News People Jagoffs

Taking A Bite Outta Crime or….

 

If you think that picture of the dentures loaded with tobacco is disgusting (cuz looking at it kind of give ME a little puke in the back of my throat), imagine the North Strabane police offer that got HIT by them!!  Yep, HIT BY THEM.. when they were THROWN at him full of tobacco and gum!!!

The story summary:

  • There’s a wreck near William Moody’s house.  (Real name and well deserved!)
  • Bystanders top to render aid and park in William’s driveway.
  • Before all is clear, William wants to get out and take the Lil’ lady to dinner.  But he can’t get out because some Good Samaritan is parked in his driveway
  • Moody gets all “MOODY” (sorry for that)
  • An argument with the police starts.  He gets cuffed.  He fakes passing out from a “heart attack” then goes nuts again!
  • This time he throws his watch and dentures at the police and paramedics!
  • He posted bail and now he’s at home sulking with the…. wait for it…”MOODY BLUES!” (Sorry for that one too)

See the KDKA-TV Video HERE

First thing, Moody-Dudey, nice teeth!!  You might have a new gig for retirement… taking over for McGruff the Crime Dog…ya know.. the whole, “take a bite outta crime” thing?  But you’d have to PROMISE to keep your cool and keep your teeth in!!

Secondly, you were going to eat dinner with those NASTY DENTURES?????  They look like they’re growing their very own Penguins playoff beard!  Our suggestion, while you’re waiting for your hearing, ya might want to take a ShopVac and a jet sprayer to those dentures, Ya Jagoff!

 

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Jet Blue Pilot Jagoff

 

Hey, we usually have a video posted here on Wednesdays. But, we had to get this posted for sure.

Breaking Jagoff News!!

The other night on a Jet Blue flight to Boston, after the Pens/Bruins game, a baby was apparently crying and the pilot made a comment that Sidney Crosby must be on the plane. No doubt the, ready for prime time, Boston media, headed home with smiles bigger than me when I score my one goal per year in pick-up hockey, got some joy outta that. A couple of them tweeted about it as you see above.

Well!! As Sister Anecita would say to someone “clowning around” in her religion class…..”So you think your’e funny mister? Let’s see how funny you can be in the Principal’s Office!”

Jesus… the Bruins beat the snot out of the Pens and that’s all you can muster up? There’s good reason why your a pilot and not a writer for David Letterman!

Now some Pittsburghers say the guy should be fired or that we should boycott the airlines or… blah.. blah.. blah!

We say, get Sid to write a check tomorrow to buy the entire Jet Blue airline and then do an episode of Under Cover Boss with that guy. Better yet, get Sister Anecita on that plane and let her know that Mr. Pilot thinks he’s a clown! His knuckles and mental state will NEVER be the same.

Hey “Jet Blue JazzBo,” keep up those high-level jokes and maybe a real airline like Southwest will hire ya! Better yet, you might even get a cable show, “The Cash Cabin!” where people get to play trivia questions for money during their trip and get kicked out of the emergency exit when they miss 3 questions. (Get it?? A little take on Cash Cab!! lol!! I should be writing pilot jokes!!)

But while you’re waiting for that cable show offer, how about just sticking to the script and telling everyone when you’ve turned the seat belt light on or off and when we might be able to look out the left window to see the Great Lakes. And while you’re on Auto Pilot, check out Sid’s regular season stats (even injured) and how they compare to any Bruin stats, Ya Jagoff!!

 

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Politician: Wasn’t Me! No, It Wasn’t ME!! OK, it was ME and I’m Sorry

You know those quick-edit video clips jammed with a bunch of sound bites from celebrities and politicians talking about the trouble they are in?  The sound of the clip goes like this, “I will be vindicated, “I have no question, that once all of the facts come out, I will be vindicated.” “These charges are ridiculous, this is more of a personal attack on me!” And so on… you get the point.  No matter how guilty these people are, they somehow muster up the ability to shamelessly say, with a straighter face than a Sunday morning TV millionaire evangelist, that they WILL be vindicated.

This is one of those stories and I’ll try to simplify it but it is complicated.

  • We all know the Marcellus Shale can be a controversial topic.. and this proves it.
  • A grandmother in Washington County was posting pro-drilling stuff on some websites.
  • A few anti-drilling people, started posting hateful/nasty things about grandma and others on the same websites.
  • These hateful things were using similar language patterns as posts previously made by Pa State Rep, Jesse White of Cecil.
  • KDKA News Investigator, Andy Sheehan, gets on the case but, quite frankly, Moe, Larry and Curly could have figured this one out.
  • The Internet addresses for the various anti-drilling posts, authored by various fake individuals, all pointed back to Rep. White’s computer.  But he denied it was him.
  • It took KDKA’s Andy about .0034 seconds to go to a computer, search the owner of an anti-drilling website called GasRootsPA.com, and see that Rep. White’s name owned the domain.  Rep. White said he knew nothing about it.
  • Within a few hours, the ownership of the Gas Roots site was changed from Rep. White’s name to yet ANOTHER fake name.

WHEEEEEEW!!  Getting exhausted writing all the details, you can go see the full KDKA story, including Rep. White on video, HERE!

Spoiler alert!  This ends with Rep. Jesse White of Cecil, issuing a statement, shortly after, that he made the posts!!!

Haaaa..haaaaa..haaaaaaa… SNORT…haaaaaa… pee-trickle……haaaaaa!

Who woulda THUNK IT?????  I live for this kind of stuff

The saddest part of this whole thing is that this guy is representing people at the State level and he left a trail of evidence that even Helen Keller could have found!!!  It’s like a kid:

Mom: Did you poop in your pants?

Kid: No!

Mom: Are you sure?

Kid: Yep!

Mom: What smells like poop in the back of your pants?

Kid: I dunno!

Representative White version….

Sheehan:  Is this you writing this?

White: No!

Sheehan: Are you sure?

White: Yep!

Sheehan: What smells like poop then?

White: I dunno!

Sheehan:  You’re a liar!

White: I know what you are, but what am I? Naah..naah!

By the way, I looked up the phrase, ” I know what you are, but what am I?” on the Urban Dictionary.  It definition is a PERFECT description of what Andy Sheehan did to Jesse White:

A complete fail of a comeback… basically… you would use it when you get verbally bitch slapped your face is all red… and you cannot come up with a comeback.

Hey WITTY-White, nobody said ya had to be a MENSA member to be in the House of Representatives but, when we send someone to Harrisburg to rep us, we SURELY hope that you’re smarter than the plastic name tag on your office door.  Please do us a favor, if you happen to resign from the State seat, which you should do, please don’t bring in a note that says something like, “Jesse is not able to make it to work today.  He is sick.  Signed, Jesse’s Mum” Ya Jagoff!

 

NOTE: Hey grandma Janice, we never encourage any nastiness so, if you want to get back at WITTY-White, start using the photo below as your profile pic for all of your posts!

 

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