Football

Apr 18 2012

Steelers Announce “THROW-UP” — I Mean Throw BACK Uniforms

Yesterday the Steelers revealed their throw-back uniforms.  We didn’t know WHAT to say so we let our Twitter Followers say it best.  Here are their thoughts.

Haaaaa…

The shirts were first used in 1934.  So we wondered, what ELSE happened in 1934.  And check this out, the unemployment rate in 1934 was 22%.  Sooooo not only are these uniforms ugly, the represent a time when we had 22% unemployment!!!!  The uninform ALSO represents when the Steelers were called the “Pirates.”

WOW!!  Talk about good luck charms for 2012!!!!

Either way, thank GOD the world has moved to digital TV cuz, if you’re watching these uniforms on an analog TV this season, you’re probably going to be adjusting your horizontal hold 1,934 times.

Hey Steelers, we’re hoping that there’s no stinger hanging off the back of those things.  Don’t count on any extra shirt sales for revenue, unless you get the Allegheny County Jail Inmate apparel contract, Ya Jagoffs!!!!!

Additional note:

Yesterday we put this pic on our Facebook page and it went nuts.  So, for those of you NOT on Facebook, check out the likeness between the Flyers’ Scott Hartnell and the Guy/Lady caught up in the Pitt bomg threat investigation.  CRAZEEEEE SCARY!

Lets Go Pens!

Only 13 more days in the Pittsburgh Magazine poll. 

We would appreciate your vote, click below to get to the ballot.

VOTE HERE

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Mar 21 2012

Where’s The “Heinz Ward?” UPMC or AGH? And What’s All The Fuss?

Just had to post this again given Hine’s awesome personal decision to NOT be like Franco Harris and Rod Woodson!!!!

Originally posted, March 5th but it deserves another hit!!!

Dateline, March 5, 2012: Steelers Wide Receiver, Hines Ward was one of the players released.  This triggered HUGE emtions, good AND bad in the Eccentric-Facebook-Twitter-Posters.

“Aw, he was LOUSY anyway.”

“I’m never going to watch another Steelers game in my entire life!”

But then it happened, we started to see people posting about how “bad” and “good” it was that the Steelers released HEINZ WARD!!!   Facebook follower Pat K. even posted this on our FB page:

…the stoner who called the X morning show Friday and asked if they were gonna have to change the name of the Hines Red Zone now Hines is gone!!  LOL

Enter us!!!!!  We posted, “If you griped about the Steelers releasing #86 and you spelled his name “Heinz” Ward, you’re not really on top of things!” and got a TON of conversation.  The bestest is some Jagoff-ery from KDKA-AM’s Rob Pratte (who is a substitute sports guy on occasion).

Ok, no biggie.  Everyone deserves a little TYPO-Clemency, especially us.  But then, he does it AGAIN.

 

And then AGAIN!!!!!!!!  Isn’t he a sometimes-sports-guy??

 

But WAIT!!!  Two other Facebook followers sent us this, a Facebook Fan Page DEDICATED to “HEINZ WARD” with hundreds of people following and commenting on it!!!!

OK.  So we understand that Roethla, Roethlissb, Rawthlisburghe…. (oh screw it) is hard to figure out.  But Hines Ward???  Are we sooooo entrenched in our Pittsburgh “brands” that we can’t figure out that #86 has NO ASSOCIATION to KETCHUP??????????????????????????????????????  Imagine how HE feels.  He’s been here for 14 seasons and nobody knows his name.  But we’re guessing those same FANS have an opinion on how many 1st, 2nd, 3rd down catches he SHOULD have had and, probably, most have a shirt with his name on it!

“Yeah!  HEINZ is my BOOOOOOOOY!

So let’s set the record straight for the somewhat-educated:

That mall in the north hills area is NOT named after a dude named, Ross Parkmall.   Jerome Bettis DOES own Bettis Grille but had NOTHING to do with the Bettis Plant in West Mifflin.  That tall building in Oakland on the University of Pittsburgh campus is NOT named after a famous Irish lass, Kathea Drawl O’Learning.  Point Park, the park is NOT named after the same guy as Point Park University and certainly has nothing to do with “The Pointe at North Fayette” and NEITHER have anything to do with WPXI weather guy Mike LaPointe.  And finally, Sidney Crosby does NOT own an entire city in Australia and Dan BOWELS-ma does NOT have a degree in gastroenterology and is not partners with the other famous GI doc, Lou Stool.

And if ANY of you ever find out what hospital IS opening the ”HEINZ WARD,” let us know, we wanna have a fund raiser and ask Hines Ward to be the guest of honor, Ya Jagoffs!!!!!!!!

In all seriousness, good luck to you Hines and thanks for playing it smart. 

Your business value in Pittsburgh rose significantly yesterday… more than you could have made going thru the motions in another uniform

Order Your Jagoff Cell Skin Right Now From CellPig (Click the Pic)

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Feb 7 2012

Mrs. Brady Wouldn’t Say That!

If you know ANYTHING about this blog, we typically reserve our posts for people that are making Pittsburgh, or Pittsburghers, look bad.  Today is an exception because it’s just toooooooo good to pass up.

Yesterday’s post about Tom Brady and Coach Belli-cheat losing another Super Bowl, prompted a couple of followers to hook us up with Tommy Boy’s wife, “Mrs. Brady,” and her comments about his co-workers, the Patriots’ wide receivers, not catching the ball.  See!  Too good to pass up.

