Self Serve Gas

Apr 19 2012

Self Serve Gas AIN’T As Simple as Just Gettin’ Gas

When I’m getting gas, I’m usually in a hurry…either to get to an appointment or to get home.. either way, BOTH are places that I told people I’d be home 20 minutes ago!  Then, I get stuck with a gas pump that asks more questions than a 9 year-old asking about Santa Clause:

  •      Do you have a fuel card? Yes or No
  •      Do you want to use your points? Yes or No
  •      Credit or Debit? Yes or No
  •      Do you want to purchase windshield washer fluid?
  •      Do you want a car wash?   NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This is more questions than an SAT Test?!!!!!!!! I just want gas, YA JAGOFF!

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By Jagoff Catcher • Self Serve Gas • 2 • Tags: , ,

Apr 17 2012

Fuel Perk Jagoffs!

 

This is at the Sheetz on 286 in Plum (next to Stanford).

And what you are seeing is the “grown-up” version of the kid that used to take 4 cupcakes all at once when someone brought in birthday treats to your kindergarten class.  It was because of HIM that, at the next party, everyone had to stand in line single file and be HANDED 1 cupcake each.. leaving you with an angel food cupcake when you REALLY wanted a chocolate one!!!!!

Here’s the write-up that was submitted with this pic:

Sheetz has cards like the GetGo advantage card, but you don’t build up extra savings, you just automatically save 3-cents per gallon for using your Sheetz card.  At GetGo you get one fill up with your perks (maybe 40-cents or a $1 off per gallon). But double dipping at Sheetz for 3-cents off makes no sense (or cents) at all!

He’s right.. it makes NO sense to call the wife and say, “Honey, rush on down here, I have 3 cents off per gallon…it’s OUR night to cash in!!”  So all this guy’s doing is spoiling the party for everyone else over 3-cents a gallon.  Next week, there will be signs up, “ONE CAR PER FILL-UP!”

But wait!  We like to give some people the benefit of a good excuse.  Maybe he’s SHARING with everyone.. maybe he’s the SHEETZ GAS SANTA!!!!  “Come one, come all!!!  I’m handing out 3-cents of gas!!!! I’m SHANTA!” (Did you like how we did that overused “SH” Sheetz thing on Santa??)

Nope!!!  This guy was just being a … well.. hold on…its coming.

Hey SHeister, SHeriously…(yep we love overusing the gimmick too) you were probably the reason that your first grade classmates had to bring in their own #2 pencils– cuz you kept taking handfuls from the teachers’ ”Free” box and, more than likely, you were the kid that got caught eating mouthfuls of communion hosts after 2nd grade First Communion practice and we GUARANTEE your the guy that tries to purchase a large bag of Doritos, 2 MTO Shnack Wrapz and a 4.5 liter fountain drink with a dollar bill and all of the change in the “take a penny” holder.  In the meantime, youre holding up the gas line longer than one of those landscaper trailers that fill 38 2-gallon gas cans every summer morning,  Ya Jagoff!!!

Thanks to Twitter follower @Pittsburghers  for being today’s Honorary Jagoff Catcher!  who is He also writes the Yinzer Blog and  runs eSellout.com . (eSellout.com is the best place in the world to get tickets to ANYTHING)

 

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By Jagoff Catcher • Self Serve Gas • 8 • Tags: , ,