Political Jagoffs

Jagoff License Plates Banned in PA

YJ-LicensePlateBanned

Yesterday, 96.1 Freak Show hosts, Mikey and Big Bob posted, on their website, the 100 license plates that are banned in Pennsylvania. One of them is the word Jagoff.

Here are some of the details:

PennDOT keeps an internal “Do Not Issue” list of about 10,000 different text/numbers combinations that it finds too rude, crude or generally inappropriate for the roadways of the Keystone State.

Among the banned: “UANOYME,” “NOHATRZ,” “YOMOMMA” and “CALL911.”

Full Article HERE

As an FYI, a couple of years ago, the Pittsburgh City Paper’s Chris Potter wrote an inside-back-cover full page article about the history of the word Jagoff.  It comes from Jagger Bush and has no swearing connotation whatsoever.

So, as of right now, we are officially banning the word “Pennsylvania” from our blog (until we need to use it to make a joke).  This place that borders Ohio, Maryland, New York, New Jersey and Delaware will now be known to us as “The Commonwealth Whose Name is Banned By Us.”

We need to ban together and figure out how we can get the word “Jagoff” on to license plates in “The Commonwealth Whose Name is Banned By Us.  Like this guy did:

YJ-LicensePlate

Might it be one of our followers getting a plate that says FFOGAJ so that , when you hold it in a mirror, you see it?

Second, we are going to suggest to the “”The Commonwealth Whose Name is Banned By Us” that additional terms/ phrases be IMMEDIATELY removed from the publication due to possible confusion for offensiveness:

  • Ho (as in Santa’s Ho-Ho-Ho or Hawaiian singer Don Ho or his sister who is indeed a Ho unless she married and changed her name)
  • Hoe (as in garden hoe)
  • Screw (as in a cylindrical rod incised with one or more helical or advancing spiral threads)

In the meantime, to the people running “The Commonwealth Whose Name is Banned By Us,”  LIGHTEN UP Ya Jagoffs!!!

In the comments section below, feel free to add OTHER potentially offensive words that should be banned OR other ways to get Jagoff on to a license plate.

 

Politician: Wasn’t Me! No, It Wasn’t ME!! OK, it was ME and I’m Sorry

You know those quick-edit video clips jammed with a bunch of sound bites from celebrities and politicians talking about the trouble they are in?  The sound of the clip goes like this, “I will be vindicated, “I have no question, that once all of the facts come out, I will be vindicated.” “These charges are ridiculous, this is more of a personal attack on me!” And so on… you get the point.  No matter how guilty these people are, they somehow muster up the ability to shamelessly say, with a straighter face than a Sunday morning TV millionaire evangelist, that they WILL be vindicated.

This is one of those stories and I’ll try to simplify it but it is complicated.

  • We all know the Marcellus Shale can be a controversial topic.. and this proves it.
  • A grandmother in Washington County was posting pro-drilling stuff on some websites.
  • A few anti-drilling people, started posting hateful/nasty things about grandma and others on the same websites.
  • These hateful things were using similar language patterns as posts previously made by Pa State Rep, Jesse White of Cecil.
  • KDKA News Investigator, Andy Sheehan, gets on the case but, quite frankly, Moe, Larry and Curly could have figured this one out.
  • The Internet addresses for the various anti-drilling posts, authored by various fake individuals, all pointed back to Rep. White’s computer.  But he denied it was him.
  • It took KDKA’s Andy about .0034 seconds to go to a computer, search the owner of an anti-drilling website called GasRootsPA.com, and see that Rep. White’s name owned the domain.  Rep. White said he knew nothing about it.
  • Within a few hours, the ownership of the Gas Roots site was changed from Rep. White’s name to yet ANOTHER fake name.

WHEEEEEEW!!  Getting exhausted writing all the details, you can go see the full KDKA story, including Rep. White on video, HERE!

Spoiler alert!  This ends with Rep. Jesse White of Cecil, issuing a statement, shortly after, that he made the posts!!!

