Work Jagoffs

Work Prank Jagoffs…at BNY Mellon



So, there I am, sitting on the toilet, scrolling through Instagram photos and up pops the photo above.  The message on the pic said;

Nothing like walking into your last day on the job and seeing this.  Glad this isn’t my desk.

It made my day!  Seriously, what do ya do with this if you were the victim… other than put on some sun glasses, strip to your skivvies and sit down like you’re gonna sun tan?  The good news was, I found this pic early while sitting on the toilet scrolling through Instagram.  Some days I sit there scrolling for so long  that my legs and feet go numb.  Then I have to hold on to all of the towel racks to extricate myself from the bathroom.

But back to the topic at hand…

This is one of those times where the victim of the prank would go through the various stages of the, “Ya Jagoff!” phrase

1) There’s the version, that’s posted on this log every day… venting about someone that has been a jerk, said with a scowl on your face, “Ya Jagoffs!” Of course, expressing displeasure toward whatever co-workers did this, or those that are laughing at it or are now posting your reaction on Twitter, Facebook, Vine, Instagram and, for those older officer workers, My Space.

2) There’s the version that expresses displeasure but, in a few minutes, you realize  this was pretty funny, and you wished you had thought of it, so half chuckling you say, “Whooooooooo everrrrrrr did this, I’m..I’m gonna… I’m….. oh…(as your admiring their work)..oh, Ya Jagoffs!”

3) There’s  the version where, you are either expressing appreciation to someone or  you’re simply just calm and happy… with a smile on your face and a hug, you say, “Ya Jagoffs!” This particular phase, more than likely, will come days, weeks or possibly months later when, the victim, pays back  the “foiler”  by sending one of those 1990-ish emails that says “Make sure you turn your speakers up for this one!” which then opens an email attachment that says, “Hey, I’m watching porn over here!”

In any event, this is hysterical unless you are the person that sits at this desk OR you’re my mother who would take one look at this and the proceed to whoop your ARSE for wasting all of that “good tin foil!”

Nice work BNY Mellon gang…. Ya Jagoffs! (Said in the smiling, we’re envious connotation!)


Thanks to Mayoraddyb on Instagram for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher and for helping me find this pic, not once but TWICE on Instagram!


Hot Dog Work-Lunch Jagoff

This Facebook post came across and I honestly laughed out loud (LOL for you NON-Initial-buffs).

“Today was Hot Dog Thursday at work. One of my co-workers had 5 dogs. I didn’t have a chance to get any and I didn’t bring lunch.”

The subsequent posts included:

“I posted a pic on your wall. It’s damn close to what he actually looks like. If there was any food left I would have been glad to include that pic. Sadly there is nothing left. Nothing. I think he might have shot the condiments right from the bottles directly into his yap……. I am freaking starving right now!!

The submitted photo (above) was PERFECT since I have a rule that I won’t post people’s actual faces unless their famous.

Who DOESN’T know that person at work that will eat 4 helpings of the free buffet, bring their kids in for the company cookout, takes a doggie bag home from the employee cover-dish or even eat someone else’s food out of the work fridge??  Unfortunately because of this, John, our Facebook friend was relegated to  walking around his work place trying to figure out who might have a stick of gum or, even worse, trying to figure out who might have a bag of 2013 Halloween candy hidden in the bottom of someone’s desk drawer.  All because his coworker thought he was in the  Nathan’s Hot Dog eating trials!!!

Five Hot Dogs at work??  Hey Mr.Takeru Kobayashi “wanna-be,”  the Pittsburgh Pirates have an All-You-Can-Eat section that includes hot dogs.  Take some of your First Communion money, get a ticket and go eat everything in site so that our man John can get a morsel or two from the work lunch.  We all hope you had a helluva NITRATE HEADACHE at your desk, YA JAGOFF!


Thanks to Honorary Jagoff Catcher and Facebook Follower, John R for his tip!!

“That Guy” At Work With The Fake 32″ Waist



Have you seen this guy at work, at the mall, walking through town????  That guy that refused to believe that he can’t fit into his belt from 10 years ago!

Then ya have these other guys that REFUSE to concede when it’s time to buy a bigger pair of drawers.

They refuse to admit that a 32-inch waist was 12 years and a lot of Fiori’s pizza, beer, Mancini Bread and Dunkin Donuts ago. And for SOME reason, they STILL snug-up that belt to the worn-out 32-inch belt notch of yesteryear…presenting that oh-so-awesome Michelin Man look!

Some guys even shift the belt down their pelvis so that the ol’ 32-inch feels a little more comfortable especially after a “walking lunch” through the Arts Festival fried food venodrs!   They stand up straight, shimmy the belt down with their thumbs and say, “yep, there’s a THIRTY TOOOOO down here somewhere!”

Guys,  if ya have to push your belt down to your thighs to find yer 32-inch waistline, AND YOUR NOT A RAP ARTIST, it is time to say “hello” to a BIGGER belt and maybe stop tucking in the Steelers jersey into your jeans during black-and-gold day at work, Ya Jagoffs!!