penn Hills

His first open mic night

Who’s his favorite impression to do?

Being part of the Jim Krenn #NoRestrictions Podcast

Do people stop him at the grocery store and ask him to do impressions?

Click the logo below to  subscribe to the #NoRestrictions Podcast


Click here for the Team Terry Website

 

THANKS TO:

For being AWESOME hosts!!!

THANKS TO:

For the production!

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