Media Jagoffs

Dec 12 2011

Big Ben “Phony In Seattle???”

Watch this 60-second video from Seattle before you read any further! 

(No seriously, watch it.) 

So these two have a sports talk show in Seattle.  Clearly, there are no RESPECTABLE sports topics coming from their own city so they decided to talk about Ben Roethlesberger because:

a)  Pittsburgh just played Seattle?

b)  Pittsburgh is SCHEDULED to play Seattle?

c)  Brock and Salk ratings are sooooooo high that they are FORCED to offer their high-end sports analysis to a NATIONAL audience instead of just talking about Seattle high-school football

c-and-a-half)  There aren’t any other NATIONAL sports topics that are bigger than Big Ben’s ankle

d)  None of the above

While you may have been schooled that the ”best answer” on a test like this is usually “C,” you would be incorrect if you guessed it this time.  The answer “D” is the only acceptable answer and here’s Jagoff Test Answer Key:

a)  Pittsburgh just played Seattle?

Nope!  But, by the amount of complaining, whining and sore feelings they have in coffee town about the Steelers, you’d THINK Super Bowl XL was last weekend (insert beaten dead horse here).

b)  Pittsburgh is SCHEDULED to play Seattle?

No on this one too!  Same reason as “A” and we’re wondering if most of Seahawk fans are former Southerners and also still harbor Civil War ill-feelings.

c) Brock and Salk ratings are sooooooo high that they are FORCED to offer their high-end sports analysis to a NATIONAL audience instead of just talking about Seattle high-school football

NOPE!  As a matter of fact, our silly little blog has more Facebook followers than THEY do and they have a full-time radio show.  Guess nobody really cares what they say.

c-and-a-half)  There aren’t any other NATIONAL sports topics that are bigger than Big Ben’s ankle

Of course this was a trick question. TOPIC HINTS FOR THIS WEEK: Heisman Trophy Winner, Penn State, Cinci/Xavier Basketball Fight (FYI, got these from your own ESPN.com website.  You might want to use it some time.)

d)  None of the above

Here’s the one thing we noticed in watching the video…. BROCK (the guy on the right) has nothing to say..he’s like the little “Hey, George!  Ahhh, Hey George!” cartoon dog.

(Use your own DUH voice here)

“Ahhhh, sure Salky, whatever You say, aaaaahhhhh I’m not a REAL talkshow guy, I just say yes to whatever YOU say!”

Hey Salk and Sulk, if you guys had any credibility, you would have realized that, even Ben’s teammates, who weren’t really buddy-buddy with him in the past, recognized his efforts of playing hurt.  If you weren’t interested in just being YouTube Stars in Steeler Nation, you would have educated yourself that Ben’s in a walking boot at this point.  Then again, what would you guys know about injuries unless, you bump one of “We’re Big Stars Here In Seattle” capped teeth or botoxed-enhanced lips on your microphone.

So make a career choice boys, either get YouTube famous by doing some planking or stick to what you know, like a review of the high school playoff game between Skyline and Skyview,  Ya Jagoffs!

NOTE:  We never encourage boycotting Jagoffs.  This case is no different.  We suggest, going to the Brock and Sulk Facebook page and leaving them a “Pittsburgh Note.”  They need the LIKES anyway.  Do not swear but feel free to use the vernacular of this website in your post!!! Click the Spike and Chester pic below to get to their Fan Page. 

Thanks to our Honorary Jagoff Catcher and Facebookk follower, Michael E. Metros, for this post.

Last Day to order your Christmas Jagoff shirt.. click the pick!

 

Share

By Jagoff Catcher • Football, Media Jagoffs • 1 • Tags: , , , ,

Sep 29 2011

The News Is Coming! “Honey, Where’s My Favorite Shirt?”

Here’s another week where we are posting all 5 days!!!  But NO WORRIES, keep your submissions coming to yaJagoff@comcast.net.

