Public Restroom Jagoffs – Comedian Greg Parks

Time for a ”guest blog” 

as we give some Pittsburgh Comedians a chance to express themselves!

By Greg Parks (Pittsburgh Comedian)

We have become so lazy that we no longer even do the simple things. Perhaps I really mean the decent thing. I speak of today’s modern bathrooms that are being used in businesses around the country. The new technology being used in the toilet, sink and hand drying, is leading to a new generation of lazy, inconsiderate people.

Have you noticed that a bathroom that does not have the new technology you are often greeted by a yellow puddle in the urinal, or a poop blanket party in the toilet? My friends, if you do not hear a swoosh sound; chances are that YOU may have to actually flush the potty yourself. Here is another clue for you. If the sink has handles on either side of the spigot, the water will not turn on no matter how long you hold your hands under it. YOU must actually turn it on, and knowing your luck with the ladies, this may not happen.

There is a similar process with the soap. There are times when YOU actually need to press the dispenser to get soap on your hands.

Finally, there are things called paper towels, and yes, sometimes you have to turn a handle or push a bar for them to come out. Shaking your wet hands to dry them off, and spraying me with dirty water, is poor form. While we are on the subject of hand dryers, just a warning to the great unwashed, everyone in the place can hear them blowing, so everyone knows if you actually washed your hands.

It would be nice if you would exert at least the same amount of energy you use taking a dump, to cleaning up after yourself. Ya jagoff!!

You can follow Greg Parks on Twitter and his own blog HERE

Also follow the website Pittsburgh Comedy to see when he and other comedians will be performing live. 

 

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