Restaurant Jagoffs

A True Soda Jerk, I Mean, Jagoff! (I Mean POP!)

This can happen anywhere you find a “free refills” soda fountain.  I just happened to have this happen at an Arby’s and didn’t have the guts to click a pic of the person who I am about to talk about.  Too close for comfort—-even for me!

List of Events:

1)  Lady in front of me orders food and drink.

2) Lady in front of me gets empty cup to go fill at the soda fountain machine.

3) I order my food and drink.

4) I get an empty cup to go fill at the soda fountain machine.

5) I go to soda fountain machine to get some pop.

6) All events now come to a SCREEEEEEEEEECHING HALT.

It seems that the lady in front of me has to make sure that she fills her cup to the very top to get her money’s worth.  Tssssssst! The machine fills her cup and she lets the foam die down. Tsssst, tssst!  I couple of shorter soda bursts pops the foam bubbles and fills the cup ALMOST to the top.  Tsssst, Tsst, Tsssssst! Whoa.. gotta spill some foam out. Tsssst, tssst!  Almost to the top but not quite. (One more shot.) Tsssssssst!  Ooops got some on her hand (wipes hand on pants).  Tssssst! FULL!!!!

Now she stands right in front of the machine with her food tray and purse, elbows spread out like a roller derby babe, as she tries to squeeze the lid on the cup without losing any overflow!  Nobody behind her can get a drink.  This lady is officially doing  a COKE-Block on us (Funny, huh?)

(Yes!  We know it’s a Pepsi machine photo and we said Coke-block. Pepsi-block just didn’t work.)

Tsssst! Tssssssssst! Tsst! Tssssssssst!  Spill.  Tsssst! Tsssssssssst! Tst! Tsst!  Sip, Tsssssst!  Add more ice, Tsssssst! Tst!  Poke floating ice with finger, lick finger, Tst!  Apply lid, spill some, oops, spilled too much, Tssst! Tssssssst!  Apply lid. Insert straw.  Sip loose pop, that leaked out around the straw, from top of lid.  (Are you feeling as frustrated as we felt yet?)

Hey lady, it’s FREE REFILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You DON’T have to stand there and empty the fountain tanks into your cup to feel like you’re getting over on the restaurant while the rest of us look on as if we were watching a Latte Artist.

How about THIS unselfish thought….drink what you have, get out of everyone else’s way and ONLY come back when you NEED more pop, Ya Jagoff!!!!

Awesome Jagoff Catch on a Port Authority Bus

YJ-SunflowerSeeds

 

We all know about Pittsburgh’s “Going Green” initiatives.  But this guy seems to have a different understanding. He doesn’t get that the whole “earth returned to earth” thing is for the OUTSIDE!

He was sitting on a Port Authority bus… enjoying life…relaxing…eating sunflower seeds.. and throwing the shells on the bus floor.

You can watch the original Vine video here.

What?  Have ya watched too many Pirates games this season …watching the boys in the dugout spitting shells around the diamond.  It IS plausible ya know..maybe some people aren’t used to watching so much baseball and picked up some bad habits!

Hey Johnny SUNFLOWERseed… (did ya see what I just did there with the APPLESEED thingy?)…as my grandfather might say, “Would you do that in your own house?” WAIT!! Don’t answer that.

Seriously…. this is a bus.. that other people use too.  It might not be the most timely, the most efficient or have the happiest drivers but we clearly don’t need to be following YOU around the system with a ShopVac.  I would appreciate it if you would NOT throw your shells around on the bus.  I have shared my seat with some unique riders over the years and I would prefer not to find myself sitting next to a family of RACOONS!

If ya wanna throw shells on the floor, go to the Park House, Ya Jagoff!

 

Who Designed The Fast Food Drive Thru?

A guest blog today from Eric Carroll, of the music group Ernie and The Berts!!

This is one of those things that leaves me to ponder “why has no one ever thought of that?” Much like restroom faucets where you can’t get your hand under the water without touching the side of the sink basin, or the how the lanes merge on the Fort Pitt bridge, this is just incredibly poor planning.

I’ve seen this sign (above) at many drive-through locations but this just happened to be one where I could grab a good photo. You can see how ridiculous it is.

It’s asking you to have your order ready when you pull up to the speaker. Buuuuuuuut only someone with vision like Superman would be able to see the menu before they’re actually at the speaker. You may argue that this an extremely familiar menu that we’ve all seen a countless number of times… so we should know it by now. Be that as it may, the thing is always changing… and you might want to see the menu before you order.

What if something strikes you as good after you see it on the menu even though you had planned on ordering something else? What if you have $5 in your wallet and want to make the best of that dollar menu and get the most meal for your money? What if your incredibly indecisive friend is in the passengers seat forcing you to try & recite the entire menu from memory?

When it comes down to it, the sign is requesting the impossible. You’d think it would fit perfectly… right beside a menu, so you could peruse at your leisure before pulling up to the magic little box to hear the garbled message asking if you’d like to try a value meal or whatever other promotion they’re pushing. (Again, peeing in the face of progress by having you make a decision on a new option after you’re supposed to have gotten your order all ready.)  They’re contradicting themselves at every car length!

Dear fast-food drive-thru engineers, did you guys FAIL your how-tangents-and-cotangents-meet-real-life exam… Ya Jagoffs?

Since you’re reading, this, check out our previous post about signs in the Heidelberg McDonald’s Drive Thru HERE!

Thanks again to Eric Carroll of the music group Ernie and The Berts for today’s post!!