Mar 15 2012

Guess Where The Driving TEXTERS Went…..

OK, this story is gonna be just like the “big fish that got away,” the story that the Pirates REALLY ARE going to be better this year and that story where the B-52 Bomber supposedly crashed into Mon River near the Point in 1956… we basically have NO EVIDENCE! (except for this one still frame we pulled from the iPhone video.  It’s kind of like our version of the Zapruder film…the ZaJagoff film.)

THE STORY:

So we’re in downtown Pittsburgh doing a meet-up for some Ya Jagoff! paraphernalia.  We pull into the drive way of the Marriott City Center, near the remnants of the ol’ Civic Arena.  As we pull in, there’s this guy (pictured above) walking in the sunshine, reading his smart phone, sauntering….with no regard to the rest of the world… right down the middle of the hotel driveway.

So we have time, and we pull out the iPhone and realize we are about to capture a Jagoff IN ACTION and it will indeed be the bestest ever Jagoff post on this blog to this point!  We slowly drive behind this guy as he continues to walk while looking down at his smart phone.

We’re driving behind him considering beeping to get a reaction out of him.  But we don’t we wanted to see, ON VIDEO, how long it would take for him to realize there was a 2,500lb vehicle lurking dangerously behind him.  Finally, the guy looks up.  Looks at our car then looks right back down at his phone and KEEPS WALKING!  Never an “I’m sorry!” nor one of those blank “I don’t know any better I’m from Cleveland” looks…. NOTHING!!!!

Soooooooooooooooooooo we say to ourselves, this is classic!! Can’t wait to get back to the WJGF news desk and get this edited.

When we get back, well, this is where WE become the… well, ya know…… cuz as it turns out, we had not hit the RECORD when we thought we did.  We only hit RECORD for the iPhone video as we were putting the phone back down on the car seat. (The resultant video was the camera lens quickly passing our EZ Pass unit, our dashboard and then total blackness as the phone was placed, lens down, on the front seat of the car!!!  Almost 7 minutes of a black car seat and us singing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

If you think YOU’RE feeling disappointment, imagine DEVASTATION for us!!!  We thought this was our breakout moment.

Well, through the help of technology, we did spare the first .05 seconds of the video and got the above still photo.  Yes, it looks a little suspect like most Sasquatch photos, but we swear, it’s him.  And we might even go back to make a plaster casting of his foot tomorrow morning at the same time just to prove it!

So back to may man texting while walking….. we have to admit, we have done this, more than once, and even did it after smashing our shins into a fire hydrant by not watching where we were walking.  But.. and this is indeed the difference between a Jagoff and a non Jagoff, we APOLOGIZED to the driver or other walkers!  Not THIS guy!

So Mr. Mobile, it’s clear that, due to the new Pennsylvania “no texting while driving” law, that you do not have time to read your stuff on the drive in to work in the morning.  But how about a little common courtesy and common sense ?  Go grab a Primanti’s Sandwich and take the load off and read your emails while relaxing with the pigeons sitting on a bench in Market Square!  Either that, or just get into work earlier and read them at your desk.  But either way, don’t text and walk in the street, Ya Jagoff!

Don’t forget to get your “Don’t Be A Jagoff” cellphone skin from the folks at CellPig

(The only place in the world that has them.)

Click on the photo below to see all of ‘em!

By Jagoff Catcher • Work Jagoffs • 1

Jan 10 2012

Guest Post, Dominic Errico’s Co-workers!

      Dominic Errico

@SteelCityVoice

Hosts Power Pregame and Panther Primer on TribLive Radio (http://sportstalk.triblive.com)  PA Announcer/Voiceover guy/Sports Blogger

The VoiceSays Blog

Allright I’ve had it up to here with the Jagoffs I work with and I have to blow off some steam.

I’m trying desparately to get into the inner psyche of someone who would use up the last roll of toilet paper in the bathroom and not walk 20 feet to get a few more rolls for the next unsuspecting guy who has to use the bathroom.

I guess I could use some of the 32 unused paper towels that someone watched fall on the ground and couldn’t be bothered to pick up and dispose in the garbage can.

