Concert Going Jagoffs

Drunken Stupor or Drunk and Stupid?

YJ-Facial

 

Look mom, NO HANDS (to put out in front of me to protect my head and face from making direct contact with the concrete while I am drunk)!

Same ol’ story:

Big concert at Heinz Field

People don’t know how to drink responsibly.

They forget that fighting at a tailgate is far different than fighting in a hockey game (you don’t just get 4 minutes)

They forget all sense of what happens to garbage… (like, they probably DON’T throw it on the floor at home)

The fan-base looks like morons despite, probably most of them, were decent human beings

(See full story and video on WPXI)

But then ya have my man… who has too much to drink and, clearly NO FRIENDS.  Because, I would have to think that if I got THIS drunk in front of MY friends, they would throw me in the back seat of a car and duct tape me to it for my own safety while they carry on with their celebration.

So this guy’s friends let him wonder off…. and from the looks of it, he’s doing a great audition for a Cirque du Soleil troupe.

Watch the 6-second version of my man doing a very good, I mean, even a 10 from the Russian Judge good, face plant into the cement.


Hey “Puke Bryan,” what a proud moment, heh?  Thank goodness you were able to get up!  Otherwise you might have been hidden under the 5-feet of garbage left by some of your drunk, idiot, no class, can’t-handle-my-first-beer, I-like-those-restaurants-that-allow-patrons-to-throw-peanut-shells-on-the-floor, an-overused-concert-porta-potty-is-cleaner-than-my-bathroom-at-home buddies.

By the way, your prize?  We just paid to register you into the Monty Python Ministry of Silly Walks AND you’ve won for best graphic depiction of the evolution of man, stage 3 (3 steps outta the pond and kinda hunched over) Ya Jagoff!!

 

(See previous concert Jagoff posts here.)

 

No Shoes, No Shirt, No MANNERS!!!!!!!!!!

YJ-ChesneyTrash

 

As you know, this blog was started to point out anyone trying to embarrass Pittsburgh!  Well……..the Kenny Chesney tour rolled through town this weekend which gets us to today’s blog post!

As usual for this concert, the world shut down ALMOST equal to when the Steelers are playing a Sunday game against the Ravens.  Tailgating, drinking, peeing in public, laughs, a few beer-muscle fights, etc, etc, etc.  You know the drill.

And when it was all over, the parking lots looked like the picture above.  You know, standard stuff…. you throw stuff all over the ground…..just like after you have a party at your OWN house.

Or, since this is graduation party time… just like when you’re done eating your Giant Eagle fried chicken, Nana’s homemade rigatoni and meatballs and Aunt Jean’s potato salad and cookies… you just toss your paper plate, utensils, napkins, drinking cup or can/bottle right on to their driveway. Standard behavior, right?  Oh, and don’t forget to leave a bra, pair of underwear or errant shoe somewhere in the mess too!

Yesterday, WPXI Reporter Dave Bondy, posted this photo on his Facebook page.  It was shared over 2,000 times and had thousands of comments… including people supporting the fact that this mess was substantiated by the fact that it costs $40 to park and that the cost  of cleanup is “paid for.”

Oh!  So with that same thinking, the more gift-money I put in the graduation card, the more garbage I’m allowed to throw around on the graduate’s YARD!

Some comments blamed the mess on COUNTRY MUSIC listeners.  Yes… THAT’S it, right?  And I guess all West Virginians really ARE related and have 1 tooth!  NOPE!

Let me take a minute to explain who the people are that left this garbage!

They are people who spent $329 on beer, $221 on food, $183 on bags of ice, rented DJ’s and RV’s and built customized corn hole games, wore $550 cowboy hats and boots and even spent $15 on lighted necklaces but thought NOTHING about paying $4.90 to get a box of trash bags that they could put their garbage in and leave at the lot for pick-up by official clean-upper-ers! (That’s my new word.. I own it.. feel free to use it as your own.)

These are also the same people who have a meticulously clean car and bitch if the kid drops a McD’s french fry between the seats!

These people do NOT need to be fined as some think.. they need to meet my grandmother who would think NOTHING of pulling the short hairs on the back of their neck, twisting them to inflict maximum pain, and not letting go until EVERY piece of garbage was in a bag!

And she’d be saying, “You better get this pig sty RED UP NOW, Ya Jagoff!!”

Find WPXI’s Dave Bondy on Facebook and Twitter.

Express your thoughts below in the comments section.

This artwork by Pittsburgh artist, Justin Roach show’s our City at it’s best.

ImJustArt

Click on the artwork to see this and other awesome artwork done by Justin.

You Paid WHAT To Go To The Concert?

Kenny Chesney is here tomorrow night!!!  In honor of that, here is a repost from LAST YEAR’s concert so that you all know what to look for at this year’s parking lot mess!

As expected, there were a few “Concert Jagoffs” at the recent Kenny Chesney show Saturday night. The local news showed a bunch of them that got arrested for fighting. (Yes, and we should sell beer at Kennywood cuz adults know how to control their liquor consumption in the hot sun around other adults, RIGHT?)

But this guy, we will call him Bucky like we do all concert Jagoff males, takes the prize!! He’s proof that, in the age of smart phones, your close friends are you close friends at least UNTIL you do something stupid enough worthy of posting on the internet!!!!

Can ya hear it?

Bucky’s Friends: “Hey, we just defended your honor.”

Bucky (Fake Name): “Oh, cool!”

Bucky’s Friends: “Yeah. Someone said you weren’t even good enough to sleep with the trash and we said, yes you are and sent them this picture to prove it .”

When you look at this picture, you think to yourself, “Wow, what ever happened to getting just-drunk-enough that you start telling everyone you love them, you started dancing alone in a corner fist-pumping and you started showing your buddy’s girlfriend how good you are at tying a cherry stem into a knot with your tounge?”

So you pay half of your mortgage payment on a concert ticket, invest in 27 bags of Doritos, pitch in for 4 kegs of beer, get the little lady a new blouse and cowboy hat, pay 1/3 of your mortgage payment to park, spend all afternoon singing “Kinny” songs getting fired up for the show and then………………..BLAM!!! Here you are in a position so compromising that your friends LEAVE YOU behind for dead or, even worse, help load your passed-out body into a random pick up truck bed AFTER and only after, they snap this pic of you sleeping on the cement!!!!

Bucky (not your REAL name), this photo is your friends teaching you a lesson through a newly approved Behavioral Change Methodology Phone App that we created called, TPE (Total Public Embarrassment).

We’re, not sure when you woke up from this but we’re guessing you had some serious gravel stuck to the side of your face when you did and enough pock marks to make you look like Bill Murray.
We’re also guessing you may have woken up with the munchies, took one look at the trash behind you, and said to yourself “Who dropped me off at the Eat n Park buffet?” as you started eating!!!

All we know is, in the future, be careful who you call a “friend.” Always be careful where you fall asleep. And, the big one is, stay away from the sissy, fruity BLENDER DRINKS the next time, ESPECIALLY if you’re wearing a plaid shirt, Ya Jagoff!!!!

 

So go enjoy the concert and for CRISSAKES keep those cameras handy!!