Aug 6 2012
As everyone knows from following this blog, we call out Jagoffs. They may be local OR, as in this case, outside if Pittsburgh, caught in the act of JAGOFFERY by a native or naturalized Pittsburgher.
This is the note that accompanied the original pic:
I am originally from Pittsburgh but live in California. This picture was taken near the San Francisco Airport. A man drove his Cadillac into this parking lot that was marked with an EXIT ONLY ARROW and smashed into this DO NOT ENTER sign, then made a claim to the property owner that they should pay for the damage to his car because the sign shouldn’t have been there.
We have taken liberties with the oiginal evidence pic by using our Jagoff-estrator to highlight the gory parts like they do on those crime shows.
Well, our SJU (Special Jagoff Unit) investigators headed to San Fran to investigate this. After they got done pigging out at the Ghirardelli Chocolate Factory and riding the cable cars singing “Rice a Roni… the San Francisco treat!”
They sent us their report.
As it turns out, this driver was in a Batman costume and believed he was entering the secret Batcave. So he was expecting the sign to drop down automatically as he drove in. A reasonable assumption in his fantasy world.
And to top it off, the driver is a poor reader/speller. He thought the sign actually read “Donut” Enter….meaning if you want a Donut, enter “here.” And who wouldn’t run a sign over to get a donut? (we refrain from any crime fighter/donut jokes at this point).
Hey “SanFran Batman,” we hope that you waste your entire Christmas Club savings on this law suit. Then, we hope that the “Do Not Enter” sign files a countersuit against you, gets a $1,789,914 payout and then spends the money on bedazzling itself AND some Dale Carnegie ASSERTIVENESS training.
That way, the next time you’re driving cluelessly and try to ENTER a one-way parking lot gate that’s clearly marked to NOT enter, the sign will be much more noticeable with it’s reflective BEDAZZLES and, BEFORE you actually hit it, the sign will ASSERT itself in Pittsburghese, “Look right ‘der! It says do NOT enter, YA JAGOFF!!!”
Thanks so much to Pittsburgh Ex-Pat, Nicole Borello, for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!!!
Don’t forget to check out our t-shirts. Proceeds go to Breast Cancer Research at Magee Women’s Hospital.
Click the pic.