Jul 27 2012
Lines? What Lines?
We had a completely different post set for today because we didn’t want this entire week to be about Peter Parkers. But, out of no where came an email. And it contained, not just photo of a bad parking job, but a photo of bad parking job CALLED OUT by one of our printable notes!!! (We’re soooo excited!!) This horrendous parking job was found at the Cinemark parking lot out near Robinson Township, PA.
But wait!!! Remember, we try to be about looking for solutions vs. placing blame. You see, if we wanted to, we would actually place blame on the incompetency of the line painters for putting the lines in the wrong place and then congratulate the driver of the car for proving the point and making the line painters look bad!!
So as not to place blame on the driver without getting the real story, we sent our “Hard-Hitting” Jagoff Investigative Reporter team out to look at this. And after they were done eating at the Settler’s Ridge Market Place and getting cheap boxes of candy cigarettes and boston baked beans and purchasing nostalgic t-shirts at Five Below, our investigators found out this poor driver has a major vision problem.
You see, this driver, pulled into this space and, on the way to the movies. As they were entering the theater lobby, they walked right into the post between the two entry doors. Then, when standing in line to purchase their tickets, was found stradling the “form line here” rope, and when they went to get a fountain drink, ended up with a mix of Pepsi and Raspberry Iced Tea and a very wet hand because they couldn’t get the cup directly under one of the spouts and, finally, when they ultimately got into the theater, they ended up complaining to the Cinemark Manager about how sore the theater seats made the crack of their butt… only to realize they had actually watched the entire movie while uknowingly sitting on an ARMREST vs. an actual chair!!
So Cinemarker-Peter-Parker, while we sell our “Don’t Be A Jagoff” t-shirts to raise money for breast cancer research, know that our next fundraiser is going to raise money to send you for a well-needed optometry appointment. We might event raise enough money to get you some cool frames at Pittsburgh’s best Eyetique!!
And, until that appointment, please only visit car washes that have that pulling-thingy to pull your car straight in. And, when in a lot like this, don’t even try to back-up, pull-forward, turn, back-up, turn the wheel, then pull forward between the lines (otherwise known as PARKING) cuz, all that silly backing-up/pulling-up stuff is a total waste of gasoline at $3.59 per gallon, Ya Jagoff!
Special thanks to Twitter follwer Amy C. for being our Honorary Jagoff Catcher today!
Get your own printable Peter Parker notes to leave on these cars.
Click the pic below to download.
Ugh! That parking lot is bad enough as it is without these poor-sighted peter parking jagoffs.
So friggin hilarious! I love that Amy C. “tagged and bagged” the Jagoff!