Taking A Bite Outta Crime or….

 

If you think that picture of the dentures loaded with tobacco is disgusting (cuz looking at it kind of give ME a little puke in the back of my throat), imagine the North Strabane police offer that got HIT by them!!  Yep, HIT BY THEM.. when they were THROWN at him full of tobacco and gum!!!

The story summary:

  • There’s a wreck near William Moody’s house.  (Real name and well deserved!)
  • Bystanders top to render aid and park in William’s driveway.
  • Before all is clear, William wants to get out and take the Lil’ lady to dinner.  But he can’t get out because some Good Samaritan is parked in his driveway
  • Moody gets all “MOODY” (sorry for that)
  • An argument with the police starts.  He gets cuffed.  He fakes passing out from a “heart attack” then goes nuts again!
  • This time he throws his watch and dentures at the police and paramedics!
  • He posted bail and now he’s at home sulking with the…. wait for it…”MOODY BLUES!” (Sorry for that one too)

See the KDKA-TV Video HERE

First thing, Moody-Dudey, nice teeth!!  You might have a new gig for retirement… taking over for McGruff the Crime Dog…ya know.. the whole, “take a bite outta crime” thing?  But you’d have to PROMISE to keep your cool and keep your teeth in!!

Secondly, you were going to eat dinner with those NASTY DENTURES?????  They look like they’re growing their very own Penguins playoff beard!  Our suggestion, while you’re waiting for your hearing, ya might want to take a ShopVac and a jet sprayer to those dentures, Ya Jagoff!

 

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Jet Blue Pilot Jagoff

 

Hey, we usually have a video posted here on Wednesdays. But, we had to get this posted for sure.

Breaking Jagoff News!!

The other night on a Jet Blue flight to Boston, after the Pens/Bruins game, a baby was apparently crying and the pilot made a comment that Sidney Crosby must be on the plane. No doubt the, ready for prime time, Boston media, headed home with smiles bigger than me when I score my one goal per year in pick-up hockey, got some joy outta that. A couple of them tweeted about it as you see above.

Well!! As Sister Anecita would say to someone “clowning around” in her religion class…..”So you think your’e funny mister? Let’s see how funny you can be in the Principal’s Office!”

Jesus… the Bruins beat the snot out of the Pens and that’s all you can muster up? There’s good reason why your a pilot and not a writer for David Letterman!

Now some Pittsburghers say the guy should be fired or that we should boycott the airlines or… blah.. blah.. blah!

We say, get Sid to write a check tomorrow to buy the entire Jet Blue airline and then do an episode of Under Cover Boss with that guy. Better yet, get Sister Anecita on that plane and let her know that Mr. Pilot thinks he’s a clown! His knuckles and mental state will NEVER be the same.

Hey “Jet Blue JazzBo,” keep up those high-level jokes and maybe a real airline like Southwest will hire ya! Better yet, you might even get a cable show, “The Cash Cabin!” where people get to play trivia questions for money during their trip and get kicked out of the emergency exit when they miss 3 questions. (Get it?? A little take on Cash Cab!! lol!! I should be writing pilot jokes!!)

But while you’re waiting for that cable show offer, how about just sticking to the script and telling everyone when you’ve turned the seat belt light on or off and when we might be able to look out the left window to see the Great Lakes. And while you’re on Auto Pilot, check out Sid’s regular season stats (even injured) and how they compare to any Bruin stats, Ya Jagoff!!

 

Don’t Forget To Order Your T-shirt

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A “Because The Pens Lost” Blog……

 

And watch ESPN’s Pat Muldowney’s “Pens Fan Vine Video” Below

Right… the title kinda rubs it in.  But then again, isn’t it worth it to have a place to let go of your “Pissed-offy-ness?

All that WE know is that, just like the Steelers, as the Penguins playoff game wins go, so the day-after work days go! Which means it’s probably pretty miserable at work today. So, if you are miserable just memorize the following quote OR post it near your work area OR on your forehead if you don’t have a work area:

No, I’m not making those photocopies. No, I don’t have your STUPID report done! It was asinine anyway. I have no interest in hearing how your kid did at last night’s softball game. I am cancelling all meetings EXCEPT for the one’s where I get to shew someone’s ARSE out for not good reason. No, you cannot borrow my stapler, a paperclip or a pen. And by the way, make your own coffee, I’m not your mother? Just let me alone until it’s time to get the hell outta here for the weekend. And, be prepared if you leave before I do, if you’re driving in front of me going home, you’d better remember that the gas pedal is the one on the right because, otherwise, I am pretty much going to run up over YOUR vehicle cuz EVERYONE in my path, in MY eyes, will look like the Bruins’ Brad Marchand with a KICK ME sticker on his back.  And YES, I’m P@#$ off about the Penguins game last night  and how bleak this looks for us getting into the final round, Ya Jagoff!

 

Thanks to Instagramer @mayoraddyb for his “frustrated selfie” from the game last night…our title pic!!  He’s now and Honorary Jagoff Catcher!

List your own STRESS RELEASE phrase below!!

Don’t Forget To Order Your T-shirt

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