The PA Turnpike

Didn’t Have To Wait to Get To Harrisburg To Find a Jagoff

YJ-Cones

Driving, driving, driving…I am driving on one of the most expensive toll roads this side of…. well, um, actually, it IS the most expensive toll road ANYWHERE! And rates are about to go up again.

And given that it is indeed exspensive, I’d like to use as much of it as I can in as little amount of time as I can.  However, these little cone thingies and reduced speed limit signs are kind of in my way.  Ok, I get it, the road needs maintenance and this is maintenance season.  HOWEVER………

The photo above shows orange cones that were beside me for about 2.5 miles.  The orange sign ahead says, “end of construction zone.”  Guess where the 8 workers were doing THEIR thing ?  Yep, about 1.5 miles before I took this picture – all working around 2 trucks and one 10′ piece of jersey barrier! (and yes, they WERE working – no cheapy jokes here)

I realize we need to protect our road workers from “Texting-Cell-phone-talking-Cell-phone-photo-taking-Sirius-Comedy-Channel-listening-Talking-with-their-hands-Eatin-travel-munchy-Damn-I-spilled-my-drink-Where-in-the-hell-is-one-of-those-napkins”  drivers but 2.5 miles of buffer zone seems a bit ridic!!! I need some RUNWAY here!

Thank God I have EZ pass so that I have NO IDEA what it’s really costing me to travel slower than a Tweed-hated-West Penn AAA 50-year member, Ya Jagoffs!

That Left-Laned Truck Driver

Photo Credit:wtae.com
This one is REALLY simple… taken from I-79 in West Virginia….cause that’s EXACTLY where a logging truck should be as we all are approaching a hill!!! Shouldn’t you be in the right lane where it is easier to text and drive?
Hey, Kenny Loggins….move over, Ya Jagoff!

 

Don’t Forget To Order Your T-shirt

Click the pic below to see the store.

 

Pennsylvania Turnpike Gets An “APP”

Soooo, the PA Turnpike is unveiling an “app” for smart phones!  One of the oldest toll roads in the country is now up-to-date according to an article in the Chester County Daily Local News (click here for article).

We believe this to be a FANTASTIC idea!  According to the article, “The free app available for iPhone and Droid smartphones will let customers hear what is happening on the Turnpike.”  Some sound bites of what travelers might hear are:

“We know you paid a lot of money to drive on this road, sooooo we are REEEEEEALLY sorry we haven’t had a chance to erase that SECOND SET of confusing and dangerous white lines from last year’s construction just yet.”

“Those workers that you just past, ticked off the folks on the OTHER side of the state LAST YEAR by digging up the shoulder of the road and median for no good reason, so now it’s YOUR turn!”

“Please remember to get an EZ Pass.  THAT way you’ll have NO IDEA how much it actually cost you to drive this road until you a few days after you’re home!”

“Yes, we understand you cannot see the most of the road markings at night when it’s raining, but AT LEAST we now have an app to prepare you.  Voice-Text #6789 of you are a braille-driver – dragging your fingertips along those little bumpy things to find your lane!”

Turnpike Commission, it’s nice that you “have an app for that” BUT now that it NOW costs me over $30 dollars to cross that state.  I’m expecting a few luxury amenities such as:

* No BUMP in the road where you have a sign that says “BUMP IN ROAD”.

* 2 miles LESS of road cones on each side of the 4 workers that are working on a 4-foot pothole

* Those little reflective marker thingies in the ground for safe night-driving along the ENTIRE turnpike, not just near Harrisburg

* A new rule that requires Eat n Park Buffet-like SNEEZE GUARDS on the sides of all 18-wheel trucks driving at night in the rain

And one final amenity, a pawnshop at the rest stops where I can sell one of my bikes, pets or kids so that I can pay the toll in cash on the other end of one of the most unsafe roads in the Commonwealth, YA JAGOFFS!