News People Jagoffs

Afterhours Golf Cart Madness

YJ-GolfCarts

Well, you know what it’s like, right?  You’re hanging with your buddies. A few drinks happen. Ya start to argue about the Steelers’ chances in the 2015 Super Bowl, have heated discussions about the Pens new coach and how argue how one if you’s an #@$hole because he thinks Pedro Alvarez has to go.  Before that conversation turns into a fight, you change the conversation with the words:

Ya know what we should do?

And then everything that follows is  usually as series of bad choices but, heck, what have you got to lose BECAUSE YOU’RE IN THE 11TH GRADE!!!!

But these guys, mid-20′s guys thought it was a good idea to ALLEGEDLY have a few drinks and take some golf carts for a ride at 10:30-ish at night.  At some point, they get out on the road, crash and…..the best part…. a neighborhood guy chases them down by RUNNING!!! Haaaaaaa… haaaaaa….(pee trickle)…..snort… haaaaa.

See WPXI Story from Cara Sapida (@WPXICara)

This turns out to be one of those embarrassing stories that you and your buddies make a pact that you’ll NEVER tell anyone what happened EXCEPT for the fact that……the older neighbor chased your 24-year old ARSE down and called the police and then somehow it got on the news.

Boys, since ya seem to like drinking and driving golf carts (which is what most people do despite the fact that they call it GOLFING) here’s a joke you can tell the boys during your hot-dog turn the next time you’re out.

Q: Why does a golfer where two pair of pants?

A: In case he gets a hole in one!”

What’s that you say?  That joke is childish?

To that I say, no more childish than 3 mid-20 dudes who let a few beers ALLEGEDLY convince them that joy-riding in golf carts 10:30 at night is good idea, Ya Jagoffs!

Aggressive “Drivers” Drop the Golf Gloves

YJ-AngryGolf

This is one of those stories where you’re not sure if it came from Florida or Fayette County.  Unfortunately, this one is from Fayette County and it has made the national news.

A 42 year old guy and a 63 year old guy were golfing at Springdale Golf Course in South Union Township on Sunday of all days… a day of peace! They started to argue about some water hazard stuff on the 5th hole and, by the 7th hole, they were going all “Mrs. Tiger Woods” on each other ALLEGEDLY.

See story on KDKA.com

So to sum it up, these guys got T’d off at each other. Now there’s a wedge between their friendship.  No word on if one said something to the other about their old bags however, they did get to a point where there was some serious clubbing going down. Now it appears as if their friendship is hitting a rough patch.

Boys…golf is supposed to be a gentleman’s game but, then again, maybe hip checks would finally add some excitement to the Sunday afternoon golf matches.  Every golfer could be allotted one hip check to use on a tee and a green during any given match. Just make sure you don’t leave your cleats on the check.  That would be a two-minute charging penalty.

Better go back to hitting through the windmills and over the waterfalls at the local putt-putt course cuz your conduct is unbecoming of a golfer… but.. it may also be PAR for Fayette County!  Thanks for embarrassing the rest of us in the national news.  We hear that John Daly wants you on his ProAM MMA golf tour, Ya Jagoffs!

Couple Tries Hard But No “Best in Show”

YJ-DogLeash

 

A Washington County, Pennsylvania couple did their best to NOT embarrass the rest of us from Western Pennsylvania by moving their private activities to West Virginia but…..

BJ Geardello and her doggy “best friend,” Robert Deyell, took their kinky stuff to a busy intersection of US 40 in the Triadelphia.  He was naked crawling on all fours with her in a robe walking him on a dog leash.

See KDKA-TV HERE

Ya see.. today, everyone has a camera phone and.. well….it ended up on the internet.

As it turns out, both admitted to just being into some kinky sex.  Police actually checked over Robert to see if he had been injured from crawling and from the shackles.  He was reported to be fine other than your standard Labrador Retriever hip dysplasia symptoms.

The best part of this story was how fast the West Virginians were tossing this story back across the border like a hot potato.

(Clear your throat and read this in your best stereotypical West Virginian old uncle voice) “Wazn’t one of ahrs!”

Despite BJ and Robert’s best efforts to cloak this activity in West Virginia any-thing-goes lore,  the West Virginia big-wigs were FAST to point out that these two were from Pennsylvania.

BJ and Robert… God bless ya on your desire to stay active and have some fun.  But paleeeeze, if you’re gonna do that again, could you please take it inside a Florida or West Virginia WalMart where that kind of stuff is standard practice and nobody would even THINK about taking your pictures or turning you in, Ya Jagoffs?