Fayette Officials Reappoint Dead Man to Board


Yeah.. you read that right!  See the excerpts from the TribLive article by Mary Pickles below.

Earlier this month, the late Larry Markwood, who died Aug. 30, 2012, was included among reappointments to the Fayette County Industrial Authority board.

I’m sure he was honored. (He snickers as he types and rolls his eyes sayin’ “Oh that Fayette County.”)

“We will be smarter next time,” Chairman Vincent Zapotosky said.

Really? Ummmm…. doesn’t seem to hard to be “smarter next time” at this point.  It’s like the kid in the elementary school Spelling Bee that spells CAT correctly and high-fives the other contestants as he walks away from the microphone.

“If the gentleman passed away two years ago, why didn’t any of the board members pick up a phone or email you or (otherwise) let you know one of the board members is deceased and you need to reappoint or fill that position?” – Dunbar Township resident Terry Kris

How about this question: if the gentleman passed away two years ago… WHY DIDN’T WE SEND ANY FLOWERS?  Guessing that a simple  “THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE” letter from the hard-working, on-top-of-their-game Commissioners was out of the question too. (Actually, if they had sent one, that would have made this story even better.)

Authority solicitor Ernest DeHaas on Wednesday explained that the authority was very active in the 1970s and 1980s, assisting small businesses with obtaining low-interest bank loans.

Haaaaa… (snort)…. haaaaa (pee trickle)…..Seriously, the 1980s?  Should we do wellness check-ups or corpse dog searches for the other people still listed as part of the Authority? Did someone ever say, “Where in the $#@ are those meeting minutes from those lazy ARSES on the Industrial Authority? Especially that Markwood guy, he’s a real stiff.”  

Hey Fayette County Comishes,  if we didn’t know that good ol’ Lar was dead and we aren’t monitoring who ISN’T attending meetings, then who IS attending the meetings.  By chance have you seen any of these people on the rosters?

Harry P. Ness

Hammond Eggs

Buster Hymen

Ben Dover

Two Irish guys named “Phil”— McCracken and McGroin

Lee Nover and, of course,

Oliver Closeoff

Yes, you might recognize them from your high school days!  Keep sleeping at the wheel, Ya Jagoffs!


Thanks to Trib Reporter Mary Pickels for the story.


Lunchables – The Pittsburgh Version #2

AnnaMac_Pittsburgh Lunchables 2.0

You may recall that last week we posted the Pittsburgh version of Lunchables.  Well, we are expanding the “virtual” line of products.  We believe the Iron City Juice Box to be something you should go buy “futures” on!

And just in case you’re still working your New Years Resolution, we have ya covered.

AnnaMac_Pittsburgh Lunchables 2.0 Light


C’mon.. lessssseat, Ya Jagoffs!


Thanks, ONCE AGAIN, to Anna Mac for her genius-ity on the Photoshop work.  

Make sure you click on the MaryMac Bakehouse pic for all natural baked goods.


Some Hawaiian Jagoffery To Warm Us Up


After a couple of days of nasty weather, I thought it might be worth posting a little sunshine.  Hawaiian sunshine with a little bit of Jagoffery.

Not much to say  that the photo doesn’t.  Below is what the Instagram message said:

guess this guy didn’t want to bother with a tarp.. yes, that is a lawn mower hanging out of the back..

I utilized the “Jay Caulfield Approved Jagoffestrator” to highlight the lawn mower.  You’re welcome!

But wait!  Maybe we are all being too judgmental.  Remember those urban legend stories about  a dead scuba diver being found at a forest fire?  Supposedly the body was fully clad in a wetsuit complete with scuba tanks and mask and the story is told that a scuba diver was accidentally scooped up in an air tanker with a load of water from the local ocean/lake.

We put the SJU (Special Jagoffs Unit) on this task and, their premise was, POTENTIALLY, there was an over-sized bull dozer, digging at a major site, that somehow scooped up an unsuspecting grass cutter who was mowing some big weeds along the side of a Hawaiian Highway, accidentally scooped up and dumped into the back of this pickup truck.  Where his body is, we are not sure.  Perhaps he/she is napping in the back of the truck OR perhaps he/she has gone off to scuba dive and, potentially at risk of getting  picked up by a helicopter and thrown on top of a forest fire.

Or maybe this is a mobile landscaping exhibit where they are trying to show you that new kind of lawn mower than can cut your hillside conveniently!

Other than that, there seems to be ZERO explanation for this.  My guess is this truck doesn’t need a “Keep Back 500 Feet” sign since, I’m fairly certain there’s nobody tail-gating him with that precariously placed mower.  Hey Fred Sanford, Jr, Jr, Jr, (yes, a distant relative) you might be able to stop working so hard for a living.  Do this: enter that lawn mower into the cirque du soleil performances, it’s balancing ability is incredible and you’ll get RICH other than SUED when that thing falls off your truck, Ya Jagoff!


Mahalo to @Libbunnie on Twitter and Instagram for submitting this pic and being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher.