Jun 4 2012
This is a picture of the “Yellow Pages” or “Super Pages” or Yellow Book” or “Super Yellow Duper Book” or whatever they call that thing people used to use to find phone numbers of companies they want to contact. We’re actually not sure who the Jagoffs here are…. the people convincing companies that SOMEONE really reads thru this thing looking for their phone number in some highlighted two-color ad OR the companies who PURCHASE ads believing that SOMEONE actually really does read thru this thing looking for their company’s phone number.
Either way, these books are all over the ground in the neighborhood and, unless they make good mulch (they don’t), TODAY, unless you can open them up and talk to “Old Yeller” (their version of SIRI), these books are about as useless as these other items:
1) Car Burglar Alarms – Nobody even looks when these go off anymore, they take pictures of the car and turn them into us as Jagoff posts.
2) House Phones – The only reason it’s still on the wall is because we have nothing else to plug into that goofy-shaped outlet.
3) Our Popeil Pocket Fisherman – If any of you remember it, you know whay it’s useless
4) Our Battle Ship Game cuz we lost most of the red pegs anyway and the aircraft carrier lost some pegs so it spins and people can cheat
5) An actual SCRABBLE game – everyone has the APP version.
6) That green fuzzy thing in the back, bottom of yer refrigerator that you can’t identify – unless it’s a St. Patrick’s Day ZAGNUT bar!
7) A Trivial Pursuit game (unless you make a NO-SMART-PHONE rul
Hey Super Pages… wondering if ours was actually the “white pages” but, because they sat so long before we stooped over to pic them up, the neighborhood dogs did a few leg-lift-performances on them and NOW they are “Yellow Pages!” We thought about keeping your yellow book thingies and, each time you put them out, using theme to fill the empty space on our our specially engineered Brittanica Encyclopedia Book Shelf (engineered to hold annual update books thru the year 2020). But we decided against it. Have you not heard of things called “web sites” and “google and yahoo” searches and, now in 2012 this things called “Face” books?????
We say, God bless ya for being able to “North Shore T’ing” (our version of BS’ing) companies into purchasing ads and making a buck somehow. God Bless America where ANYONE can make money doing ANYTHING! But in our case, we’re REALLY glad the thing comes prepackaged in its own garbage bags, Ya Jagoffs!
NOTE: FEEL FREE TO POST BELOW OTHER ITEMS THAT ARE CURRENTLY USELESS – EXCEPT FOR SPOUSES!