Work Jagoffs

Sep 14 2012

Soooo… Facebook Employment Page Failure

The larger health care facilities in the area, like other agencies, have started “Career” Facebook Pages.  The good ones have a lot of two-way interaction… more than any other interaction most of us have ever had in previous years when applying and inquiring on progress of job postings?

While searching one ”Health Care Career” FB page, we saw the post pictured above.  We swear on our mother’s grave, grandpa’s grave, cross-our-hearts-hope-to-die, double-pinky-swear, no jinxies, knick-knack-paddy-wack, no-fingers-crossed-behind-0ur-back, that this is a real post on a local employment Facebook page.

We have chosen to hide the profile pic of the person who posted the above note on a Career Facebook Page for a specific health care agency.  Why did we hide the pic?  Because the person, themselves, was too stupid NOT to!!! (LOL)

And we do not want to name the specific Facebook page where we found this but we CAN play a game with the name.

For all of you guys out there, remember in early elementary school, you would get your jollies off by catching one of your buddies off-guard and whispering in their ear, “Hey, go up to (insert teacher’s name here) and say, “MAY I” and then spell the word CUP?”

Of course the resultant phrasing turns out to be….well…..you can figure it out and, if executed flawlessly by your sap of a buddy, he was suddenly very embarrassed once the words passed his lips while you were in the coat room giggling like crazy.

Well, we’ll play the same kind of 4th grade name-game regarding the Facebook Page where we found this… it’s called something like…”YOU SEE ME PEE.”

Moving forward, we have certainly made more than a few typo errors on this silly blog…. mainly due to too-many-late-night-one-eye-open-gotta-hurry-and-get-to-sleep posts on our part.  Fortunately for this applicant, their post is on one of the most POLITICALLY CORRECT places known to man……where Human Resources professionals hang out!!! So the real response was pleasant.

But let’s take a stab at what WE believe should have been an appropriate Facebook response to this “applicant:”

Dear _________, the SUM of 45 resumes, has less influence over us getting back to you than our concern for your grasp of the English language and respect for the old BhulPlaneterium Spelling Bees.  We mean, and this is no lie, that when you refer to “i” as to yourself, it should be written as “I” just like the ”I” you had at the beginning of the same sentence.  We have attached a hyperlink to the definition of a “sentence” for your review as well.  Please review it in, what will seem to be, EVEN MORE time on your hands.  And by the way “&” is not “and” unless you’re testing your friends, “Meet me & Shnookie at Saddle Ridge.”  In closing, if you would like to gain employment with us, please take the silly-pose profile pic down from your Facebook page.  Learn how to read.  Learn how to write.  And BTW, the reason we STILL have not gotten back to you on your 45 resumes is that our retired 2nd grade Catholic school teacher is still in the middle of highlighting all of your typos with her 4th box of red felt tip markers, Ya Jagoff!!!

Please pass this to EVERY HR professional you know….they will feel VERY appreciated by this post!!! 

Here’s another RESUME POST we did last year.

And speaking of health care…. you know where the money goes from our shirts!!!!!

Breast Cancer Research at Magee Women’s Hospital

Click The Pic To Get Yours

By Jagoff Catcher • Work Jagoffs • Comments • Tags: Facebook, Jagoffs, Jobs, Pittsburgh, Pittsburghese