So unless your part of an early morning raid or a sudden emergency, me thinks that the news folks call you up and ask if they can come and talk to you.  Once you agree, they probably give you an approximate time when they will show up to PUT YOU ON CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don’t know this story, CLICK HERE, but basically, Joe Russell and his honey-bun had a wedding planned.  He lost his job, the mother-in-law lost her deposit on the wedding hall, on and on, and on.  And, like MOST of young-and-in-love couples who fall on hard times early in their marriage, they planned a few date-nights TO CLIMB TELEPHONE POLES AND STEAL COPPER WIRE!!!!!!

(By the way, they got $18 for their copper efforts.)

But whatever, whatever, cuz, the day the news crew shows up to get a statement from Joe, he seems to not be able to find a shirt, not even a DIRTY ONE crumpled in the bottom of a hamper!  Oh, and he can’t find a comb either.  Now, we’re not only forced to hear his hard-luck excuse, but we’re forced to watch those 12 hairs in the middle of his chest, dance in the wind WHILE he tells the story.    (Thank God she didn’t ask him to do jumping jacks!)

Hey, we’re no “Ken Dolls” but, if the news showed up at the Ya Jagoff World Headquarters, I gotta tell ya, I wouldn’t even answer the door until I put on one of my nicer Penguins golf shirts and a Steelers ball cap!

Joe, the news pic of you and the Mrs. coming out of the church all dressed up and married is AWESOME.  Unfortunately, that mental image was washed away out of our minds when we were flushing our eyeballs out with rubbing alcohol after seeing you shirtless on the news.  Maybe the crime you SHOULD have committed was STEALING YOUR WEDDING TUX so you had some clothes for your 15-minutes of fame.

As our Jagoff Catcher for this story said when he emailed us, “How about the next time you’re interviewed on TV, you put a shirt on, Ya Jagoff!”

By the way, here’s an EARLIER Jagoff post of a guy who OVERDRESSED for the news (Click the Photo)

And DON’T forget to order your “Don’t Be A Jagoff” T-shirt, we’re really close to our $1,000 donation to Breast Cancer Research (Click Photo)

Thanks to Honorary Jagoff Catcher, Twitter Follwer and Facbook follower Dan Casciato for bringing this to our attention!

Share

By Jagoff Catcher • Media Jagoffs • 0 • Tags: , ,

Apr 22 2011

Move the Civic Arena! Did KDKA Actually Air That?

(Click HERE for Link To Story If You Must)

 

I HATE it when I have to call out one of our beloved media outlets but……

KDKA-TV ran this story about retired engineer, Tom Galownia, of Cecil Township who suggests we could MOVE THE CIVIC ARENA!!!!!!!!!!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.  Ok….. I’m taking a breath and wiping my laugh-crying eyes. I gotta control myself cuz I think I just “sharted” while I was laughing.

But wait!!  Not sure if I am laughing more at this concept, or the fact that SOMEONE at KDKA thought this was “news,” OR the hat and bow tie ensemble Tom chose to wear DESPITE the fact that he KNEW the news was coming to take his picture!!!!!!!!!

According to “engineer” Galownia, to move the arena “all ya need is a 500-ton crane!”  Yeah, what the heck?  That’s all ya need!

Tommy-boy, you are a cute, senior man and probably someone’s grandpap so I MUST respect that and go easy.  But I am completely perplexed as to how you convinced, typically respectable, KDKA-TV to run this story AND the fact that they even followed up the idea with a real architect discussing how UN-feasible this is!

Tom and KDKA-TV, new idea and story to cover: since the Pirates did so well at Three Rivers Stadium, let’s rebuild the 3 Rivers Stadium in Bill Mazeroski’s driveway.  We can ask everyone who kept an old stadium seat, a swatch of turf or a memorabalia chunk of concrete to return them ASAP via those US Mail “one size ships all” boxes.  Within 10-15 years we will have MOST of the stadium back together AND a Pirates winning season.  In the meantime, KDKA, could we please keep the engineering story topics credible, like interviewing Choo-Choo Charlie The Engineer of Good n Plenty fame,  YA JAGOFFS!!!!