The first thing that came to mind was, the REAL Mrs. Brady, Carol Brady (Brady Bunch fame) would NEVER act that smug to anyone, not even to Marsha in the Brady Bunch episode when she DID NOT catch the football and broke her nose.

But back to the topic at hand, Mrs. Brady is calling out her husband’s co-workers???  Can you imagine this happening in the REAL world?

Simulated Call To Toni Haggerty at Pittsburgh’s Famous Primanti’s Restaurant:

Hi, this is Gisele, my husband is Tom, the guy that usually works the 5 booths in the back on the left?  I just wanted to let you know that HE works really, REALLY hard, remembering all those sandwich orders without writing them down and cleaning up everyone’s mess after their done slopping their cole slaw all over the place.  But the people that work the tables around him are weak and are making HIM look bad….(celebrity type font impersonated)

You can imagine the beloved Toni responding with something like, “Aw, that’s a shame.  Tell your husband Tom to get his ass into work ASAP so that I can KICK IT!”

Oh boy!  All we can say is, Gisele, keep looking good, but until you do at least 8 Madden NFL 2012 marathons and make a minimum of 50 phone calls to Pittsburgh sports-talk shows under some assumed name like “Coach,” “Duke,”or “Scorekeeper,” just keep quiet, Ya Jagoff!

Special thanks to the following Honorary Jagoffs for helping us on this post:

Wahine Media (Facebook Follower)

Mary Fran Coulter (Facebook Follower)

@deejrburghgrl

 @brandirahill

@DerrickParady

And speaking of gaming marathons, don’t forget this weekend’s ChachiPlays fundraiser! 

Click the icon for details.

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Feb 6 2012

Giants Win! MORE IMPORTANTLY…Brady DOESN’T Win!!!!

God!  When the Patriots were ahead last night, we were REAL CLOSE to posting a pic of Uncle Stush as our Jag today!!!

He blocked the TV by stretching in front of us to get some buffalo chicken dip, broke the chip in the bowl, tried to dig the broken chip out with ANOTHER chip, dripped dip on the carpet, got yelled at by Aunt Tinny for not using a plate, and CONTINUED to stand in between us and the TV while he swished a napkin around on the carpet, with his toe, pretending to clean up the spill while he ate more dip.

The BIGGEST problem, he was blocking the TV during a CRITICAL point of the game… during the E*Trade commercial!!!

But, the Giants pulled it out.  And, even better, Brady and Coach Belli-CHEAT didn’t win.

We asked on Facebook last night, who should be our Jagoff post…here was the list at “PRESS TIME.”

Twitter follower, @copacet1c, also weighed in with:

tom brady; pats never winning after spygate…

Bottom line….Hey Tommy-Brat and Belli-CHEAT.. haaa.. haaaaa..haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..haaaa.haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..haaaaaa (oops, eeked out a pee trickle again from laughing so hard) haaaaa..haaaaaaaa.haaaaaaa….haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa …haaaa…(snort noise) haaaa… you guys lost….haaaa…haaaaa..haaaa.. YOU LOST, Ya Jagoffs!!!!!!!!!

NOTE: We don’t REALLY have an Uncle Stush and Aunt Tinny but we’re sure that EVERY party had a tv-blocking Jagoff last night!  Comment below if you did!!

Here’s a new SPECIAL ITEM.  Click the pick to find it on our store!

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Jan 19 2012

Why Todd Graham Left Pitt – His Kids Didn’t Like It Here!

WOW! The above photo is a link to an article posted about Former-Pitt-Football-Coach-and-Part-time-cha-cha-cha-Chia-Pet-Soon-to-be-Head-Football-Coach-at-God-Knows-Where-State, Todd Graham. The guy, Dr. Saturday did a synopsis (nice word huh?) of an interview that Todd “Slicky” Graham did with Fox Sports Arizona.

As you read it, you just continue to get increasingly ticked off at that guy.. a slooooooooow burn, just like when you’re at the grocery store in line behind that person that has 14 items in the 12 item lane and then waits until they get their total to start counting out their cash INCLUDING counting out the exact change!

Hot Toddy (we REFUSE to refer to him as Coach) goes on and on explaining (interpret as BS-ing) how/why he did what he did. Entire Conversation HERE .

The best part is, he says his kids didn’t like Pittsburgh:

“It was not a good fit for my family. They were not happy there…..All three of my kids went to Pittsburgh and said, ‘I don’t want to live here, dad.”

Well…at least we NOW know that you’ll throw YOUR OWN kids under the bus the same way you threw the Pitt Players under a few of those buses decorated with “Hi Octane!” Toddy, maybe you’re kids are just GENERALLY tired of you MOVING since you’ve had four job changes in 6 years!!!!!

Toddy, we’re pretty sure that you better make this job work because, with the way YOU jump around in jobs, if this one doesn’t work out, the next “High Octane” you promote is gonna be about $3.60 a gallon as you work the overnight shift for Sheetz! Unless you have some secret pics of some athlethic director with a GOAT! But if you DO need to move along, make sure you look up some internet tips on how to explain frequent job hopping on your resume. We looked up one website that said,

Handle frequent job changes by NOT listing your jobs in chronological order and only listing your job skills as a summary.

Entire Article Here

The BAD news for you is, we doubt that there’s ANYONE looking for someone with your job skill summary…. MEDIOCRE, HIGH-PRICED, FAST TALKING, SLICKY FOOTBALL COACH, Ya Jagoff!!!

Thanks to Twitter follower Project-P-Pittsburgh for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher and sending us a link to this article!!

See our other Todd Graham by clicking the pic below.

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