Haaaa..haaaaa..haaaaaaa… SNORT…haaaaaa… pee-trickle……haaaaaa!

Who woulda THUNK IT?????  I live for this kind of stuff

The saddest part of this whole thing is that this guy is representing people at the State level and he left a trail of evidence that even Helen Keller could have found!!!  It’s like a kid:

Mom: Did you poop in your pants?

Kid: No!

Mom: Are you sure?

Kid: Yep!

Mom: What smells like poop in the back of your pants?

Kid: I dunno!

Representative White version….

Sheehan:  Is this you writing this?

White: No!

Sheehan: Are you sure?

White: Yep!

Sheehan: What smells like poop then?

White: I dunno!

Sheehan:  You’re a liar!

White: I know what you are, but what am I? Naah..naah!

By the way, I looked up the phrase, ” I know what you are, but what am I?” on the Urban Dictionary.  It definition is a PERFECT description of what Andy Sheehan did to Jesse White:

A complete fail of a comeback… basically… you would use it when you get verbally bitch slapped your face is all red… and you cannot come up with a comeback.

Hey WITTY-White, nobody said ya had to be a MENSA member to be in the House of Representatives but, when we send someone to Harrisburg to rep us, we SURELY hope that you’re smarter than the plastic name tag on your office door.  Please do us a favor, if you happen to resign from the State seat, which you should do, please don’t bring in a note that says something like, “Jesse is not able to make it to work today.  He is sick.  Signed, Jesse’s Mum” Ya Jagoff!

 

NOTE: Hey grandma Janice, we never encourage any nastiness so, if you want to get back at WITTY-White, start using the photo below as your profile pic for all of your posts!

 

Election Jagoff Post

Well… we were up all night! Not watching the returns but SCANNING the news for some type of election day Jagoffery and, well, our man Dave Bondy, WPXI Reporter, found a great story.

Sure, we could have posted about the people complaining about needing an I.D. vs. no voter I.D., machines going crazy or long lines. etc, etc!! But HELLS no!! We needed something more RIDICULOUS.

Like the WPXI story about a polling place in West View opening up 45-minutes late due to the election judge GETTING LOST!!!!!!!! Here’s a quote from the WPXI story,

“The polling place said they couldn’t find a judge or the judge got lost or some bloody thing,” said Mary Sweeney. “Then she got lost going from the North Side to where she picked up the black box coming here.”

Channel 11′s Dave Bondy spoke to election workers who confirmed the delay.

WHUT??????? The election judge was late? Yeppir. And it wasn’t like there was some kind of major “tree down” or “accident on 28” deal!! The judge got LOST!

And then on Dave Bondy’s Facebook page some followers had good hearts trying to defend the whole being-late-for-getting-lost thing writing things like, “What? you never got lost getting some place for work?

Well of COURSE most of us have gotten lost going to work at some point in our lives BUT it wasn’t when something as huge as this was going down: one of THE most emotional elections in our life time, that takes place ONCE every 4 years where nearly every media outlet was predicting an overwhelming voter turnout!!!!!

Do ya think the judge might have wanted to take a little dry run to the polling place prior to Election Day?? It’s not like he/she didn’t have any advanced notice. We’ve been watching Bull S@#T political ads for 2 years.

Hey Election Judge, since we don’t know your name we’re gonna give you some random initials like…..let’s see.. how about, G.P.S.?

So, Judge GPS, just as an FYI, there is another Presidential Election in 4 years. This is a great time to put a West Penn AAA membership on your Christmas Wish List. That way, you have 3 years and 363 days to order some TRIP TIKS and learn how to get to every potential polling place. Hell, maybe the Apple Map program will even be fixed by then!

Getting a 1,458 day heads up might even give ya enough time to also figure out where the closest WalMart is to each polling place! That way you’ll even know where to go in an emergency, like when the polling place runs out of that nasty, cheap hard tack candy, Ya Jagoff!!!

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