Red Solo Truck – Peter Parker!

YJ-RedSoloTruck

Now a red solo truck is the best receptacle
For barbecues, tailgates, fairs and festivals
And you, sir, do not have a pair of testicles
If you prefer parking like a Jagoff!

A red solo truck can be cheap and disposable
And when parking like this can be made blog-composable
And unlike my home, it’s not foreclosable
Unless you prefer parking like a Jagoff!

Red solo truck, you cannot park!
Let’s try some parking, let’s try some parking!
I love you red solo truck, I lift wrote you up
Proceed to parking, proceed to parking.

Now I really love cuz you’re easy to make fun of
We call these Peter Parkers, which now you are one of
Cuz when ya park in lots like that
Well, that my friend, makes me quite lucky.

But I have to admit the ladies get smitten
Admiring how sharply my blog name is written
About you when the truck isn’t fittin’
into the parking lines, Ya Jagoff!!!

Everybody sing….

Red solo cup, I fill you up
Let’s have a party, let’s have a party
I love you red solo cup, I lift you up
Proceed to party, proceed to party

That song is now stuck in your head!!!! You’re welcome!!

 

Thanks to Mr. The Moon on Twitter for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today.
Adaptation of Red Solo Cup: Toby Keith – Red Solo Cup Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Steelers Lose to Patriots and Why It’s Dangerous that Pittsburgh Has 446 Bridges

YJ-LockerRoom

Yesterday I headed to Charlotte…. i.e, Pittsburgh of the South, thanks to our good friends (tongue firmly planted in cheek) US-we-screwed-all-of-Pittsburgh-Airways.

I landed in Charlotte… Steelers update said the game was a tie.. BOOM!  I headed directly to The Locker Room Steelers Bar on Tyron Street.  Awesome huge onion rings.. or as my Aunt would say, UNGyin Rings, and cold… REAL COLD…. bottles of Iron City.  The place had quite a few yinzer fans and one lonely Patriots fan.

Lockeroom

The Patriots fan cheered constantly.. loudly… and there was one older woman in the bar, decked out in Steelers gear that was beside herself about the Pats fan.  She started yelling at him as if she was a regular at the church bingo, playing 4,789 cards at one time, like she does every week and then some newbie kid, playing one card, who’s been JAGGIN’ AROUND all night, yells bingo for the $1,000 jackpot!  Yesssirreee, I thought she was gonna kill him with her bag full of dobbers!!!

But I digress… now that the Steelers are 2-6, we have to be very careful because the fact that Pittsburgh has 446 bridges (the most of any City in the world)…this means that some local entrepreneur, playing up on the double-dose of “Steelers are 2-6 and We Miss The Rubber Duck‘ depression symptoms, could sell every depressed Steelers fan their very own, personalized, 2-foot section of bridge, from which to commit the Pittsburgh version of Hari Kari.. (jumping into the water or on to railroad tracks covered in French Fries and cole slaw)!

But we won’t!!!  We’re gonna hang tough… like the sole Pats fan hanging out in a Steelers bar with the bing0-lady breathing down his neck threatening to cut the tendons of his chip-placing finger if he yells “Bingo” again!

So maybe this is a rebuilding year?

One of the Twitter-er-ers said it best….

I can’t imagine if social media existed with Kordell. Or Malone. Or Stout. Dear god.

Am I only one that thinks “so what?” on Steelers? 3 SBs, 2 wins in 8 yrs. teams go from last to first in 1 yr. Settle the “Soap Word” dahn yinzers.

From @Tartan23

Or as we would put it…unfortunately, the Steeler games for the rest of the season, are gonna be like 90-year old-lady cleavage… it’s ugly but we still have to stare!!

And let’s just face it right now… there WON’T be any MUST SEE Sunday, 1pm games this year, which means, there won’t be any excuses to cut out of Noon Mass early this football season!  Hang in there, Ya Jagoffs!!

 

 Final note..we did a contest yesterday.. if anyone picked the correct score and who won, we were going to make a $50 donation to their favorite non-profit.  Nobody picked the right score. We will try again next week!

Saturday Rant – John Knight

Knight_John-1

Pittsburgh Comedian, John Knight

Showcasing some of Pittsburgh’s comedy talent.

Click the video to play

 

Follow John’s show schedule on his website HERE.

This rant sponsored by

A website created to spread the word about comedy in Pittsburgh and be a resource to performers in Pittsburgh.

Click the logo to get to the website.

THANKS TO:

For the production!

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