Port Authority

It Just Takes One Bus……

Ok… one bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch (insert whatever other cliche you want).  No doubt I have seen some GOOD bus drivers.  BUT, I can pretty much assure that ALL of you have seen this.

So the theory behind buses is that they’re  supposed to create LESS traffic, right?  But, here at the blog, we have ANOTHER theory…it only takes one bus to screw up a whole line of traffic!  You see traffic held up on a main road… you just assume it’s a bus…unless you’re at the Squirrel Hill Tunnels.

Now, just so you know, this bus WAS stopped taking on a passenger when this picture was taken and, while it’s hard to tell, the red car on the right isn’t even close to the bus stop.  Also, you would think that the passenger would LOVE to step up into a bus from the curb as opposed to stepping out into curb-slush and walking out into the middle of the street.  But noooooooooooooo let’s save the power steering fluid for something more difficult… budgets are tight these days!!!

Bus drivers, we know you have it tough… feeling bullied with everyone doing their best to speed around you and cut you off but REALLY???  You can’t pull that thing in any closer to the curb?

Pretty sure that your CUSTOMER would appreciate it if you’d pull over to the side of the road to pick up them up aaaaaaaaaaand….if you do that, the ever-growing line of cars that have been behind you for the last 5 stop lights and 9 bus stops, in which some are male drivers over the age of 65 and have to pee frequently, would be able to go around you and go on about our life’s work, YA JAGOFF!!!

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What In The Hell Mate???


For anyone that thinks we are alone in Port Authority misery, check this out.  This is from Perth, Australia.   Now keep in mind, they drive on the wrong side of the road down unda….. but…common sense still has a role… except when dealing with the local bus transportation BLOKES!

So this is rush hour.  This is a bus that had to pick up people from the LEFT and then the next move it had to make was get all the way over to the RIGHT for a right-hand turn!!!!!  Kinda reminds you of being in Downtown Pittsburgh at Stanwix Street when buses are screwing everything up …. getting a green traffic light and then stopping 10-feet through the light to drop of 60 passengers while everyone else WAITS to get through the light.

What logic goes into this stuff??  It just continues to feed our theory that “it takes 1 bus, to screw up traffic!

The sad part is, this maneuver made TOTAL SENSE for some “traffic engineer” to design this on paper or an APP.  Yeah, sure.  The bus has to cross 4 lanes of traffic during rush hour.  That should be just fine!!!!!

And don’t blame the driver, they would have never designed this on their own!!!!

We’re thinking the designer of this route is that SAME smart alec KID that grew up at Seven Springs skiing across all of the trails…..crossing Green Square trails over Black Diamond Trails.  Hell, why not throw in an “I stop for bingos!” Dodge Aries K car in the mix somewhere too???

Hey, like the German car engineers say to the Japanese car engineers…. the reason the German cars are better is because the German engineers actually DRIVE CARS!!!  Hey Transportation Engineers, ya might want to get on one of those buses and see how these routes REALLY GO.  And while you’re doing that, you will probably realize that the silly money-taking machines you’ve installed in the front of the bus take a dollar-bill slower than my Depression-experienced grandfather, Ya Jagoffs!!!!

Thanks to @beaup33p from Twitter in AUSTRALIA for the pic and for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!!!!!!

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The North Shore Connector Fail….AGAIN!

Well, sooooo many people (including us) have picked on the underground, 4-stop Pittsburgh subway track that’s called the North Shore Connector.  From the time the project was announced, thru to the day it left a bunch of runners stranded to.. well…we could go on and on… it’s been a topic of many jokes!

Sad to say.. here we go again.  KDKA’s John Shumway ran a story about the North Shore Connector breaking down underneath the river yesterday.  Some people had to walk, from the malfunctioning car,  to the North Side from underneath the river (which we admit might have been kind of cool).  Some excerpts from the the KD piece are:

“We were stuck down there for 45 minutes and the alarms were going off,”

The Port Authority’s Jim Ritchie says the train was stuck because of a mechanical failure, and to add insult to the situation, a false chemical alarm went off at the same time in the Gateway Station.

And the BESTEST one:

“For some reason, the communication to customer service was an hour behind; so they didn’t know for an hour that there was something to tell people waiting at the platform,” Ritchie (Port Authority Spokesperson) added.

(See full article here)

And the funny thing is, in an article about the SAME TOPIC in the “News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us,” they make it seem like this was no “big duh!”

Port Authority spokesman Jim Ritchie said there was no service from about 9:45  a.m. to 10 a.m., when officials started running a shuttle car back-and-forth on  the outbound tracks. Service was completely restored by 11 a.m.

Mr. Ritchie said delays were minimal and that the trains were about five minutes  off of schedule.

(See full article here)

By the way, one idea we have is to take an extra $200 Billion, Gazillion, Trillion dollars and add glass panels to the underground tunnel.  Then it will be like the “Pittsburgh Zoo Aquarium Indigenous Water Creature And Auto Junkyard” exhibit!!!  Those broken-down-car-walks wouldn’t be so bad!

Back to the original point, we don’t know what TOTALLY happened and we don’t know if people waited over an hour (like in the KDKA piece) or 5-minutes off schedule (like in the News Paper Whose Name Is Now Banned By Us story).  And we know that sometimes stuff breaks down at inopportune times.

But what we also know is.. once again this North Shore is the butt of news stories, stories about poor performance and poor communications to its customers and, HENCELY, a butt of jokes.

We’re asking can someone please, PLEASE, PA-LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE find people to take the jobs at the Port Authority Admin offices, like maybe the dudes that run the H-O train set-up at the Science Center, that actually KNOW HOW TO RUN A TRANSIT SYSTEM, Ya Jagoffs??????