NOTE: Mr. Galownia, please read John Steigerwald’s story in the Washington Observer Reporter about dressing appropriately – you may be THE ONE PERSON, that his story applies too!!!!!!

Share

By Jagoff Catcher • Media Jagoffs, News People Jagoffs • 0 • Tags: ,

Apr 18 2011

Steigy “The Elder” Fell Off of His Rocker

This took me a few days to write because I was outta town and REALLY had to let this sink in.

Former TV Sports guy, former radio sports guy, John Steigerwald, THE OTHER “STEIGY,” wrote an asinine article for the Washington Observer last week entitled: “Know When You’ve Outgrown the Uniform.”  (I am purposely not putting a link to the article because, clicking to the article gets him more views than it deserves.)

The premise of the article is that, if you’re and adult and you STILL wear your fav team’s jersey to the ballpark, stadium or arena, you’re an immature idiot.  AND, if you where it in enemy territory like the Giants’ baseball fan did at the Dodgers’ home opener, you should kind of EXPECT to get beat up.

Article Excerpt:

Remember when it was the kids who were wearing the team jerseys to games? It was a common sight to see an adult male coming through the turnstile dressed as a regular human being with a kid dressed in a “real” jersey holding his hand.

Cute.

Are the 42-year-olds who find it necessary to wear their replica jerseys to a road game, those kids who are now fathers who haven’t grown up?

Hey Steigy the elder, I realize that the older-than-college-aged drunk people that paint their faces, hairy beer bellies and tongues and die their hair are Jagoffs and “crusin’ for a brusin” as my dad would say.  But, a team jersey? I thought ya called that kind of thing TEAM SPIRIT? Just like wearing a team jacket, waving a towel, and booing the refs when the call is against MY team!

99% of the fans know the difference between being a player IN UNIFORM on the field and a spectator in my FAVORITE TEAM’s jersey.  I guess the next time a Mount Lebanaon High School parent travels to Upper St. Clair for a football game wearin’ their “team jacket” and their 6″ wide lapel photo-button  of their kid in a footbal stance, the USC parents have the right to kick the holy crap outta them for being immature?

Steigy, yer outta date for television AND radio these days and this article shows it.  And if ya need help getting back up to yer rocking chair let me know.  I’ll tell the parmedics to wear their “I LOVE STEIGY” t-shirts when they show up to help ya up from the floor, YA JAGOFF!

NOTE:  I’ve seen ya around town and that promo photo of you is from WAAAAY long time ago!  Maybe you should be grow up and recognize your maturity and use a CURRENT photo of yerself!  Oh wait, maybe you are trying to appear LESS MATURE!

Share

By Jagoff Catcher • John Steigerwald, Media Jagoffs • 3 • Tags: ,

Mar 13 2011

CNN Deserves a Jagoff Post – Japan Earthquake Video

News people have a tough job.  Especially when they go live or have to fill for time.  But sometimes, I wonder if they really are educated or if they are just attractive mouths!

CNN, like all other outlets, is showing video of Japan earthquake in action.  Fascinating stuff.  So they roll this video of a conference in a Japanese hotel.  Anchor explains that the crowd turns CHAOTIC and we see everyone yelling and scattering for safety.  Then he says, “Let’s listen to the what they’re saying…”

Hey, Mr. Goodhair Anchor Guy, FYI: They’re all yellin’ in JAPANESE!!!!  I have NO CLUE what they’re saying, YA JAGOFF!!!

(Reminds me of a time, BEFORE THIS SITE WENT LIVE, when a local Saturday morning anchor announced “Breaking News” that there was an accident in the Squirrell Hill Tunnel and “our chopper is over the scene.”  Really??????  What will I see?)

Share

By Jagoff Catcher • Media Jagoffs, News People Jagoffs • 1 • Tags: , ,

1 2