Lottery Jagoffs

That Power Ball Joker At Work!!!!!

Last night was the huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumongous Power Ball drawing for more than a half-billion dollars.  Given that the chances of winning were 175 million to 1, its more than likely that none of us won the big prize.

Which means we all have to head in to work.  And when you get work, it is probably going to take .00000029 seconds for “THAT GUY,” the work jokester, to shake his head and say, “Well, I guess YOU didn’t win EITHER!” as he’s trying to be “THAT FUNNY GUY!” at work.

You know “THAT GUY.”  He’s the same guy that says things like, “Cold enough for ya out there?” “Hot enough for ya out there?

So NO, funny guy!  I didn’t win.  And YES, I am here at work and YES, it is cold enough out there for and the the 2 of those things mixed with the tension of the Steelers plaing Baltimore this weekend WITHOUT BIG BEN make me TENSE so why don’t you get outta my work space and go do the ONLY job you’re competent for……arranging the company Steelers’ game poll!

And make sure I get good numbers this week, Ya Jagoff!!!

If you DID win a few extra bucks last night, don’t trade it in on more lottery tickets…

get yourself one of our NEW HOODIES 

 Click the Pic For Info.

“Gus” The Second Most Famous Groundhog In Pa – “RETIRED”


In the old steel mill days, to “RETIRE” meant, you had completed many, many years of hard work and you were looking forward to getting a company watch and purchasing your first Cadillac that you could use to meet up with your OTHER retired buddies at McDonald’s for coffee every morning.

In the context of current-day terms and coupled with the names of Jim Krenn (“retired” from WDVE after 20+ years), Bruce Arians (“retired” Steelers Offensive Coach) and now “Gus” the Pa Lottery Spokesperson for the past 8 years (really?  has it been that long?), the word “RETIRED” seems to be somewhat controversial.

Now don’t get us wrong.. we have absolutely no feelings for “Gus.”  As a matter of fact, while he was billed as “The second most famous groundhog in Pennsylvania,” we looked at him as probably the “first most CREEPIEST lottery spokesman EVER!”

We’ve done some homework and, it turns out, Steelers President, Art Rooney had “no comment” about Gus’s retirement which makes us suspicious.  Pirates owner Bob Nutting was also pretty tight-lipped which makes us even MORE suspicious.  Is “Gus” going to work for the Buccos and Steelers as an underground groundskeeper??????????  Possibly he will work during games popping up through the game turf and tripping opposing players at in-opportune times.

Here’s some of the corporate speak sparking the controversy:

Executive Director Todd Rucci said at a legislative hearing Tuesday that the television campaign featuring Gus ended this month, although he will still appear on the lottery website for the time being.

Wait!!!  Isn’t that a similar statement to what was said about Jim Krenn at WDVE??????

Speaking of Jim Krenn, here’s another rumor we cannot confirm at press time….

Gus and Krenn…. Your WACKY Morning Breakfast FLAKES on BOB-FM”

As an aside, one of our fav comments from our lottery post the other day came from “Chip” who said:

“The lottery ticket… the certificate that identifies those that never took a stats class in school.”

Hey PA Lottery, as Gus’s replacement,  we suggest you simply hire someone who transposes numbers occasionally by accident….like some retired accountant with cataracts that will, at times, innocently screw up the decimal point on the promoted prize amount…. i.e.. accidentally lists the prize as $100 million instead of the actual amount of $10 million.  Because it’s not about the spokesperson that makes MOST of us take a chance on the lottery… it’s when the prize gets over $100M that pushes most of us REASONABLE people to become UNREASONABLY CONFIDENT and free up a dollar or two and take a chance, Ya Jagoffs!!!


Pittsburgh Irish Shirts (click pic for store)


Hey! Let’s Play The Lottery!!!

We know that this makes us just sound grumpy and whiny.  However, sometimes we just LIKE to be grumpy and whiny vs. being snarky.

I’m thirsty, I want to get home, I just need a quick drink.  So I pull into a “convenience” store where beef jerky, Vienna finger cookies and PowerAde are more expensive than they SHOULD be but I am supposed to be able to CONVENIENTLY walk in, purchase what I want and leave.

But wait!!!!  Someone wants to play the lottery.  And not just a quick-pick.  It seems that they have had some dreams that equate to some numbers and then they saw a number on a billboard on the way there that made them think of their high school graduation date, but they’re not sure that number is dead on, so they box it and then ask for the number plus one and the number minus 1.  But wait!!!  What are those little cool valentine thingies?  Oh, they’re scratch offs?  They’re cute!  How much are they?  Give me 5, oh wait, I want to play 1 more number so only give me 4 valentine thingies.  Are the Valentine lottery scratch off thingies half off like the valentine candy?  Oh, shoot!  I never played these before…. how many do I scratch off.. how do I win?

But wait on MORE time!!!!! There’s only 1 person working at the counter!!!  So the rest of us who want a newspaper or a 99-cent Arizona Tea and have the correct change must wait while this person goes through their lottery gyrations.

By the way, we get the whole lottery thing.  We’re like a lot of people… we’re on the “401K-Powerball” retirement plan.. which means you don’t believe a $30 million dollar jackpot is worth a buck but, once it gets over $100 million, you’re looking for lottery-pool partners at work!!!

Not sure who to blame here… the person that thinks they own the counter-time as if they are picking out perfume at Macy’s for a new girlfriend whom they know NOTHING about or the Management of the NOT-SO-CONVENIENT-CONVENIENCE-STORE who puts only one person on duty during rush hour!!!

Either way, Mr. Lottery Guy, the fact that you saw a camel does NOT mean that 4-5-8 is going to hit on the lottery tonight OR any other combination of those three integers.

And Counter-Guy, (who’s face we shadowed in the above pic), when there are 8 people that want 1 item or to pay for gas, and you KNOW Mr. Lottery-Numbers-Picking-Guy, who is used to putting on his underwear correctly ONLY by knowing that the yellow stains go in the front and the brown stains go in the back, wants to spend time picking numbers, MOVE THE OTHER PEOPLE THRU THE LINE FIRST!!!

All that WE know is, we would like our stop at the CONVENIENCE STORE to be CONVENIENT, Ya Jagoffs!


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