Motorcycle Jagoffs

Guest Blog- Pgh Comedian Greg Parks

(Simulated Jagoff Pic)

Time for one more ”guest blog” as we give some Pittsburgh Comedians

a chance to express themselves!

Feel free to leave comments for Greg below.

By Greg Parks (Pittsburgh Comedian)

I wish harm to no man, or woman. However, motorcyclists seem to ask for it, yet ask us to be aware of their presence on the road. I know you’ve seen them, “Share the Road” “Look Twice Motorcyclists Are Out,” or “Watch for Motorcycles,” signs in yards. Yet as we travel the highways and byways of this great land, it is the motorcyclist that is taking advantage of our kindness.

You’ve seen them. You’re stuck in traffic, and here comes a motorcycle weaving through the parking lot that was Rt. 51. Am I able to do this? No. First of all the man van is too wide to fit through most areas, and the wife won’t allow it. However, if I could, I’m sure one of Pittsburgh’s finest would not hesitate to pull me over and hand me a citation.

When was the last time you saw a motorcycle pulled over for weaving through traffic?

Maybe we wouldn’t need all these signs and awareness campaigns, if you’d just follow the rules of the road, Ya Jagoffs!

You can follow Greg Parks on Twitter and his own blog HERE

Also follow the website Pittsburgh Comedy to see when he and other comedians will be performing live. 

“Your phone’s ringing, Ya Jagoff!”  Free Ring Tones

Click thumbnail below.

Motorcycle Jagoff #1

 

Ok, before ya call me an anti-motorcycle Jagoff, here are a few things:

1) I don’t do motorcycles (too many days in EMS scraping riders up off the pavement) but I am not like an ex-smoker that berates ya if you have one

2) I do believe in helmets, (too many days in EMS scraping riders up off the pavement) but its your choice not mine

3) I do believe that there are a lot of Jagoff riders out there but there are just as many car driving jagoffs that don’t know how to function when they see a motorcycle in traffic

Given that, I received this photo and the following note, “This guy is riding a bike no helmet on his cell phone. Maybe he likes Big Ben.”

Well, I don’t know who in this town likes/don’t likes Big Ben these days but I DO know that, if you’re in a car on your cell phone, and you start talking with your hands or reach over to put your turn signal on, you can steer with your knees! Not sure WHAT ya do on a motorcycle in this instance.  All that I know is, this guy’s about as UNPROTECTED as Charlie Sheen in a roomful of hookers with oozing sores.

So Mr. Motorcycle guy, before ya get yourself into one of those “Big-Ben-type-Slide-your-motorcycle-under-another-the-front-of-a-car-Get-full-body-length-road-rash-and-Come-close-to-separating-your-head-from-the-rest-of-your-body-Scaring-the-@$$@#-out-of-other-drivers” accidents, HANG UP THAT PHONE!  Winning Lady Gaga tickets from 96.1 FM isn’t THAT important,  YA JAGOFF!!!!

Thanks to NicoleS from our email subscription list for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher!!!