Inanimate Jagoffs

Apr 9 2013

Talkin’ Password Jagoffs

Today we have a guest blog post form Elista B of “100.7 Star”

You can listen to her from 7pm-Midnight

Just when you finally remember that password to an account… “POP Reminder” time to change the password! WHAT? I just wrote that one down on the back of a cereal box and now I need to remember a new one? Are you kidding me?

Then you go to try to track your old password down because you forgot it and this fuzzy screen pops up!

Now you gotta decipher whatever is in that shady 3D box of doom.

Am I the only one who cannot read these? I have 20/20 vision and STILL cannot correctly “Guess what’s in the box!”

This is not a guessing game. I can’t remember my password now ******* give it to me!

Rant over.

Jagoff Catcher Note:  Our ending so that Elista doesn’t get in trouble… “This is not a guessing game. I can’t remember my password now ******* give it to me, Ya jagoff!!”

You can follow Elista on Twitter and all of her “100.7″  Star blog posts HERE

Don’t Forget To Order Your  Own T-shirt

Click the pic below to see the store.

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Mar 15 2013

Thin Mints – What Needs To Be Said!

Photo Credit:wtae.com

 

Ok….. I give up!

My local Girl Scout cookie “Dealer” is driving a new BMW.  Apparently the entire troupe was able to get themselves “troupe vehicles” and I’m pretty sure that I personally funded all of them!!!

And what is it about, eating the first one… telling yourself that you WILL have some self control… then you eat two more then wrap up the sleeve, kind of, and then within 28.6 seconds the sleeve is completely emptied.

Girl Scouts Thin Mint Cookies, why in the world do you taste-so-great-Make-my-breath-feel-so-fresh-but-Make-my-teeth-so-black-And-make-me-addicted-to-you-so-much-that-I-actually-OFFER-to make-a-trip-to-the-grocery-store-WITH-A-COUPON-WALLET-for-feminine-products-just-in-case-there’s-a-slim-chance-that-a-group-of-Girl-Scouts-are-selling-cookies-at-a-table-out-front-cuz-I-just-ate-through-my-first-22-boxes-that-were-supposed-to-last-me-until-September, Ya Jagoffs!

 

Click the pic to see how to order your own t-shirt!!!

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Feb 8 2013

Those Jagoff Produce/Bakery Plastic Bags

YJ-PlasticBag

We have heard in the past about, “Some days you get the bear and some days the bear gets YOU!”  But it seems that every time, and we mean EVERY TIME, we try and bag some produce or try and be sneaky about grabbing a bagel out of those bakery bins WITHOUT using those plastic tongs, we get hung up by these stupid plastic bags.

Are they really sealed on both ends?

Honestly, can anyone actually ever find the opening on one try despite the fact that it’s hung on those racks with, what is supposed to be, the open side UP?

No matter what ya do, you cannot find the bag opening ..you squish the bag top between your fingers and do the swirl move… spit on your fingers and repeat the swirl move with the bag between your thumb and fingers… or run over to the glue aisle, grab a tube of that Super Glue, put it on your finger tips and then allow the two sides of the plastic bag to stick to your finger tips and, therefore, open the stupid plastic bag as your pull your fingers apart (if you haven’t glued your fingers together accidentally)?

Ya know… when complaining.. many people say something like, “We can send a man to the moon so why can’t we….“

In this instance we’re saying, “Why do these plastic bags have to be sealed like a hatch on the space shuttle?”  Especially while your hands are full of, recently misted, broccoli!

The bags probably wouldn’t be so hard to open if they didn’t try to SQUEEEEEEZE 10,011 of the bags into a package the size of a Lance Peanut Butter/Cheese Cracker package!

To all you grocery store managers… you have printing ALL OVER that bag.  Is it too hard to put an arrow that points to the top of the bag where the opening is?  And then……………………….well……………………..is it too hard to put a little finger and thumb “traction” sticky thingy on the top of the bags so that I don’t have to lick my fingers like a grandma to get the stupid thing open, Ya Jagoffs??????

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