The bathroom at the office might be disgusting enough, but you should see the treasures I find when I use one of the fleet vehicles we all have to share. Empty pop bottles, sticky candy bar wrappers, cigarettes, a used moist towelette, snot rags, and all around general filth.

The best of the bunch was the fingernail clippings I found in the side cargo bin.  Yep, one of the Jagoffs I worked with clipped his nails and tossed them into the door bin.

The mess is bad enough, but this last one is the true inspiration for this entire post.  It’s pretty cold these days, so naturally you might be in a hurry to get into the vehicle and get warm.Imagine my surprise when I closed the door quickly and unintentionally inhaled someone’s leftover gaseous waste from the previous run.

Your immediate fear is that it’s YOU that smells like …well, you know…,but nope, it’s your inconsiderate co-worker who launched some ass-gas napalm and couldn’t be  bothered to open the windows and let it air out.

Everyday I work with these guys reminds me of the job search engine commercial with the guy working with a bunch of monkeys.

How about some consideration for your coworkers, Ya Jagoffs!

Our note: we did some co-worker posts before too!  Check out these older posts:

Hot Dog Lunch Co-Worker 

Verizon Strikers

And Don’t forget to order your “Don’t Be A Jagoff” stuff!  Click the pic below.

By Jagoff Catcher • Work Jagoffs • 0

Aug 12 2011

Verizon Strikers

This blog calls out people/things that make Pittsburgh look bad.  Well, the Verizon strikers have finally pushed our button.  The final straw: they actually locked replacement workers in a building with chains and a padlock (see WTAE story here). REALLY??  This is like locking “Little Johnny” in the coat room back in grade school cuz he wore flood pants!

Let’s set the record straight on a few points first:

1) We are not Union haters

2) We hate when corporate Jagoffs take advantage of the workers i.e. US Airways employees or move jobs overseas

3) We believe there are two sides to every Jagoff story and we do not know the finer details of THIS story

4) Our hardly-ever-used landline house phone is still on the wall ONLY because we don’t know what else to hang in its place (like most houses, we don’t really use it)

5) We believe the Verizon workers have the right to strike

On the other hand, is THIS how ADULTS should act ESPECIALLY when trying to be taken seriously in a work disagreement?

Is yelling, pushing, flashing muscles, intimidating other adults, that are trying to look out for their own families, REALLY how you want to be seen on TV or are some of you auditioning for the next West Side Story run at the Benedum Center or even the Batman movie fight scenes?

Is the fact that the CEO of Verizon makes more-than-you-think-he-should  a reason to elbow and spit on the same co-worker that brought in the awesome buffalo chicken dip and pita chips for the ”Super Bowl Friday” Steelers party 6 months ago?

Oh wait, are you the same adults that are supposed to be teaching “NO BULLYING” to the kids?  This isn’t the steel strike of 1919!!!

Verizon landline workers, do what ya gotta do by striking but ALSO think of where these groups are today:  the typewriter builders who refused to see the PC coming and the abacus builders and Chismbop salesman who refused to recogize the electronic calculator. (Ya might wanna be a little flexible.)

We say, stand around, wave your signs, chant your chants and be proud and holdtrue  to your beliefs but there is NO RATIONAL JUSTIFICATION you can make, as adults, for your embarassing Lock-Johnny-in-the-coat-room-DePants-Jeffy-the-geek-Push-the-books-outta-the-freshmans-arms-Wet-willy-Mary’s-ear-Give-Jimmy-a-wedgy-Steal-Alan’s-lunch-money-Slap-a-KICK-ME sign-on-Sam-Shove-Louie-in-a-locker-High-school-bully activity, YA JAGOFFS!

As a side note:

We agree, the CEO probably needs to suck it up and take a pay cut too but, our guess is, most of you who are begrudging the CEO’s $20 million a year for being responsible for over 100,000 employees will be the same people that would complain if the Steelers didn’t give Ben Roethlisberger or Troy Polamalu $45 million dollars to play 16 regular season football games!

Photo credit: Bob Donaldson/Post-Gazette

By Jagoff Catcher • Work Jagoffs • 0